Urgent Advice!!

[GettingBy]

Hey,
I haven't posted here in a while. I'm mostly a lurker. But today I really need some advice.

I've recently started with a new therapist. I've only had two sessions with her so far but she has already betrayed me!! Last week, I wrote her a letter briefly outlining what happened on the day I was raped. Well, she called me an hour ago telling me that she had reported it to the police (I'm 17 if that matters in any way).

I feel so betrayed! She didn't even tell me beforehand. Just told me afterwards. I don't know if I can trust her now. I'm worried that if I continue working with her, she may report other things that she deems concerning. I really can't handle this.

What should I do? Shall I carry on working with her or should I stop seeing her? Also, will the police investigate what happened even if I don't want them to? (I live in the UK)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Unfortunately, in many countries, therapists, etc are mandatory reporters, especially for those who are underage. Her hands may have been tied on the matter since you wrote her a letter. That is, she could lose her job and credentials if she didn't report what happened to you. It is the government's way of protecting children and those who are underage.

I don't think she went about it in the right way though. She should have notified you about her obligation to report and included you in the process. My therapist was adamant about shutting me up about my abuse before it had been reported as she KNEW that if I said too much, she had to report it whether or not I was OK with it. Her hands were legally tied on the matter, so it wasn't her doing in the least. She was trying to protect me.

Can you contact your therapist to talk this through?

 

[GettingBy]

Can you contact your therapist to talk this through?

Thanks for replying so quickly! I'm meeting her first thing tomorrow morning so she can tell me exactly what happened when the police arrived.

I feel like I cannot trust her now though. When I start to work through trauma with her, I know that I'll limit what I say due to this. Do you think there's any point on continuing?

 

[Lucycat]

In the UK there are laws about reporting a crime. Things your therapist has to consider are whether you are still a 'child' who needs protection under child protection legislation or a 'vulnerable adult' - also in need of protection. If she considered that neither of these applied to you, she still needed to consider whether you had given details that showed other young people are still at risk of the perpetrator. Whether or not the Police investigate will depend on many things - such as whether the perpetrator has already been reported by others etc. If you do not know who raped you, then they have nothing to investigate if you do not wish them to proceed. Sometimes they simply keep this information 'on file' in case it is required at a later date.

The policies of most establishments ( certainly in the NHS) are that unless it is a real emergency they should discuss with you the fact that they are going to report it before they do so. Clearly she didn't, but that could be for all sorts of reasons.

I understand your feeling of betrayal. The therapist should have explained to you that there are some things they are legally obliged to share before you ever got to this point.

In my opinion your best recourse here is to discuss with the therapist about why she had to report it and what happens next. It is possible to still work with her - after all you have already done the really hard part of sharing with her.

 

[GettingBy]

I understand your feeling of betrayal. The therapist should have explained to you that there are some things they are legally obliged to share before you ever got to this point.

My last therapist started our first ever session by telling me that. I shared pretty much the same thing with her but she never reported it.

 

[Strongeras1]

I am in law enforcement maybe I can help..Well let first start by saying before you before you get upset with your therapist understand their are reporting laws and requirements for rape and sexual assault specifically for minors under the age of 18..and yes even for therapists. Now being that your from a different country than me.. I am not familiar with your laws. But Even here in the u.s. Laws defining statutory rape differ from state to state and depending on the age of both parties at the time of the incident and what is considered the age of consent all of these factors play into it. My suggestion to you would be educate your self first on the reporting laws for minors of rape and sexual assault and then speak to your therapist about it. if you find she was incompetent in keeping patient Confidentiality then it may be time to find a new therapist.

Good luck
God bless

 

[Lucycat]

My last therapist started our first ever session by telling me that.

So you did know there are some things that needed to be shared. Clearly you had not fully understood the implications of this, and the first therapist was negligent in ignoring it. I know you say you are 17 now, but you have not shared the age at which it happened or whether that person is still in your life. Of course you don't have to tell us anything you are not comfortable with, but they are all important in the context of the Therapists obligations.

 

[GettingBy]

I know you say you are 17 now, but you have not shared the age at which it happened or whether that person is still in your life. Of course you don't have to tell us anything you are not comfortable with, but they are all important in the context of the Therapists obligations.

It happened last year so I was 16. I didn't know him and I haven't seen him since.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So the good news is that since you don't know him and haven't seen him since, that there really is no further direction to go in the reporting process. (I say this as you are wanting confidentiality at this point and don't want to report.....I hope this makes sense!) I am guessing that your therapist thought it was important to report it right away because you are a minor. Honestly, if you don't know your rapist and you haven't seen him since, the investigation will likely go nowhere beyond possibly the authorities contacting you to ensure that this person is no longer in your life or poses a threat to you. The cops aren't going to press you to go forward in a case like this.

 

[PTSDbegone]

First off I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I really admire the strength you have. You are reaching out for help and that takes so much courage!

Secondly the therapist should have gone over their policies surrounding confidentiality before you started seeing them. I have seen many, and that's something we have always discussed in our first meeting. There have been times when they have emailed me their information as well. I often have had to sign something saying I understand. I wonder if you confided in the therapist before they had a chance to go into these details? That's beside the point though. They should have discussed this with you before reporting it to the police. They may have felt like they had no choice considering your age. I can't talk on their behalf. Just know that you are not alone. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever need someone to talk to. Give the therapist a chance to explain things to you. Their main concern will be your safety. I know if may not seem like that right now, but that is always their main priority.

 

[Senecia]

Your T is still someone to trust. Though like the others said, because you're a minor and there was a crime it's not too surprising they had to report it. By law it's just what she had to do. At the beginning of my first session my T said that I can tell her anything at all, but if something poses a big concern to my safety and the safety of others, it's required she contact help. That's in the US. Its probably different in Britain.

 

[Strongeras1]

Correct. Its really not that uncommon.. I've had similar cases where We've Already had to subpoena therapists to testify in court. does it defy patient confidentiality... Maybe so..but when it comes down to it doesn't matter what I think. The Law is the law. And when someone's safety is in jeopardy that's when we must intervene.