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What drug could put a person out for an extended period of time?

Thread starter #13
My T tries to help me with uncertainty. There is a particular gap in my memory about a particular thing and I was certain that if only I could remember this particular thing, then I would be able to heal.
But I haven't been able to remember that particular thing. So T has been trying to work with me about what else will help and make me shift from this mindset.
That might help you too? There are so many drugs, you'll just be second guessing.

The drug I used to take, which was known as a date rape drug at the time, was called GHB. Or 'liquid E'. This was in the UK, so it might have been called different things in another country. It was sold over the counter in sex shops at the time as it was meant to make people hallucinate and enhance sex. You would pour it in your drink. I could always taste it and thought it tasted foul, so I found it hard to know how people didn't taste it when their drink was spiked. It totally made me loose all sense of reality. It was seen as a dangerous drug becuase it made people have loss of consciousness and people died from it. It was easy to overdose on it. It would make my heart race like mad and then I would be hallucinating as much as I did on acid. It was like a combination of acid and ecstasy, is how I described it. A club I went to, that was known for drug taking (mear fact the club opened at 4am and went on to 2pm explains that....), Always had signs up that you would be chucked out if you took that drug becuase of what it did.
That is just one example of many drugs that change reality, put people out, make people loose control of their body etc etc etc.

I really think your answer lies elsewhere to make peace with this. Living with the not knowing what drug it was.
I disagree! This isn’t “obsession” it is an “intrusive thought” meaning it is a thought in my head trying to come up! In my experience these types of intrusive thoughts are memories trying to emerge. I will give you an example. 1 year ago I kept saying “I know my Gm was involved! I know it!” This went on for 6-8 weeks again and again and again - I THINK that it was the memory trying to “surface” BUT before that could happen it (Aka my mind) had to introduce the idea into my head first! Sort of like “changing my reality very very slowly”...When I could finally cope with this painful memory - since I utterly adored my Gm! To me she was the only good member of my family!! I saw that she was involved! I had 6-8 weeks of pain to introduce the idea into my life so that when I finally Remeber it wasn’t as painful.
^I think you need to exercise caution with your search for answers in terms of this one aspect of your trauma. There's no way you can now determine what caused you to be in the state you believe you were in unless someone knows and tells you. Nor, unless you saw them, who may have been present whilst you were unconscious.

Having a deep suspicion about something isn't proof or certainty.
I had a flash my gf is kneeling near the bottom bunk bed and covering the persons face with a rag which made me believe it was turpentine. I appreciate your concern thank you! Thank u all!!
 
#15
This isn’t “obsession” it is an “intrusive thought” meaning it is a thought in my head trying to come up! In my experience these types of intrusive thoughts are memories trying to emerge.
^Well this is a new one on me and personally? It sounds like rubbish.

You're trying to justify your intrusive thoughts now? Is that what you mean?

Intrusive thoughts are exactly that. Unwanted, unneeded and a problem to be addressed. Not some kind of pre-thought, thought (huh?) phenomena whose function is to soften the blow of a uncomfortable truth or trauma.

Perhaps you're using the wrong words and they're not intrusive.. maybe a welcome thought or epiphany may be more accurate? idk.. But please also be aware these are quite rare too.
 
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Thread starter #16
^Well this is a new one on me and personally? It sounds like rubbish.

You're trying to justify your intrusive thoughts now? Is that what you mean?

Intrusive thoughts are exactly that. Unwanted, unneeded and a problem to be addressed. Not some kind of pre-thought, thought (huh?) phenomena whose function is to soften the blow of a uncomfortable truth or trauma.

Perhaps you're using the wrong words and they're not intrusive.. maybe a welcome thought or epiphany may be more accurate? idk.. But please also be aware these are quite rare too.
According to what I’ve read an intrusive thought is an “unwanted thought that you can’t get out of your head”. What do you mean, “a problem to be addressed?”
My thoughts (for example) fly into my head about a particular ex-bf I had 34 years ago along with the humiliation and shame associated with his treatment of me. And nothing I do will stop them from revealing themselves to me!

Ah, ok I misunderstood. (I wasn't saying it was obsession, just learning to live without answers). But I totally understand the new memory introducing itself to you.
Whatever it is, hope it helps you heal.
Thank you! Any positive word of encouragement is appreciated!

