What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[ninja]

Honestly. Really ready for this week to end.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hopelessness, regret, dread, fear, aloneness, emptiness, and confirmation of all of the above.

Tbh, a pity party of being tired of doing other people's jobs, caring for other people's loved ones, praying for other people's needs, and having no one and nothing myself. But in truth, I can't wait for this to be over. But even then, I can't imagine anywhere after I'd belong, either. Why I exist, and have to, is beyond me.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Neutral trying to take good care of myself. I'm feeling okay, listening to music poolside. I'm going to swim/float for the next hour.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

That's a sweet space, for sure, @MrMoonlight .

Anticipation, and then some. The process of getting my late mom's property sold is nearing and the anticipatory anxiety, as well as deep feelings of loss, are trying to take over the thoughts of accomplishing something I felt I wasn't capable of and the gratefulness of what has come of it all.

Visiting mom's rock heart memorial space by the mountain stream helps keep it all in check. Thanks, mom. One more step in the ongoing estate process is almost done. Feeling pretty confident that you'd be proud of how we're handling it. I know you'd love the family who'll be making it their home.

 

[Tinyflame]

dumb
naive
stupid
regret and Why did I ever say anything?
defective
ashamed
sad
gross
Worthless.

 

[Tinyflame]

But, I also feel: responsible, honest, sorry, authentic, resigned, and realistic.

I thought I could be 'normal', I can't. And I can't blame others, for avoiding/ lying, to avoid all my crap/ me.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Holding neutral, trying to stay grounded. Being active...doing...BBQ, beer, 4th of July. Hope everyone is doing well today. :hug:

 

[Teasel]

Goodish, surprisingly present compared to lately, which isn’t all that present actually but I’m looking at it a glass half full.

 

[Tinyflame]

Abandoned.
Weary.
Alone.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm not sure. Bad. Heavy, near tears, heavy.

Like the only thing that would help is if I slept a very long time.

 

[Tinyflame]

I hope you can get some sleep @whiteraven , & will feel better. :(:hug:

I'm not sure? A whole lot- gratitude, incredulity, thankfulness, shame, relief, not sure to pin point?

I do feel that it is wrong of me to paint good people with broad negative/ untrusting strokes. I mean, I wouldn't generalize to everyone, bad or good (for lack of other words), but it's still awful if it hurts someone else, because I am frightened of repeating the past, or the past repeating. And too, I'm not sure but the advice of ~pull myself up by the bootstraps is counter-productive, I think. In so far as that is my default, and not at all always right/ kind/ to myself or others. I think trust and vulnerability etc will always involve risk, and kind of opposite of pulling myself up. And it's still up to me to be responsible for myself of course, but not blindly causing other's hurt, my pain causing other's pain. So I think I'll try harder, to try less hard to protect myself, if warranted.

But Idk what the emotions are for all that ^^ (in words)? :confused: . Forgiven and forgiving, peaceful, trusting and trustworthy, grateful, shameful-but-not-useful-to-go-there-for-what-it-causes-and-not-useful-or-necessary (who would believe?? :notworthy: ), thankful, would be some.

 

[Tinyflame]

^^ I think the word is 'Blessed'. ?