Bubbles215
Bronze Member
Hey all :-)
It's been a little while since I posted here but I've been dipping in and out of the forums.
So a few weeks back I posted I was walking away and @Casey_03 rightly pointed out I really didn't seem at that point when I was still putting 'my' vet's needs ahead of mine....@casey_03 how right you were :-).
What the past few weeks has taught me is what looking after yourself actually means and that for me meant I finally needed to confront my past. I will be the first to admit I haven't handled his isolation from me well - pretty dreadfully in fact. I was in 2 long term domestic abuse relationships and for me silence = punishment = anxiety overload which in turn 'made' me return to a bad place in the past, I didn't really help the situation with him but equally I had buried the damage caused by those relationships. So, I bit the bullet and talked to a domestic abuse worker and explained the situation...she in turn made me realise I'm not going mad - everything was so mixed up in my head. I'm now working through a programme - I'm damned if my abusive ex's (not vet) will get one more day of my life. That is the good that has come out of this situation :-). I hope one day I can explain this to him.
Do I still love him? Yes. Do I want him here? Of course. I do miss him every day but by taking a step back I'm not taking things as personally....finally. He said he was going to call Saturday, nothing, said it would be Sunday - still nothing but I'm OK, I'm here reading my book helping to heal myself. He's got really into Facebook and yes it does smart a bit when I see the normal life he's portraying on there but it also made me realise he does that to portray it to others, very few get to see the real vulnerable, hurting, scared him. His stuff is still here, he hasn't cut ties totally and who knows what the future will hold but for now I'm having some me time :-).
Thank you all again for the invaluable advice you've given me and countless others :-).
It's been a little while since I posted here but I've been dipping in and out of the forums.
So a few weeks back I posted I was walking away and @Casey_03 rightly pointed out I really didn't seem at that point when I was still putting 'my' vet's needs ahead of mine....@casey_03 how right you were :-).
What the past few weeks has taught me is what looking after yourself actually means and that for me meant I finally needed to confront my past. I will be the first to admit I haven't handled his isolation from me well - pretty dreadfully in fact. I was in 2 long term domestic abuse relationships and for me silence = punishment = anxiety overload which in turn 'made' me return to a bad place in the past, I didn't really help the situation with him but equally I had buried the damage caused by those relationships. So, I bit the bullet and talked to a domestic abuse worker and explained the situation...she in turn made me realise I'm not going mad - everything was so mixed up in my head. I'm now working through a programme - I'm damned if my abusive ex's (not vet) will get one more day of my life. That is the good that has come out of this situation :-). I hope one day I can explain this to him.
Do I still love him? Yes. Do I want him here? Of course. I do miss him every day but by taking a step back I'm not taking things as personally....finally. He said he was going to call Saturday, nothing, said it would be Sunday - still nothing but I'm OK, I'm here reading my book helping to heal myself. He's got really into Facebook and yes it does smart a bit when I see the normal life he's portraying on there but it also made me realise he does that to portray it to others, very few get to see the real vulnerable, hurting, scared him. His stuff is still here, he hasn't cut ties totally and who knows what the future will hold but for now I'm having some me time :-).
Thank you all again for the invaluable advice you've given me and countless others :-).
