What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[anthony]

I am going to put this here, and many women may not like it, but I think I showed control...

I have hit a women once in my life, and only once. Why? We where at the pub on base on Friday afternoon, and this private soldier wanted to sleep with me. She had slept with many of my mates, some of whom where married, and I was married at the time in actual fact. Anyway, I said no and kept drinking with the boys. Anyway, this woman (about 20 I think she was) come over and asked me outright if I would go home with her. I said no, so she slapped me across the face. Told her to pissoff, and she did. About half an hour later, same thing happened. This went on a few times, about 4 if I remember correctly, where she slapped me across the face as hard as she could, just because she was drunk and thought she could get me to sleep with her, as many had done before.

I got the shits with it all, and went outside to phone a cab and take me home. Waiting for the cab, she come outside, asked me if we were leaving now, I said no, I am going home. She punched me in the face this time... enough was enough. I didn't even think, just smacked her in the mouth and knocked her out. She lay on the ground and these other people who saw her there came over, and then it was about to break out into an all in brawl, but another mate came out, and his girlfriend, saw what was going on, saw her laying on the ground, and told these others what had happened all night. They left it at that, so did I. She got picked up and taken home...

She apologised the next day, I didn't. I didn't feel one bit guilty for punching her back after the shit she had done to me that night. Guys are not always the abusers... just made out that way. She provoked me all night, I ended up walking away, she followed and continued. I hit her, she hit the ground. I wasn't sorry, and still to this day not sorry. I gave her ample chances to leave me alone and she was told enough times, but didn't. She played on my nature, when I told her I don't hit women. Well, she got me too... and she didn't enjoy it one bit. To this day, I still don't like her, and she never came near me again after that.

 

[Marlene]

Anthony,

If it's any consolation to you (and this is just my opinion), when a woman hits first, and in your case, repeatedly, then she loses the protection 'being a woman'. I've had conversations with other men about this and the general opinion was if you're going to act like a man (hit first), you're going to be treated like a man.

BTW-I admire your restraint. I wouldn't have lasted through four slaps before I came unglued.

 

[Kells]

Agrees with Marlene.

 

[GR-ass]

She hit you four times, you hit her once. Seems fair.

Would have been upset if you hadn't have been provoked, but heh. If anyone came up and hit me, male or female, I think it's doubtful I'd keep it together after first contact.

Hell, I know I haven't, and it doesn't even have to be more then a shove.

 

[goingonhope]

I am going to put this here, and many women may not like it, but I think I showed control...

I have hit a women once in my life, and only once.

Guys are not always the abusers... just made out that way.

To this day, I still don't like her, and she never came near me again after that.

Anthony, glad you shared this. Effective and makes perfect sense to smack her in the face and knock her out. Not saying this with any sarcasm either, as I'm dead serious. My God, she thought she was going to make you do something you didn't want to do and she physically assaulted you more than once and would have used you, if she had her way. Sick! I personally can't stand this type of sexual harrassment, highly triggered by it.

Sounds to me anthony, like this admission of bad shit belongs on her list, not yours. Call me twisted, but I really don't believe so. You did something I admire, you continued through all her BS to hold yourself in enough regard to protect yourself. And, if she gets slapped in the face, even knocked out in this process, well then good for you and for her. Perhaps, she's a hell'a'va lot less apt to pull the same shit again. You might have influenced, saving her life too. It might have been good luck on her behalf, bc who knows what.

I only wish that I knew in prior yrs. that it was really o.k. to do this. I call it self-preservation at it's best. I was so full of unwarrented guilt, and truly niaeve that I began to think what I thought was my rights were in fact not my rights. I never really made it into the big world, lived much of my life on the outside looking in, alone and isolated.

At times, but only at times, I was the type of person who was without a defense against non-stop sexual harrassment. The limited men I spoke of were members of AA. If my daughter grew up and told me she needed AA, I would seriously influence her not to go. She'd simply have to find another way to find sobriety. Brand new to AA and quite young, I once had an ugly ass' woman during the holding of the hands and prayer part of the meeting, look dead at me, stick her tongue out and move it in disgusting ways and say something disgusting.

Anthony, you having said, Guys are not always the abusers...just made out that way, ......and then sharing what you did, has opened my eyes some to things I just didn't know from my experience, as my experience is limited greatly. Thank you God!

Always wished I could have had an older brother to educate and inform me, step-in for me, and knock the shit out of someone that had it coming, when I didn't know how, male or female. Or, even a mother or sister that wouldn't have said and/or suggested anything other than, "Oh, who the hell do you think you're deluding yourself into imagining that you're worth anything more than us.....an object. Get it, learn it, and them come join us, you're welcome."

Now, I've just opened the doors to further discussion elsewhere.

Anyhow, anthony, you only hit a woman once, and as I see it, it shouldn't even count as once. And, you were effective in self-preservation, good for you and I'm glad she's stayed far away from you.

