Relationship What The Heck Do I Do Now?

[Barconian]

Okay this is what I would say in this situation. Don't get back together because now it feels good. Get back together because you are ready to deal with it when it gets bad again. If you are not ready to deal with it when it gets bad again then I would really question the motives for wanting to get back into the relationship.

I thought you were 'smart' wolfkitty!

If you like the person enough, then it comes down to how strong and encouraging you are, when the bad times do come.

 

[DMerish]

Many, many people "aren't ready" until you walk away. Some people "can't change" until up against the wall. And some people never truely consider their options.

Consider your options first, KyGirl, and let the best option for you direct and motivate the way you want to live and be treated.

 

[wolfkitty]

I thought you were 'smart' wolfkitty!

Barconian, I would appreciate it if you would contain your quips towards me. I don't know you and you don't know me. Whether or not my post sounded 'smart' or not it is how I feel.

I would not want anyone to be with me who could not handle me when I wasn't being "perfect" and that is all I was trying to express. The man for me is one who goes into the relationship aware of all my mess and chooses to be with me because of everything and not just the "good" parts.

I have a whole team of people that are working with me, so I am not using this as an excuse to not get better. However, healing is journey and I know for myself that I go through cycles.

I would question the motives of a man who wanted to be with me only when I was good. Part of this has to do with my trauma. My mother would attempt to kill me if I was not "perfect".

She didn't even try punishment first, it was attempted capital punishment even if I laughed too loud. I say attempted because I am still here!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

This is long distance, right?

I say walk away.

 

[KyGirl31]

Yes long distance right, you are correct! That is honestly the main reason it's so hard to try again. PTSD + long distance = nothing but confusion, pain and more tears I'm afraid. I can handle the PTSD, I really can cause he's worth it to me but the distance + that just seems impossible.

 

[nursenurse]

Rock. Hard place. Distance. My inclination as an outsider would be to let it go. It seems he is trying, and I commend hime for that. hopefully he has done it for himself.Distance can make everyone seem wonderful, until the day to day nonsense comes to pass. you will be your best ally. Don't jump too fast, if you want him in your life, now that he has spent a year bettering himself, he can spend a year proving to you that he intends to maintain it for himself.