News Uk Sex Abuse Reportage Over The Last Year Or So....

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Yes I see that, I don't disagree in the slightest. I just feel that it is the police's job, not the media's, a little discretion and/or at least some tact might help. The investigation can go on, but why does the media have to be the mediator, why can the facts not stay between the victims, the police, any medical professionals if need be and the suspects.

Here's my problem - its being spread like gossip rather than news and treated in the same way. The potential criminals given all benefit of the doubt but not the victims. Why does it have to be made into such a debacle like some petty soap opera, when it is very much real. Why can't it be treated like what it is: News. People might debate it, it may be turned into satire, but usually people don't gossip about news like school girls. Also during the stage before conviction, the attention the Celebrity gets is through the roof and usually all in favour of, I'm not saying we all need to judge them evil immediately but how can people think that because they saw someone on the telly growing up that there's no chance that they could ever do something like that and all those people must be lying. You have no idea how many people were saying that about Jimmy Saville before everything came out. Even now people are still trying to make it acceptable because they are celebrities - ok, but what about the victims.

In the UK, there is rarely any help psychologically, how are all these victims coping? Are they leading healthy happy lives or coping to some extent or are they being penalised by the government, punished for being disabled, never given the help they need and deserve.

Most people don't doubt soldiers have PTSD, or those who were affected by 9/11, no they are or should at least be given some respect that they've been greatly affected by what wrong. Do people turn round and start defending war or potential extremist groups/individual?. Is that what it's even about? No, I don't think so. It's about the people who come back with a haunted head. Why can't the victims (or potential victims) involved be given some level of respect and not spoken about as if they caused it. At least a soldier goes to war with some knowledge that they will likely see terrible things. Does a child expect that by simply being alive, they will be abused? No of course not.

I'm glad you have heard a change in tack. Because I just keep hearing worse and worse things as the days pass. Mostly these don't occur to me, I hear, see or read them, but just the other day my GP asked me if when hospitalised they had changed my diagnosis, because he doubts the likelyhood of the PTSD diagnosis given to me by a qualified psychiatrist because he doesn't seem to understand why I've got it. In all fairness that's because he never received the letter from the psychiatrist as apparently the surgery don't open all the letters, only some :banghead: Well, my medical records are now being updated with a full trauma history, so no medical professional with access to my file will need a full explanaition as to "Why" I might have PTSD.

Sorry, sidetracked - I usually start a sentence and have moved on to a new topic before I've finished it. It's not that I disagree with the publication of it all, I just wish it was better in some way, for all parties involved. Not that I know how.

 

[ms spock]

These are important discussions to have even if the media doesn't do them well. At least people are discussing the child sexual abuse issues.

Sometimes when people are shocked by what has happened they go into denial and go in to victim blaming. This is not helpful but perhaps the public, the media and people in general will shift as time goes on and more information comes to the fore.

It can be hard to be around at times, that is for sure.

 

[ms spock]

They really desperately need to do an educational documentary on the effects of abuse and what normal reactions are.

I don't see our society as a whole having any ability to make good decsions or deal with these things better if there is such wide spread ignorance and misinformation.

I actually think it's something BB1 should be tackling.

Maybe you can write a letter suggesting this.

Or even that they do a documentary on the effects on survivors about the ways these subjects are explored by the media.

It is worth a shot.

 

[Abstract]

As hard as it is to hear the ignorance and as harmful as it is I still think the exposure does more good than harm and that sensationalism or not at least it is a topic that is getting attention. We know a lot of the media's motivations are selfish but when it comes to the big picture there are always many subjects vying for attention and unless something is in the news it will not have much hope of being treated as important. Media also pushes politicians to make something a priority.

Rather than keeping things quiet to attempt to stop people talking **** I think we need to educate people and bring them up to a level where there is less ignorance expressed.

These things being discussed don't cause the ignorance they just expose it. If its not exposed we have no hope of addressing it.

As for keeping the accused's identity quiet, I don't think we should change things. I know it is imperfect and some innocent parties get caught up in allegations but it is extremely important that it is in the news as that is often the key factor in bringing other victims forward and getting a conviction. Especially since in so many cases it is a he-said-she-said situation.

