What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Ironlady]

Fearful. Depressed. Anxious. This is the first year I have ever been able to keep Christmas. Being raised in a cult taught me to fear for my life and that any wrong move or decision that went against it meant to be punished, cut off, abhorred and that my actions would result in not only potentially my own death but that it would cause harm to come to others. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. Im safe but my body is fearing for its life right now.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I woke up with my spirits lifted and I feel so awesome today. I am refusing to think negative thoughts and focus on everything will be ok. I opened my KK and feel the joy of Christmas for the first time. I hung up the silver, sparkly snowflake on my wall. My only decoration but It feels right. I wish I knew how I woke up feeling so great so I could do it again. Life is just a mystery to me.

 

[Lionheart]

Strong, loving, and relaxed.

I feel I have accomplished a lot, although my writing exercise didn't take me very long, I feel I have done some good work and am growing and changing as a result.

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm sad and hurt. Haven't tried much 'sad' since the long awaited miracle of the right antidepressants. It's different being sad without it rapidly descending into misery and despair. I know it'll pass, the hurt-sad is part of this moment and it will not last forever.

 

[Ronin]

This is the first year I have ever been able to keep Christmas.

This is your Christmas.

Everything you'll do to celebrate them, is good.

There's no way to screw that one up.

Just be alive, and be safe. ;)

 

[Ironlady]

This is your Christmas.

Everything you'll do to celebrate them, is good.

There's no way to screw...

Thank you Cashew, it just makes me sad and angry that here I am a 36 year old woman and the simple act of giving Christmas gifts has me feeling so frightened but Im Refusing to let fear stop me no matter how scared I am. This is me learning how to say no to the abuser and yes to myself. Thank you again. <3

 

[Ronin]

simple act of giving Christmas gifts has me feeling so frightened

No, you're 36 years old victor of everyday struggles.

Of course you're frightened, unfamiliar territory is supposed to be frightening, jumping into it with no consideration ever isn't a sensible thing to do. ;)

 

[Ironlady]

No, you're 36 years old victor of everyday struggles.

Of course you're frightened, unfamiliar territory i...[/QUOTE. Very Good point @Cashew Thank you for that. Truly.

 

[Ronin]

You're welcome.

Also: fear isn't cowardice. Fear is situational awareness in front of a threat with unpredictable factors. Awareness is a good thing.

 

[Ironlady]

@Cashew That reminds me of an image I often have of myself. A knight in armor with only a peep hole the diameter of a pea to look out of. Every time something that is unfamiliar that comes into my path I have to use my shield and discern whether it's a threat or just a distortion of something that isn't a threat at all. It's like Seeing an angry troll.. Is he coming after me and trying to do me in? Do I need to pull out my sword? Or is it just a troll with a really bad toothache wanting to ask me for an Advil. And God help him if he asks for one cause I'm not able to put down my shield or sword.. I can give him directions to the drugstore but that's about it. Lol. I'm trying to be patient with myself. Until the situation passes I don't know which one I'm dealing with.. And I'm trying really hard to learn how to remind myself that its ok.. Thank you for that reminder.

 

[Ronin]

Thank you for that reminder.

Thank you for the troll. :hilarious::) I'll try to not see troll. Unless in Norway, they're certified to be there.

 

[Ironlady]

Thank you for the troll. :hilarious::) I'll try to not see troll. Unless in Norway, they're certified to b...

lol!.. I will be weary of bridges if I ever visit Norway! carry Advil in my pocket like dog treats. Lol :joyful: