When Were You Able To Write About It?

[Grace11]

I've been impressed and amazed by the trauma diaries on this forum. I kept wondering how many of you were able to write about it in a coherent manner. I started trying for the first time last night. I don't know why I did, it wasn't planned, I just felt like writing and it started pouring out. It felt like my head turned to mush - I put so much into one tiny part of it and felt exhausted and saved it and left. I know we all have different experiences and different coping mechanisms, so I am just curious as to how long it took you to be able to tell your story in writing. I've talked about these things. It is strange to me, because normally I write before I talk when it comes to serious subjects, yet I find it hard to condense all of my feelings into anything readable (i.e., it would probably be hundreds of pages at this point, and would jump from one topic to another).

 

[No Folded Hands]

Hmmm, I never tried. That is, until I was advised to go talk to a VSO --veterans services officer, someone who helps veterans navigate the system-- by other veterans. One of the things he asked me to do was to write an account of my stressors, and when I sat down to try, I found I couldn't. A real surprise to someone for whom writing is not that difficult. It took me eight months to write that letter, and that --so I am told-- is actually a fairly short time for that sort of letter.

But I have no idea how to place that in terms of time should I not have been prompted to write.

 

[Grace11]

That is interesting....I wonder if I suppressed writing it down because I was forced to go through a lot with insurance and lawyers right after my accident. I usually write when upset. I have avoided it for several months. I am possibly getting to a point where I realize the world will still go on with me in it. It's strange to me, I self edit so much now. I just wrote a paragraph and deleted it because I worry so much that someone would stumble upon it and take it the wrong way. I admire all of you who are able to write about your experiences.

 

[suzie q]

My very first attempt at writing my trauma histories was in a rehab center. They told me to write memories in age order. I started with birth to 7 years, 7 to 11years, 12 to 15 yrs, 16 to 21, then every four years till current age. By keeping it in sections like that, I was able to go back and add information I had forgotten.

The purpose of the writing was to unload my clogged and overpacked attic! In the end, it was for my benefit so the writing of it, and the way it read, didn't matter. As long as I had things down so that I could refer back was all that really mattered. Writing and remembering at the same time helped me get in touch with the feelings. Then I could work through small sections of trauma with my therapist, stay focused on the memory, and eventually process and let go of a lot of my anxieties and pain. I was working through the sh*t, a little piece at a time.

I set a time limit of 7 days to finish to present, working on it at least 1-2 hours daily. I have a really long history of abuse, so even with that, I was done at the end of the 7th day. I've used that writing to process a lot of trauma over the years, and it's been helpful beyond words. I got more info out if I went into "report" mode. That wasn't always the case though. When I got overwhelmed, I stopped and either started later or the next day. You wouldn't believe how much tension will go away after you have done this exercise!!

Remember, you can post your diary on the "private" trauma section should you feel uncomfortable typing it on the public format. Don't be afraid to post as you truly think and feel. Part of this forum is about learning how to communicate and if something is unclear, most smart people will ask you to clarify what you are saying. I encourage you to begin as soon as your anxiety will allow. Best of luck..

suzie q

 

[Innordinate]

I just started writing it out the last 7 months when I started this program. Probably about a couple months after. I have trouble saying anything about it outloud but we figured out I could write it and from there possibly read it and then my T and I disect the hell out of it from there. Still have trouble reading anything I write outloud.
So far writing it out is proving really helpful. This is the first therapist I've had that's figured that out.. the rest all tried to force talk and I shut down on them, stopped seeing them or deflected the conversation to other things and began answering what I thought they'd want to hear - very much not helpful.