Using music/ TV/ etc as a distraction from trauma/ flashbacks/ etc ?

[Ecdysis]

Not sure if this is in the right section, but I guess it is a kind of avoidance...

I find that if I used things like music or TV or books or whatever... I can sort of "drown out" the constant trauma memories and negative core beliefs and harsh comments from inner critic, etc...

As long as there's another narrative going on, other than my old internal trauma narrative, I find i do okay emotionally.

Is it bad to use that as a crutch?

Should I find some "better" way, in therapy?

Sometimes, I find using music/ TV/ books/ etc will help keep my mood normal, for hours on end...

But then eventually I do get sort of antsy cos it feels... I dunno... not "fake" exactly... but I sort of start feeling the disconnect between these external narratives I'm using as a crutch and the actual, authentic inner narrative... That difference can start to feel weird, after a while...

I dunno if it's a healthy, sane, useful adaptive coping mechanism, or a maladaptive, avoidant coping mechanism?

Either way, I assume it's quite a common one, that people turn to...

I feel unsure tho, of whether I should lean into it and embrace it, or to only use it as a crutch when absolutely necessary/ as little as possible?

Or maybe it is kinda maladaptive, but a) better than other crutches/ addictions/ whatever and b) better than white-knuckling it without any crutches as a help...?

 

[arfie]

musical instruments, including voice, are a formal therapy tool in my own case. listening is far to passive to serve as a channel in my own case, but making music is the most direct channel i have found for channeling the emotions attached to those intrusive thoughts. often, i choose songs which give a nanny-nanny-boo-boo to the inner critics, etc. singing/humming also doubles as breathing exercise. in actual fact, i learned more about breathing techniques in singing lessons than any therapist i've ever worked with.

tv and reading are simple distraction, but i have had more than one therapist who approved of distraction as a viable therapy tool, in balanced doses. both beat the unholies out of arguing with the puppets in my head.

 

[enough]

totally buy into positive distraction as being valuable. One of the classic self test depression assessment questions: Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy doing?
Well, yeah. But i found something else asap so as not to ruminate.
I have cycled through so many activities I couldnt count them all, seriously. Reading. Music. Documentaries. Fishing. Photography. Travel. Competitive shooting. Electronics. Luthery. And just plain staying busy putzing around the yard.
Probably kept me sane if this is sane. Beats the alternative.

 

[shimmerz]

TV triggers me and also throws me into dissociation so that isn't an option for me. I find what is best for me (I go into freeze response) is to get moving my body. I try to play pickleball, go for walks, etc. I made a deal with myself through my healing that I would prioritize what is best for my body every day. My mind gets enough of a workout with flashbacks, memories, overthinking etc.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I use music but I am careful to not over use it. I am also careful to not play things that amp me up and make the anxiety worse. I also ask friends for music recommendations as something new to me is always interesting.

 

[Friday]

I feel unsure tho, of whether I should lean into it and embrace it, or to only use it as a crutch when absolutely necessary/ as little as possible?

Maybe something a little less all-or-nothing / black&white ???

IE ANY coping mechanism is only one tool in your tool belt. And a very useful one. Just don’t let it be the ONLY tool in your tool belt. Add as many as possible so that you can choose both the best one in the moment, and lead the fullest life possible.

 

[Rose White]

I can tell when I’m really triggered and stress cup overflowing because I play music on full blast in my headphones and it sounds quiet. I need it to scratch my ears. To blast out the fear and anger. It can’t do that but it is like a weighted blanket for my brain.

 

[Freida]

Yep I always had the tv on if I was awake. Drove hubby nuts because I didn't really watch it. It was just there to keep that part of my mind I didn't want to look at busy.

The first time I realized I was sitting in a quite room and i was ok with it was a totally surprise! I can't do it all the time but I figure it's a baby step I get to count if I can do it for even an hour.

 

[mightymelissamouse]

Not sure if this is in the right section, but I guess it is a kind of avoidance...

I find that if I used things like music or TV or books or whatever... I can sort of "drown out" the constant trauma memories and negative core beliefs and harsh comments from inner critic, etc...

As long as there's another narrative going on, other than my old internal trauma narrative, I find i do okay emotionally.

Is it bad to use that as a crutch?

Should I find some "better" way, in therapy?

Sometimes, I find using music/ TV/ books/ etc will help keep my mood normal, for hours on end...

But then eventually I do get sort of antsy cos it feels... I dunno... not "fake" exactly... but I sort of start feeling the disconnect between these external narratives I'm using as a crutch and the actual, authentic inner narrative... That difference can start to feel weird, after a while...

I dunno if it's a healthy, sane, useful adaptive coping mechanism, or a maladaptive, avoidant coping mechanism?

Either way, I assume it's quite a common one, that people turn to...

I feel unsure tho, of whether I should lean into it and embrace it, or to only use it as a crutch when absolutely necessary/ as little as possible?

Or maybe it is kinda maladaptive, but a) better than other crutches/ addictions/ whatever and b) better than white-knuckling it without any crutches as a help...?

I find myself doing the same thing; endlessly watching various streaming services, ignoring my true emotions. I remember hearing from someone in recovery that she was doing the same thing and needs to stop "muting" or "numbing" her feelings with distractions.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I don’t watch TV, but music I use a lot.

As Friday said, I think there is a lot more in-between positive and negative.

For me, music can be distracting, so that I break rumination. Which is good. It’s also in my “green” list in therapy. My therapist encourages me to have a toolkit of things (especially externally) that light up positive areas of my brain for me. This is not to avoid the scary stuff, but to keep me in my window of tolerance while out there. She wants me to have a little repertoire of sensory glimmers, that I can easily access in the unpredictable world of triggers. So I can ride them out without going/nearing full shut-down, freak-out, whatever. That’s the idea, goal.

I’m still learning how to understand the difference between avoidance and regulation, in a practical setting. But I think I’m starting to realise which things I’m doing are regulation; keeping me out of the red when amber, or “one foot in green”. Music is definitely a positive grounding method for me.

I also use music to explore/express some of the difficult things in a safe way. That wasn’t the plan but that’s what is happening when I listen to songs that really resonate with my trauma, and/or the tough stuff associated with it. Feeling my feelings, acknowledging the badness and how I feel, but keeping regulated, because I really like the music, and the way it (the topic or emotion at hand) is presented. It’s the one form of being related to that is predominantly safe territory, for me.
She really emphasises acknowledging how I’m feeling, when it’s rough (or better.). I think this stuff helps to do that without slipping down the slope so hard? And the forum in general. I can go to my diary and vent the sensory flashback I’m having, and then steer to something that gets me less “In it”. On a good day, when I don’t “forget” how to do that. Baby steps.


(People who know me very closely know my history of seeking “being seen” in very unsafe and detrimental sources.)