Who To Trust After Complex Trauma?

[Cimuru]

Hi, I have a very complicated situation, there is past neglect and severe psychological abuse I would like to disclose to a psychologist/counsellor, but I am worried about the consequences. Previously I was very naïve, I was trapped in the situation due to severe ill-health and tried to reason with my abusers ( narcissistic family but I didn't realise at the time) and get them to see they were behaving badly, but this only escalated the abuse to physical and when they realised I was disclosing the abuse to my doctor they did not allow me to continue seeing that doctor, but when I collapsed got another doctor and tried to misrepresent the situation and blame me, and to a certain extent were successful in this because I then became so ill I no longer understood what was going on and even when it became obvious that they were lying and I was being abused and neglected the doctor failed to follow up on the situation, now the abuse is less, I am not as ill and I have come to terms with it to a certain extent but am still vulnerable and would like to disclose it to someone, however I am afraid that no healthcare professional will acknowledge the abuse now because I live in a small town and it would involve acknowledging serious failings in the doctor's care.

Also I don't know if it would be confidential to disclose it and as I still cannot get out of this situation any well-meaning intervention from outsiders will only escalate the situation again. I suppose it is really the trauma that is causing me to seek outside help, but it may be an unrealistic expectation, as it is deliberate calculated abuse, gaslighting, lying about me to others, lying to me,( narcissistic) etc., although the physical abuse has stopped and they act as though it never happened. It is also complicated by the fact my illness is poorly understood (CFS) and makes me very confused so it is easy for people to pretend the abuse and neglect isn't happening. I suppose really my question is does anybody have any suggestions for how to process the abuse without disclosing it to anyone as at the moment I have just been revictimised because my brain shut down after being triggered by a reminder of the abuse? Or is there any professional who will both grasp the situation and keep it confidential?

 

[Kiro]

I wish I had some really profound words of wisdom. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that. I don't know where you are from, but I know in my state they have recently made it a law that all Healthcare professionals(including counselors) have to report abuse. Even if it had stopped years ago and you are no longer in the situation. I would definitely check into that for your area as you decide what you want to do. In the mean time talking to people on this site might be helpful since there are others that have gone through similar situations and can give you some insight as to how they've coped and what has worked for them.

 

[Cesuge]

I can relate. When I confronted my narcissist parents and told them I was going NO CONTACT at all, my mom called our mutual cop friend, my doctor, the church, and basically every other family member to run ahead and try to represent me as crazy.

By the way, this is TEXTBOOK narcissism to gaslight in this way "pre-emtively" and to not allow others to come to their own conclusions.

I would suggest talking to a Dr. who is a trauma specialist who may work for a large research hospital in your area/state/region and make visits into rural or outlying areas. Tell the Dr. your concern and about the other Dr's inability to remain professional and confidential when you were most vulnerable. You need to prepare them for any fallout.

Then, be absolutely no contact and have no social media details so that they Do Not know what you are doing.

Good luck, and I suggest No contact and move as far away as you can afford to.