Sufferer Veteran with ptsd, looking for support

[Roy]

@scout86 By all means I'd love to hear that rant. I can't have it myself so if you want to do it for me... I wouldn't complain.

 

[Sighs]

As my old man (combat vet) used to say "Whoever told you life was going to be fair?"

My partner is also a combat vet. He too was given questionable orders. He argued with his CO trying to change the orders. He considered trying to arrest his CO to prevent the orders being carried out. He considered throwing his CO over a 30ft wall or knocking him out cold with a punch to the head. His discipline prevented him doing any of those things. Once the order were given he carried them out. He says it is a constant itch in his head.

Hugs if you accept them.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm under orders.

Oh damn. But yeah, I get it now...

 

[Esterio]

When I say I can't bring myself to talk about the event, I mean to the other people who were there. Otherwise, when I say I can't talk about it in detail to anyone, I mean I can't. Part of that is not talking to a therapist. And yeah... I'm sure having to keep it secret has probably messed me up more than it would have otherwise. But what can you do.

That is a tough spot. I believe it to be called between a rock and a hard place. Really hard to process trauma with out talking about it. I think there maybe some therapy that doesn't include talk. I am not sure about that or where I may have heard that. Might be something to look into.
Peace be safe

 

[Freida]

so here's something to put in the back of your mind for later --- dig up a therapist with the appropriate clearance. Yep - probably a huge challenge, but something to keep an eye out for. And - EMDR does't require talking. It can be done without you saying a word. yea it's harder that way - but it can be done. And when it works the memory remains but the pain goes away

For me the best thing about this site is the anonymity. I say shit here I would NEVER say to normal people. I can keep my secrets and still get the support and input from others. It's kind of a win win

And oh yea -- that whole "carry this with you till you die, never say a word and if it kills you no one cares " crap is utter boollshit!!!! I'll rant for you because who the hell tells their people to do that shit?! You think they are the people in charge, the people who have the answers, the ones you can count on. And then you find out that they are monsters who drag you into their nightmare. It's unfair and cruel and totally f**cked up and the only thing you can hope is there is a special place waiting for them in hell. For THEM. Not you. You do the things you need to do to stay alive. And it sucks. But it's not you. It's THEM. The monster that crossed your path.

yea, yea, I know...hard to believe. I can type that crap and still have a hard time believing it applies to me. But --stick around here long enough and these guys will start making you second guess all you think of as true. Because they are in just as much pain as we are -- and they have found a place where they can let that out and maybe, just maybe, find out that it is normal. At least in this world. And we get better together. Because we are all escaping our own monsters....

 

[scout86]

who the hell tells their people to do that shit?!

Honestly, the first answer to that question that comes to my mind is "someone who's trying to hide something to save their own skin." There are legitimate security concerns, and then there cover ups. They can look a lot alike.