I am glad they tend to prosecute anyone making false allegations as it is extremely harmful to both the person falsely accused and every single person who has genuinely been victimised.

I guess at least the most ignorant comments reported tend to get a huge backlash and public condemnation and that should slowly start filtering through through to the general public - one hopes.

They need to do some education and soon though. For example people don't understand why anyone would wait that long to report something. A documentary with someone explaining their personal account of the battle to tell or not and the issues involved would go a long way to improving things.

PS. Ms Spock, yes I probably should. I was thinking this morning that I would like to do a petition or something similar but wouldnt know how to start and then there is the issue of privacy. I know a few people but again having such a strong opinion is the same as a disclosure in a sense and I don't know if I am ready for that, much to my shame.

Open to any suggestions from anyone. If nothing else I will do a letter but there should be something more powerful that could be done.

 

[ms spock]

PS. Ms Spock, yes I probably should. I was thinking this morning that I would like to do a petition or something similar but wouldnt know how to start and then there is the issue of privacy. I know a few people but again having such a strong opinion is the same as a disclosure in a sense and I don't know if I am ready for that, much to my shame.

Open to any suggestions from anyone. If nothing else I will do a letter but there should be something more powerful that could be done.

A letter is a good start Abstract.

There is nothing to be ashamed at needing to learn new skills and knowledge. You might get to do something else but a letter is a good way to start.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I think in my hopeless wish for some change and perhaps heated discussion I have waffled enough to get side tracked and confuse everyone of what I mean! In my wish for change I don't really mean I want complete censoring or no discussion, I just would like it if there was more tact.

I don't think we need to stop people talking, on the contrary - - I just think it should be about the more important things prevention and aftercare (although maybe that's selfish on my part, maybe if things were better understood how bad it can be I wouldn't feel like such a failure to society and I might get better help from the NHS), and I don't think the media needs to stop reporting it entirely. I don't even think the names of the celebrities were hidden, I just wish it wasn't treated like gossip. I just don't know, I just feel so frustrated by it all and I do have some, albeit probably misguided feeling that somehow the media are encouraging spite and maliciousness, such as, for example, the victim blaming. Somehow it feels like they encourage it.

I suppose I feel that the media if it is raking things up like it is, for all the good it does really needs to encourage truth and education of its readers as to the very real side effects that victims suffer. I had someone tell me that people don't get PTSD from sexual abuse or grooming only from witnessing domestic violence, because a groomed child believes the abuser is right. I also had someone say that they didn't believe there were any victims as most reported cases of childhood sex abuse were lies - I believe some maybe but most? Both comments in my eyes despicable and uneducated.

They need to do some education and soon though. For example people don't understand why anyone would wait that long to report something. A documentary with someone explaining their personal account of the battle to tell or not and the issues involved would go a long way to improving things.

^^This. Yes, I think this is what I believe needs to be done. With the media in general (not so much on the news front, more the celebrity gossip mags), so many things don't feel real or containing gravity, but this is very real and the victim blaming is about the least helpful thing however natural it is. My abusers did it to me, I do it to myself, I don't need strangers doing it too. I suppose I'm taking this all rather too personally, I seem to be equating the discussion of sex abuse and pedophillia in general and applying it to me (and to people here as well). Leaving me feeling that as a group we're much attacked, blamed and mistunderstood and as a result in need of re-educating the country. You don't need me to fight your battles and/or defend you - but I wish someone would defend me and more broadly speaking us. Sorry off on a tangent again.

