Feeling like all my strength is being sucked away, like heads been smashed in with a hammer, like have huge weight on my chest, like breathing is a punishment and every inch of my body is being tortured. Burning up and freezing at same time, coughing and choking, feelings like im being suffocated, dizzy, cant move. Not sure if I feel this way cause remembering or cause i'm poorly. Feels like i am fighting a losing battle and have Jake with me nattering about himself so feeling guilty that i dont know how to help him and have no energy. Feeling frustrated cause i keep typing wrong letters, shame, guilt. tired, dirty, sick, upset, frightend...list goes on. Cant get HIM out my head :(.