What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Trembling]

If I start thinking -
I feel scared of the moment I have to face my soon to be ex-husband.
Immediately my stomach starts aching.
I feel like someone is strangling me and I cannot breath.
I feel like my tears will start flowing and never stop again,
I feel pain in my chest, my broken heart is still beating and I hope it will heal with time.
I am scared I will never love again or never will be able to love anyone as dearly and honest, as I loved him.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have made a important choice. No matter how bad I feel, I am going to live a happy life finding things to be thankful for.

I am feeling pretty great today. I did alot of journaling last night and realized a whole bunch of things. I feel so much better. I am a firm believer in journaling to get at the root of the situation.

I may have problems but that is a part of life. My husband has so been there for me, so I am going to be cheerful and bright for him. I notice it is making a big difference already. I feel great. I have plans for me today. I will relax and program the dvr when i get back home. I so do not want to watch the news as much as we have been doing. I will find other things to watch. My husband loves the news and I hate it because it is so negative. I will find uplifting things to watch. We may be housebound but it will be more cheerful around here. I will make it so. I love to see my husband smile and he has been smiling alot this morning. I will make it my job to cheer him up.

 

[Cufflinks]

I am feeling happy because my kids are finally home having been away since Boxing Day.

I feel sad because my wife is still planning on leaving and she wants us to tell the kids. I don't want this and I can't lie to the kids and say we've decided.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Sad because one of the techs at work lost his job today. His own doing, but still, it is hard to not feel bad for him. Times are so hard, and it brings back the feelings of being so vulnerable myself. Life changes in a heart beat and it scares me.

 

[Britt.f7]

Worried. My husband lost his second job around Christmas. He was a waiter. He applied the other day at another place, and I know his last job said they would give good references. Goodness knows he has plenty of experience, but I'm worried he won't find a job. He's trying to be positive so I am doing my best not to show my worry. Only on here, only on here.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hugs and prayers for you Britt and yours. I hope the worry settles down. Somehow something will happen and it wil all be ok.

 

[Britt.f7]

Thank you Gizmo. I will try to keep that in mind as it is a positive way to think. I don't want my boys to feel my worry either.

 

[safenow]

I was feeling good earlier, then a stupid trigger got set into play and I've felt sick to my stomach since that time. Not anyone's fault, just one of those things. It's like smelling an aftershave that no one else gets upset about but I do. It activated four senses plus bad memories of the aftermath of the original event.

Sigh. I sent an email to my therapist so we shall see if he can come up with a way for me to fix this one. I sure do hope he can. If I'd had to go out today, I'd be in a world of hurt right now.

 

[safenow]

Hug and prayers Britt.

 

[Violet03]

I am feeling scared, exhausted, and lonely.

I am scared because of how I feel. I have been here before but last time I also attempted suicide. These feelings have been overwhelming me for over a week now.

I am exhausted because I have been having flashbacks again. The emotions they leave me with are draining. They are also some of the most traumatic ones I have had. I am having a hard time accepting them as reality.

I feel lonely because I am in such a bad place that I have been isolating. I feel nobody would understand, I am just a burden, and I don't have the energy to be around people anyway. I feel as if the world around me continues to function while I silently fade away.

 

[safenow]

Violet, one thing to remind yourself is, flashbacks are not current trauma. They are past. I'm telling myself that same thing today. Do some breathing in, slowly and deeply. Hold it a second, the slowly let it out. Do that several times. If you allow them, i'm sending you safe, gentle hugs.

The emotions are real, but the event is past. Bring yourself back to the present and it helps. Do you have grounding techniques you can use? if not, check out the 5-4-3-2-1 game.

 

[Violet03]

Thanks safenow. Yes, I know about grounding techniques. Sometimes I am able to ground myself and sometimes it takes a while.

I am just having a hard time understanding and accepting them. I need to process them in therapy. If I am able to do that I will start feeling better.

I took proactive steps to protect myself today. I drove to my therapist's office and gave her the meds I would use to OD. I didn't trust myself for the entire weekend so I knew it was what I needed to do.

I know this will pass someday but right now it feels as if it will never end. The overwhelming pain engulfs me. There is also confusion, anger, and sadness. I wish I could be numb again but I learned feeling these emotions, although unpleasant, is progress in healing.