When Should We Get Married?

[cookinggal]

As time goes by I've increasingly felt like I need to be ready to get married, I just know hes the right one for me and I know he knows I'm right for him. He hasn't asked yet hes a pretty shy guy sometimes which I do understand. I feel though like I'm so sexually attracted to him it drives me crazy sometimes. I really don't want to go back on my promise to myself about not having sex before were married. Given we do play around but any adult couple does before their married particularly if both know their the right person for each other. I don't know when we should get married. We are trying to earn the money for it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am a bit confused by the thread title question. And I am wondering, does what your feeling tie into your PTSD or is this a more general topic? PTSD is not mentioned in your post.

 

[cookinggal]

PTSD although not directly mentioned I think has something to do with my feelings about not having sex right now. I am attracted to him in that way but I'm afraid to physically do anything, I think that is from the sexual assault. I'm nervous to think about him with his shirt off, and i hate to do that because he is very attractive. The only thing holding me back from touching anywhere near his "Package of man-hood" is my PTSD makes me worry he will freak out at this new showing of how much I love him. And my Big question is can he handle my slow start to showing my feelings because of the PTSD.

 

[saffy]

Hi Cookinggal

I think you are doing the right thing to wait so that you do not compromise your integrity. Your boundaries are tied to your belief in marriage before sex.

If you are saving to get married he must have it in mind. Can I ask, How long have you been together? Has he been happy to wait so far?

You sound like you need the security of marriage and a solid commitment from this guy to feel secure enough to go forward in an intimate way. There is nothing wrong with that at all. :)

He should respect your wishes to take as much time as you wish. Your hormones might be raging, he sounds lovely :) But there is other ways to show you are attracted to him without compromising yourself. YOu can always give him compliments, men love that.

I assume he knows about your wishes? just thought about that. If he is shy he might be thinking the same as you in relation to finding you attractive but cannot do anything about it ;) He sounds like he respects your boundaries. :)

Enjoy him but on your terms ;)

best wishes
Saffy :)