 

[Marlene]

My boss was out sick today and I was glad he was. I didn't care how bad he felt, I was just glad I didn't have to even see him today. I actually laughed when I found out he wouldn't be there. Part of me feels like I should feel guilty for feeling this way...but I just don't give a damn.

 

[anthony]

Thanks all... I wasn't sure how that would go down really, because some females outright are just so against any male hitting a female. I pretty much am too, and I always said that if its good enough for a female to hit a male, its good enough for them to hit them back; but when I was faced with it, that was a different story. I told my then wife about it when I got home, and she just laughed and said something like, "silly bitch."

The girl actually had just stopped sleeping with a mate of mine, who was married with kids, and thought she would have a crack at me. His priorities where a bit different to mine I guess. I have done pretty poor things to women, being sleeping around on them and so forth, when I was in some of my worst in unknown PTSD, but not before, and not after. Girlfriends are one thing, wives are another I guess!

Anyway... to continue this thread, I stole a blokes car one day, took it joy riding, then down the pine forest and burnt it out.

 

[Nam]

I really don't like this one of mine.....

Had sex in a religious building. Going to hell for sure for that one.

 

[goingonhope]

Using sisters ID to buy liquor at 17 yrs.

Engaging in fantasies of creating shooting scene during high school pep rally, at about 17 yrs.

Having been made aware of friend’s sexual behavior, one to many times, casually making mention of her behavior to a man we had partied with. As much as stating that she might be willing, but that her sister and I were not. (19/20 yrs.)

Driving drunk while behind the wheel of a car. Before 21 yrs. reg. and while on some binges, throughout 20’s.

Packing a butcher’s knife in carry-along bag and bringing it to AA meeting, fantasizing about using it on some real big, tremendous as’hole. (25 yrs.)

Fantasized with a butcher knife to my throat on repeated occurances. (2nd half of 20’s).

Once, putting on a topless show for 1 or 2 young men, involving carefully running a butcher knife around neck, down and around chest…..medicated at this time on benzodiazepines that were not helpful for me. (28 yrs.)

.....this is some crazy shit. It all makes me feel awful. How could I have minimized how very ill I was? I suppose it wouldn't have mattered as I sought help as far back as I can remember, simply didn't qualify ins. wise, and/or was denied proper diagnosis and/or services. The help I did find, always seem to come with a heavy duty price-tag. Whatever...dislike this shit,...it all makes me sick.

 

[anthony]

Oh yer... drunk driving. Did a fair bit of that when younger, and even actually up until about 30 I reckon I still did it once in a blue moon, ie. drive to the shop for milk or something after drinking at home. Haven't done it for atleast 4 years though now, and not planning on ever doing it again either.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Not going to say drunk driving never happened here but it was isolated, I felt in danger, and I had an "escort", I called someone to meet me on one of the back country roads before I hit town to follow incase I hit someone it was them.

My guilt, I tore up my twin's marriage (one of them). She confided in me she had an affair. I was a dumb ass and had to ask "did you at least use a condom?" She had to be honest and said no. I was so torn. But in this day and age of HIV being deadly I could not keep my mouth shut. She met the guy on the net. I called her hubs and told him and told him to get tested. Was a long time for her to get over being pissed about that. That divorce also resulted in my oldest neice finding out that second husband of my twin was not her real dad and that she had been married before. As when it was over with my sis he walked away from my niece. No one saw that coming he raised her from an infant as his own and she was taught that was her dad no ifs, ands, or buts... She went on to find out her real dad was a crack head.

Anthony, I am surprised at the support you got really! I kept it shut for a reason. While I think any woman is stupid putting herself in a man's shoes striking a man, as that is just flat stupid (a lot of men need no reason why give them one?), men are physically the stronger of the two and one strike can do some damage. Being on the recieving end and giving I just can't wrap my mind around it being condoned.

But you also put it under bad shit... Getting guilt out. You have to forgive yourself and move on. We all screw up good. I went after hubs once before diagnosed, I had lost it big time and he said to hit him over and over to let it out. I went on a wailing spree until I wore myself out. I know a guy can take it from a short shit like me as I did not hurt him. Had a man done me like that I would be in a hospital! He loves me and at the time I have no clue what I was thinking. It was rage. I was truly at my worst and he knew I had to go after something. I do feel terrible on taking him up on that offer!

 

[anthony]

Yer, it is not something in my character. I do see a difference though is allowing someone to hit me, opposed to constantly being hit over and over. I didn't actually hit her hard, because I was aware of the damage I could do, but she still ended up on her arse as a result, and I think the fall knocked her more than me hitting her. If I hit her hard, I would most likely be in jail, cause I think she would be dead. I used restraint, even under such a shit situation, that was bad shit in my past.

I guess there are pro's and con's too it... but I did it, and I admit doing it, so yes... hence the thread. It is out, and I actually feel a bit better about it being so.