I think the reality is I have no idea what I want any which way but feel upset about the situation as a whole.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Also I think In my frustration, I am probably attacking everything and anything without really thinking what my attacks may mean defensively. Very unhelpful, internally and especially If I then go and share them on a public forum like this. I think I really am crazy, but I suppose I knew that already! :wacky:

Sorry if I upset anyone. No harm intended. :confused:

 

[Abstract]

I suppose I'm taking this all rather too personally, I seem to be equating the discussion of sex abuse and pedophillia in general and applying it to me

Kas, I think we all feel this way. I don't think it's possible to hear these comments and not take it personally when we have had similar experiences.

t somehow the media are encouraging spite and maliciousness, such as, for example, the victim blaming

I think we have to be realistic here. Newspapers are partly about portraying what public opinion and news is and partly about selling newspapers. When it comes to something that is so personal and difficult for us then that is hard. If we take a step back though and look at it from a distance almost all of the worst things said have been reported comments from celebrities or those in influential positions and it is newspapers that have exposed those and have reported the backlash to them. The condemnation from others who are more knowledgeable. Sadly when it comes to the media there will always be a mixture of the good and the plain nasty.

Yes, a lot of it is gossip and I don't believe the majority of those doing the reporting are passionate about portraying our point of view but there will be some who care and even if it is sensationalism at least it gets discussed. As distasteful and personally offensive as that may be.

I just think it should be about the more important things prevention and aftercare

This is the problem. In the real world the only way this happens is if the topic gets some publicity and energy behind it and if politicians see ignoring it as a possible nail in their political coffins.

If public debate is high enough then that is what potentially generates change. As much as that sickens me and makes me sad about the state of the world and peoples motives and morals I am willing to play the game if it will help those who are abused get more help and understanding long term.

This stuff is hard on all of us. I feel personally emotionally assaulted from some of the things I have heard. And noone knows I have any relevant experiences so I can't even express how I feel fully.

Hugs if you want one.

 

[Abstract]

You are not attacking anyone here and you are not crazy. Just upset and understandably too.
:inlove:

 

[Abstract]

Strangely I have seen two positive reports since I wrote. Both on BBC.

Apparently the amount of sexual abuse reports have gone up by 82% since last year as a direct after effect of the Jimmy Saville and co issue. They say it is as a result of more confidence that something will be done as well as more information.

The NSPCC do such a great job.

 

[rainy_daze]

The allegations against Rolf Harris haven't yet been proved though

I haven't been following the allegations against him, or really the allegations against many of the named people. I find it too upsetting, and only hear about it due to others interest.

Thankfully I hear more sensible and sensitive things said about those who are coming forward, rather than what Abstract listened to at the party, and I also hear a lot of anger towards perpetrators of crimes against children and women. These things being said do still hurt me, because it isn't a topic I handle well emotionally, but hearing them is far preferable to ignorance. It's time people had an attitude change away from a victim blaming culture.

If I could like both of these posts one hundred times, I would do so:

I suppose I'm taking this all rather too personally, I seem to be equating the discussion of sex abuse and pedophillia in general and applying it to me Kas, I think we all feel this way. I don't think it's possible to hear these comments and not take it personally when we have had similar experiences.

 

[rainy_daze]

I've just read an article about another one, this time someone who has confessed to the crimes committed and will be sentenced sometime soon.

I'm angry to read in the article that the police had been informed of some of the things this man was doing for several years, and yet, they did absolutely nothing about it. Nothing. Yes, that's right, they sat around doing nothing all that time. I know the police force are now being investigated over it, but will that really achieve anything?

What is wrong with the people in our country, when they are told someone is abusing children and they have the power to stop them - to do some work and put the offender in prison - yet they decide not to. They choose to do nothing. Why were none of these complaints (against perpetrator) taken seriously? I'm so angry.

I'm angry that children often have no voice. I'm angry that even when children are able to, they are too afraid to speak. I'm angry that people warn the police of an offender and nothing gets done, while children are hurt. I'm angry monsters exist, and that they continue to exist with the help of people who ignore what they're doing.

We need an attitude shift in the UK, and we need the law enforcers to start doing their jobs properly. Total disgrace, I'm ashamed to be living here and part of this society. Is the injustice the same in every country? In each country are the people in authority turning a blind eye to it all? It's so awful.

I'm sorry, I needed to get that off my chest and I don't feel able to talk about this with anyone in my life. Thank you to anyone who read this. I'm away to retreat into a film to stop myself thinking about all this. Healing vibes from me to all who need them.