General Up and Down! Hubby Struggling With PTSD Course

[anthony]

Hi Jen,

Yer, all is good here. Finding routine again, a little tired all round, but holding up pretty good. Much easier the second time than the first. Kerrie is doing a really great job, and coping so much better. Having a natural birth opposed to the caeser last time is just tremendous for her recovery now... she is up and going, just taking it easy, but able to look after herself.

Jen, kick hubby in the arse, because missing any parts of the course could simply mean missing the one bit of information that clicks for him, and puts it all in perspective. He has given up and not willing to help himself. This only means destructive behaviour....

 

[Jen]

He has given up and not willing to help himself. This only means destructive behaviour....

I hope this was only a minor setback Anthony talking to him tonight I think he will go in tomorrow fingers crossed.
I know everyone is different but when you did the course did you notice an improvement in yourself during the course or did it take a while?
Jen

 

[Jen]

Well he went to the clinic today I had a chat to Martha she said he is finding the trauma sessions difficult but he needs to get through this.
I am going to a spouse meeting on Friday with a relationship counsellor.
Great photos Anthony!
Jen

 

[jods]

Hi Jen
How are you doing through all of this? Hope your doing ok.
Did your hubby go today?

 

[jods]

Can you take some notes on Fri & throw us some pearls of wisdom!

 

[Jen]

Hey Jods how about I just throw you a husband instead!
Im doing ok thanks I am at work all day and keeping busy but how I wish things would get better. But I am not real confident he is upset tonight with himself that he forgets things if its not one thing its another.:dont-know
Jen

 

[jods]

LOL! One hubby's enough!
Ahh,the old goldfish memory-my hubby is the same. Some days we just can't win. You know what they say-Men are from mars!
Glad to see you've still got your sense of humour!

 

[anthony]

Jen, often you will find little subtle improvements in simple things during the course, but overall, chances are they will get worse, and remain that way for a few months after the course, until they put all the pieces together and use what they now know to help themselves get on with life.

The course often goes up and down. During the week you might be ok, then the few days off you will crash and go to shit, often then not wanting to go back, but you must force yourself. Then, the group talks about all the downs they just had, nuts them out and pulls them apart, then gets on with the rest of the week. The first day back each week is usually the most significant, because that is where people learn about their downs over the rest days, and how to help themselves maintain them, what thoughts went through their heads, etc etc...

 

[Jen]

Hey Jods goldfish memory hey?
At least goldfish have a 3 second memory! Men well??:wink:

 

[Jen]

Hi Anthony I see that subtle improvment occasionally. I think my problem is I get a bit excited when he is a good mood I cant afford to do that because I am then disappointed when I realise it was only a temporary change in his behaviour I know baby steps.
He was upset last night as he put a bid on Ebay for a car part back in October it was only $12 and he won the bid so they were chasing him for money. He cannot remember doing it!! I am going to really have to watch what he is doing!
Jen

 

[jods]

Hi Jen
I know what you mean about a "good" day. I keep on thinking to myself, great he's going good.Then when he goes back down I have to remind myself that he is just "putting on his public face". I still forget that even though my life goes on he's still kind of trapped in his healing cycle.
Ebay-LOL! That's my hubby's new thing at the moment too. Lucky for me when he has done a purchase he's managed to get a bargin & remembered doing it!

 

[Jen]

Hi Jods I can understand putting on the 'public face' thats where I think we fall into a false sense of security that they act different around other people. I said to the spouses the other day I feel if we went to a session as a couple it just wouldnt be right as he acts differently when I am around he just cant seem to open up with me. He says that he thinks it would upset me to much to talk about his traumas to me.
Watch that Ebay!! Jen