My T tries to help me with uncertainty. There is a particular gap in my memory about a particular thing and I was certain that if only I could remember this particular thing, then I would be able to heal.
But I haven't been able to remember that particular thing. So T has been trying to work with me about what else will help and make me shift from this mindset.
yes I think I understand what you mean but getting stuck in a hope is normal. (Ie if I could only remeber “this” I’ll heal and be ok”) I’ve spent “years” “stuck” I think of it as a “pause” button on my recovery because I just can’t handle what the flashback would reveal. What I can tell you about my experience is this:
The traumatic event occurred as all kid events do: sort of like a “movie” with visual and sound and “real life” like “touch” and “taste”...at first my flashback would start as a “Polaroid” picture. As the years ticked by the flashbacks would become THE actual “movie” it was from beginning to end. One particular flashback had large spots of “blackout” which over time seems to “open up”. I believe that if you can’t Remeber what is going on in a flashback relax. For myself it seems to be a “hint” or a “foreshadowing” of what information my mind will bring up (or is trying to bring up) about the actual trauma. I think it is sort of like “tempering” in cooking. You introduce a beaten egg into hot milk to create a custard a little at a time so that you don’t have milky scrambled eggs! Your pshyche is trying to prepare you for what is coming in soft sweet hints lasting “a millionth of a second” - in the beginning “amnesia” will be very frequent. As in, “oh yes how did I forget that” THEN TOTAL AMNESIA. This will happen again and again and again until finally you will remeber “one detail about the memory” - my grandfather (for example). At this stage you are “aware” of at least a piece of the puzzle. Over time your flashback will increase the detail that you “retain” gradually increasing “duration” and then “duration plus content”. Your mind wants you to SURVIVE and get better!! So it doesn’t want to overwhelm you. Tiny bits of information bits and pieces at a time. I have given up trying to focus on the flashback because that didn’t work! What has worked is: kicking rotten people out of my life one by one, not abusing lily self, getting enough sleep, learning to say no. Based upon my experience you can not fool your “central nervous system”. You want to remeber clean up your act a bit? Instead of smoking 100 cigarettes per day cut it down to 80!! For myself, I woke up one morning to pee and I heard a voice (presence of some sort) run through my head that said: focus on your body and listen to what is inside of your mind...yup! True story!
 
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#17
understand what you mean but getting stuck in a hope is normal.
Yeah, I'm sure it is. But it's the 'stuck' part that hurts. And for me, I had to reframe the whole thing.
My memory hasn't come back about the particular thing I wanted to remember (it's been 27 years since the event, and 18 years since the memory originally surfaced, so I got to accept the memory as it is). I placed all the validation that this event happened on being able to remember that precise little bit of information that I couldn't remember.
So I had to re-frame. And accept that I may never remember and I need to believe my memory and experience and validate myself.
So if your memory of this issue doesn't make it's way out to your consciousness, how will you make peace with it so that you don't get stuck in the hope that you will remember?
 
#18
What do you mean, “a problem to be addressed?”
^It means there are things you can do to manage these intrusive thoughts.

And nothing I do will stop them from revealing themselves to me!
^Maybe for you but honestly if you capitulate on this then of course it will not get better. Exploring how to manage and modify your thinking around these thoughts will help.

If you give up and declare them unstoppable they probably won't stop.
 
Thread starter #19
Yeah, I'm sure it is. But it's the 'stuck' part that hurts. And for me, I had to reframe the whole thing.
My memory hasn't come back about the particular thing I wanted to remember (it's been 27 years since the event, and 18 years since the memory originally surfaced, so I got to accept the memory as it is). I placed all the validation that this event happened on being able to remember that precise little bit of information that I couldn't remember.
So I had to re-frame. And accept that I may never remember and I need to believe my memory and experience and validate myself.
So if your memory of this issue doesn't make it's way out to your consciousness, how will you make peace with it so that you don't get stuck in the hope that you will remember?
Well this is what I have been tryin
My memory hasn't come back about the particular thing I wanted to remember
It will. If you want it to. I was very stuck in half flashbacks and when I tossed out all of the people who brought me down and made me unhappy things started to “unfreeze”.

I read about 10 books written by survivors and all of them said their mom was involved. I had this huge negative feeling of hate for these woman and one day I spontaneously Remembered: so was mine!

I did all the right things - and it all seemed to fit.
First, I stopped drinking at night.
Fair enough.
Second, I stopped taking ambien quite accidentally. I had to go on vacation and couldn’t refill it. When I got back I said: wow I am ok w/o it.
Then I quit my shitty job and got a bee job where the lady treated me like gold and it was like the floodgates opened up!!
stuck for 35 years then suddenly the gates opened up!!
the choice is yours’
Please dont take my advice! For me, it was like a voice inside was guiding me.

I look back on my life and I see why I had such rotten friends - they kept all of the bad shit down!! And I needed to keep that shit down because it was beyond horrifying.

The last 2 1/2 years have been sad and yet I feel so better. I have a diary here called “the process”. It isn’t very organized but it is honest!!
don’t give up on yourself.
for myself I had to accept that my entire family helped my gf molest me!! Yup! And my gf “friends”...pretty awful stuff but somehow it is “freeing”...
the chains that keep you stuck aren’t a curse they are a blessing. My advice read books especially jane Rowan book “the River of forgetting”. When she said her mother knew I wanted to kill her mom! It took me months to accept that the reason for my negative reaction was bc my Gm and mom knew.
you have the key.
 
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