Relationship Up And Down Days

[we are fated]

Hey everyone,

I'm having my first up day since my boy said he couldn't be in a relationship with me at the moment, as he has to heal himself before he can start a relationship. I mean up in that I've not cried, I've eaten and I've done things today that have taken my mind off him a bit. But as the night draws in my heartbeat quickens and that anxious dread reappears in my chest and stomach and I feel the sad coming back. All I want to do underneath all the distractions is reach out to him.

I know time is a healer, and I know his going off to heal doesn't mean I'll never hear from him again but my days are so up and down at the moment that my thoughts are too, one day I trust what he's said to me and feel semi-at peace, and the next I'm convincing myself this is just his way of telling me he's not interested, which he has outright told me he is.

What do you guys do to keep yourselves positive and hopeful through a withdrawal/isolation period? Does anyone have any tips for keeping anxiety at bay? I've downloaded a couple of relaxation apps on my phone that have helped a bit when getting to sleep, but apart from that I'm not having much luck.

X

 

[Snowangel1225]

one day I trust what he's said to me and feel semi-at peace, and the next I'm convincing myself this is just his way of telling me he's not interested

This is what I am going through also. I have some moments where I feel absolutely zen-ish and comfortable with myself and the situation, then turn around a couple of hours later and feel the dread and panic start creeping in again. Evenings and nights are the worst for me. I am finding that the more ways I can keep myself distracted, the better. I still think about him but the busier I am, the less I obsess. Reading about PTSD helps me too. Knowing that others are going through this and my situation is not unique is comforting. I just finished reading "Love Our Vets: Restoring Hope for Families of Veterans with PTSD" and that helped a lot. I downloaded the Kindle version from Amazon for $2.99 on sale. Maybe it's something you would like to look into and it might help.

 

[nz16]

I'm going through the same thing. You are not alone. Spending time with family and friends has helped me a lot. Today for me is a down day :-( all I want is to talk him. It's soo twisted. Don't forget to take care of yourself too! Xo hugs

 

[bakergirl]

I go through also, too often actually, with my loved one. Friday nights are the hardest for me, anxiety wise, if he's going to do something regretful and hurtful it seems to happen on Friday nights. Not all Friday nights, just when he's pulling away and being distant and telling me he can't do this anymore. But he can go out drinking and talking with strangers and flirting with women, or chatting on FB for hours...it's very hard to not look at the actions and to not over-analyze the thing you are seeing and feeling. It takes an enormous amount of personal strength and faith to keep strong.

Over the years it seems to get easier, at least for me, to know that when he pulls away, shuts down, that this is not my man...this is the beast trying to kill him and hurt him and pull into the deep abyss, only then can I see how incredibly strong this man is, and how much he loves me and his family. He's doing the best he can, and I can do the same by keeping my heart open. And you know what, he has come to trust this, he knows that I'm his rock, even when he's being such a jerk, he knows who will be there when the sun peaks back into his dark mind and wounded soul.

Keep strong, keep doing the things you love to do, don't stop living just because he's in a battle. When he's ready, you'll have your man back, and if not, that's okay too...no guarantees of happy ever after in this life :)