General Water On The Floor - Exploded In Anger - Need To Vent

[Kay1]

I love my hubby dearly and will stand by him through thick and thin and the road we are traveling to recovery for PTSD but geez I can't believe what triggers anger sometimes.

Our girls were swimming yesterday and came in to dry off and of course there was a puddle of water on the floor just like always and it always gets cleaned up. My Army man just exploded on everyone to clean up the water....he rarely yells at the girls...they of course are standing there in stunned silence with tears running down their faces. I quickly told them to go upstairs and get dressed, I then yelled at my man...which I rarely to....that he needed to go outside and chill and take 5 minutes. This set off a rant of yelling at me about what a wench I am that all I do is treat him like a child and talk about how he needs to deal with his PTSD and then he proceeded to punch a hole in the wall.

At this point I walked away and went to deal with the girls and calm them all down. This is the worst he has been with PTSD and I am afraid that he is ready for a break or the bottoming out as they call it and drastic intervention is going to be needed.

Thanks for listening to me vent and and suggestions would be appreciated on the next steps I should take with this!

 

[wife of]

Hi Kay,well you've landed in the right place here hunny,All of us are either seeing this from your hubbies side of the curtain or from the suppoerters side,vent away and read,read,read and then ask,ask,ask. There will always be a ready supply of oppinion and practical suggestions coming from both sides.I'm a bit short on suggestions just now as my brain is a bit fugged,I'm a fellow supporter and a bit caught up in enabling my hubby on his path to recovery ,at the moment we are having good days mixed with days where its like nailing jelly to a tree.....but I'm sure someone with a clear head will be along soon.....Sue.

 

[Fargo1]

Kay,

First of all you have to protect yourself and the girls (mentally and physically). Don't let him go to that level and get away with it. PTSD is not an excuse for shitty behavior. Let him know that you won't stand for that shit!

Second, if you feel like you can, you should sit down with him when he is calm, and discuss what happened the other day and try to get him to see that he needs to see someone about this. He is going to bitch, holler, shut down, dismiss, pushaw, poopoo, say he doesn't have a problem. All of it. But you have to do it. Also, point him at this site. Have him read it. Perhaps, as you read through it bookmark some of the more poignant posts for him (so that he doesn't have to read for hours and hours). Then, maybe, just maybe he might start trying to do something about it.

My two cent at the moment.

Fargo

 

[Mockingbird13]

The challenge that I had in situations such as this is that yes I would bring it up - in a calm matter, but it just never seemed like he really understood, or maybe he couldnt deal with it which then would frustrate me because I more than likely would have gotten a better response from a jar of peanut butter. -

But when the kids began to be more and more afraid of being around him then I knew things had to change.

 

[Kay1]

I have talked to him about and as you all have said he bitches, hollers and shuts down. He has agreed to go to the VET center and I am hoping this will help some, but I am so frustrated at this point.....which I know you have all been trhough and this is a wonderful place to vent.

Our relationship at this point is as everyone has said that I have to protect my girls and myself which I am doing. I have given my girls a plan that if things get bad and I say to get out of the house they are to go to the nieghbors and call 911, we have gone over this plan alot in the last week since the yelling has increased. I have told him that things need to change and I think he is starting to see that I tell him to remain calm and I have take all my emotion out of everything.

Our 6 year old is border line autistic which I am dealing with her the same way I am dealing with him, which is to take all the emtion out of it and deal in a calm and safe matter. I am just really tired at this point and yes I do have support, but I just need a me moment.

My other venting point is that at bedtime after I have my 6 year old calm lately he finds something to pick on her about like leaving toys out or something and then riles her up which starts a temper tantrum and then I have to calm her back down and tell him to walk away and then he gets upset and says "See I can't do anything right". I know that this is part of the blame game so that I will make it look like I am picking on him.

Anyhoo, just really frustrated at this point and thanks everyone for listening!!