Ah and there it is. Truth is, you’re not really mad at your sister. I mean maybe that primal part right? That angry young girl INSIDE that thinks everything is dirty now. But in reality you know, sitting there as an adult that she was not ok and that it’s neither you or your sister’s fault.
If someone had found out? Had you or your sister spoken up? You’d have both gotten help. Therapy. Healing.
Now as an adult you need to work on your own healing. You need to find that angry hurt spot and figure out how to put balm on it, treat it and let it scar over so you aren’t angry forever.
Honestly @imdoneone its time to go talk to someone and figure out how to make you feel better. Get some guidance on next best steps. It’s not time to worry about your sister or your mom or her kids or anyone else. Focus on healing you. The rest will hold.
@imdoneone - What are you hoping to gain from this thread?
You have been given really great advice from fellow survivors of abuse, including some who have survived abuse at the hands of women.
Female family members can be abusers. There are quite a few members here who have survived abuse by women. It's terrible. Sometimes society is more reluctant to believe women can abuse, but it's quite real.
Child on child sexual abuse gets especially complicated. The adults in your lives should have intervened to help both of you. There is a good chance your sister was acting out abuse she suffered.
As for justice, prosecuting abuse decades later is difficult. It doesn't make what happened ok at all. Not one bit. You have a right to be angry about what happened to you and the reluctance of society to believe women can abuse.
The decision to report or not is a personal one. Some people do report, others do not. There are a variety of reasons people do not report. It does not make your pain less or reduce your right to report the abuse if you choose.
I reported one of my abusers and it was re-traumatizing. I wished I had gotten help from the get go to walk with me through the reporting experience.
If you are seeking advice about reporting abuse as your original report suggest, I strongly suggest connecting with this resource:
RAINN can connect you to advocates in your area that can help walk through the pros and cons of reporting and next steps. They often have local advocates that can go with someone to file the report, navigate the court process, etc. They also can connect you to free or low cost support groups and counseling in your area in the US.