Troubles Tonight - Coping With Trauma Hysterics

[Deleted member 93]

Well, the kloplin (spell it right that time?) Any way it is for seizures normally. I guess one of the reasons they tried to push my xanax off into that one when they tired to pull me off. Withdrawal symptom is seizure. Did not work but hell the damn doc pulled me off at what? I think 6 mgs to 1 mg and added the kloplin. All of everything even by the makers said no faster than 1/2 a mg every 4 days. Effects could be lethal. So yes, not much faith in docs especially after the hospital trips from that (pissed off ER docs at that doctor cleaning up her mess). I seem to really piss them off going in having at least a clue. I had 2 docs. One was supportive to get me off and therapy and loved I learned so much while the other outright said do not read the net. I was torturing myself not taking all the dope she wanted. I feel a helluva lot better than if I did following that ones advice. Sad they hate you having knowledge though I could have sworn I picked up somewhere that the point of being a doctor is to teach you to care for yourself, not be a weekly ATM... As they say knowledge is power but not enough doctors want you to have it.

I do pretty well standing up for myself Jim with knowledge, it is the temper being kept in check in the process I have issues with. I then have to bite my tongue and bam I get ill. Still have things to work out there.

I am absolutely thrilled she made a friend, wonderful news!! She is doing amazing in all honesty. Absolutely amazing.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Bec, that has to be normal... avoiding mirror.

 

[Jim]

Bec, you sound like Evie. Excepting she doesn't have your physical strength, thank Christ.

I believe it would be in your best interest to deal with that rage. Was reading rage causes not only heart problems and high blood pressure, but some cancers also. However as you say, I don't know how you will go about it dealing with it. I'm no expert on the subject.

Thank you for your wish, it's appreciated. We are thinking of you as well.

Veiled, what a carry on! I am glad it is getting better for you, and hope that continues. Understand the anger towards those doctors. I feel it myself and have to watch myself as well.

I am absolutely thrilled she made a friend, wonderful news!! She is doing amazing in all honesty. Absolutely amazing.

Yes it's marvelous. I still maintain she is basically an outgoing person. She insists she's not, but she makes friends left and right given half a chance. She's only shy for a little bit, then there's no shutting her up.

Jim.

 

[becvan]

Hehe, I see many many similarities between myself and Evie.. it's like talking to a younger version of myself somedays! LOL..

I am glad she made a freind too. Yes, she does make freinds easily once she opens up a bit.. look at the forum! Her distrust of others and herself is what she sees instead of her ability to interact with others on a freindship basis.. basic trust issues and PTSD.. it effects everything we see, do and say.

bec

 

[Deleted member 93]

LOL bec, I think they call it PTSD... OK, just being a stinker now here.

 

[becvan]

yes you are.. :fight: hehe

bec

 

[Jim]

She's afraid of me - how can I help her?

Took my wife and nephew to the airport this morning, leaving Evie and myself alone here for the next week. Evie cried when they left, and on the drive home confided she was afraid of me. Got home, it escalated... she started begging me, please, please don't kill me! I'm afraid, I'm afraid... cried and cried, and I could tell she was sincerely afraid. Finally was able to get her to lay down, gave her a pill as I usually do in these situations.

I know my being in the military triggers her, my being just returning from Afghanistan as well. However I thought, mistakenly I suppose, that she was getting more used to me. Guess though she was using Kathy as a protection, and now that Kathy is away her terror is renewed.

Want to help her, but I'm unsure what to do. I've reassured her many times I won't hurt her. Is that all I can do? She's having cognitive therapy to deal with these fears, but only just started working on herself, so in the meantime I am unsure how to help. I can't leave her alone, obviously. She needs to have someone here, and right now that is me. Suggestions would be appreciated.

Jim.

 

[becvan]

I wish I had more to say than this.. LOL but I'm sure others wil pick up with what I haven't thought of..

Evie is under stress from the change in circumstances and the stress of facing you alone.. Two extra stressors at once. That's alot plus the whole trigger factor.

So watch your body language and hers. Attempt to have open body language, instead of closed. Examples are, don't fold your arms across your chest, cross your legs.. when talking to her, keep your arms open and at your sides, palms up, have your legs comfortably in front of you, lean (very slightly) towards her when speaking to her.. keep your facial expressions open (soft features) no frowning or grimacing if you can help it.. use a soft tone of voice and speak quietly around her.. and calmly..

If Evie is keeping her arms and legs crossed, using furniture to be between you as a buffer, leaning back and looking distressed, she needs some physical room to feel safe, give it to her.

Also Evie was honest with you, which is very difficult. Although it's distressing praise her for being honest with you, be honest with her back. Let her know your not sure what to do to calm her fears or make her feel safe and that your willing to work on this with her, together.

Keep reassuring her, with your body language and actions.. words are meaningless (although helpful.. let's be honest here.. PTSD sufferers don't trust anything anyone says..) so you need to back those words up with your actions.. at all times.. the slightest aggression will set her off again.

I know this sounds daunting.. but you can both work through this together! I have faith in you both. This is a great opportunity for both of you to work some of these issues/fears/triggers out together and build up a more trusting relationship. See it as an opportunity!

Wish you both all the best (and the fam with the new baby!) and thinking of you's..

bec

 

[anthony]

She will come around to the change Jim, she just doesn't like it, thats all. Nobody with PTSD likes change, of any description, especially sudden change, as anxiety takes time in order to get used to something; for example, if you and Evie are together for a month or two, then you leave and Kathy returns, she will get all nervous again, feel unsafe, etc etc... because her mind hasn't adapted to the change.

Your right though, Evie doesn't trust you, me, Brian, or any military / ex-military person, because of the factors surrounding her own trauma.

 

[Jim]

Thank you both. At a loss for words tonight but the comments are appreciated.

Jim.

 

[Jim]

Evie's had another blow I'm afraid. Yesterday morning her friend from the cancer support group passed away. Septicemia. She was young, having just turned 23. It's quite the tragedy. Had been warned that some of Evie's acquaintances from the group could pass on. However. We naturally thought it would be one of the older persons, not this young one who was fighting so hard for life. Terrifying, as she died from an infection rather than the cancer itself. This could easily be Evie if we are not vigilant. There has been no blow up, yet. Evie of course cried when we broke the news to her. Has been despondent since. However. We are bracing for an explosion.

Surprised us this morning by declaring she wants to attend the prayers and funeral. Pleased but at the same time concerned. It would not do, her having an explosion at the funeral, and knowing Evie, that is a definite possibility. Not trying to be insensitive towards her, but we are unsure whether to allow her to attend or not. I realize we need to discuss this openly with her, but unsure how to go about that either. Rehearsed several scenarios in my head, all of which end with Evie being hurt and angry.

Not sure anything can be said that will help at this point. Not an easy situation. Guess I only wanted to write a bit, before I tackle this with Evie.

Jim.

 

[Kathy]

I share my husband's trepidation in this matter. Currently it seems like a no-win situation. We don't want Evie to cause a scene at the funeral, but we also don't wish to hurt her feelings, insinuate we don't trust her, or deprive her of saying good-bye to her friend. However, we do need to confront her about this, and make certain she's up to going to the prayers and funeral without having a meltdown.