Why Are Forum Politics The Same Every Month?

[Deleted member 5760]

I will add my honest two cents here.

There have been times when 'forum politics' have gone down a path I disagree with. I dont get to make the decisions. I can only hope my opinions can be heard. Beyond that, it's not up to me. But there are certain things I try to remember - one of which is : I think the internet is similar to life in that, I am simply not gonna get along with everyone. There are going to be certain people in life I just don't gel with, etc etc. It happens. We don't like everything we see.

Secondly, I have the luxury (and I believe for me it is a luxury) of being able to walk away. I'm not tied to this forum. So, that's something for me to remember too if anything upsets me. Absolutely nothing ties me to this place. Members do have that luxury - if it gets too much, walk away. I will walk away one day, and I hope when that day comes it's on good terms and not because I simply couldnt stand the place anymore. I know I have learned to limit my time and my posting here because I really can't mentally afford to make my PTSD battle harder by overdoing it and becoming more ill.

Finally, I really think the members are a huge part of what makes this place. Without their posts there would be nothing here. They deserve respect for that also. And quite simply, they are the reason I have stayed so long. Because PTSD is an horrific battle and in my case, one I've fought with very little support for the most part. I was only diagnosed in a hospital mid last year. This is fresh for me, and it's hard. I've needed all the support I could get, so I thank all the wonderful members here who I have got to know and who have been like guardian angels at times. Some have become extremely close friends. That is the best thing I've taken from this forum.

The politics sometimes - well... *shrugs* ... Out of my hands.

 

[Learning123]

Nicolette,

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate what you are saying. Yes I fully acknowledge that my opinion is out of control, fair enough it is Anthony's forum, and I fully acknowledge what a great job he has done, I have no doubt that he and you also have saved lives, helped people and done really good things for many people involved with PTSD so congratulations for that. In response to your points

1) I don't think that it can be said that I have brought this up, after all Anthony referenced in his first post here a thread that says "One person posts an image of a suicide, so a few members all report or complain about it" I think it is clear who brought it all back up, I mean let's be honest with ourselves here.

2) I have no doubt that image could have been removed at the push of a button

3)Yes I agree that this is a successful forum but that doesn't mean he is right allll the time, sometimes pride comes before a fall

4) Yes I gave my opinion, and it's not necessarily that I want to keep going over this. I read Anthony's post and posted my response, and when people reply to my post, of course I will reply again to explain what I mean, it's not re-iterating, it is explaining what I mean.

At the end of the day, as I have already said, Anthony has asked a question, I have answered it with my honest opinion, it is what I believe and I stand by what I have said. I am not upset that people may disagree, I know that it won't change Anthony's decisions, I am not trying to promote world peace, life is life and we aren't all going to agree.

You believe one thing, I believe another, as my grandad says, if we could control the weather, there would be wars because when one person wants sun, the other wants rain, meh! that's life!

 

[Nicolette]

You believe one thing, I believe another, as my grandad says, if we could control the weather, there would be wars because when one person wants sun, the other wants rain, meh! that's life!

Also, we each stand on other sides of the fence so while I appreciate your opinion I also understand the intent of leaving the image which doesn't disturb me.

 

[anthony]

Learning... you have choices, lots of them... you choose to complain about until you get your own way. It doesn't work with me, so its useless going on about it.

That image is still on that article... but I don't hear you still complaining about that! Again, as stated above, you have choices, you where told over and over to stop putting BS comments onto the article because they ordered by comments. So instead of creating a thread, a few kept commenting on the article. So you became your own abuser/s so to speak. Image still there, still on the same article... oh wait... if you go and comment on it again, guess what happens? It comes back to the top of the article forum for viewing! Care to comment?

People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

Exposure therapy. The moment you turn your computer on, is the same moment you accept that you could be exposing yourself to content that may or will upset you. If you don't want to be exposed to such content upon the web, then you buy software filtering programs that remove such websites from being viewed.

Were does censorship stop if its allowed to begin? You find this offensive, someone else finds what you said offensive, the next reader finds you both offensive, you both find the new readers comments offensive... and let the list go on and on.

People need to stop being backseat drivers, and if you ever want to review from the real perspective, then start a forum and put yourself in the administration shoes, then I will wait for your apology on the decisions you have to make as an overall collective for everyone who uses your community. You won't get sympathy from me, put it that way... because its much harder mentally than you may imagine... so I urge you to go do it and be faced by the same challenges of trying to meet every single members expectations that they believe they deserve vs. their real place in the scheme of participating upon any online community. Hint... it stops at the participation aspect.

Suggestions are always excellent, advice from experience... complaints, they are a whole different playing field that if you begin actioning, you dig yourself a deeper hole with each one you action, as the next person then uses it as a precedent for their complaint. This is why the law becomes such a mess... precedence. I don't set that precedence upon this forum... never have, never will. Users either accept the way this forum is run, or they go elsewhere, which has always been this forums policy. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is forcing any reader or member of this website to be on this website. As per the legal policy states, your choice is to leave the site immediately and discontinue use of it.

This is why we have a defined ruleset and legal policy, because then issues don't arise that staff need worry about uniquely from one member to another. Porn... its not allowed, anything else, no issue. Swearing, has always been allowed on this site. Attacking posts... have always been defined based on absolutely, undeniable statements vs. I feel attacked, emotionally based complaints, which have never been actioned and never will be.

Attack: Go f*ck yourself you piece of shit (actioned)
Emotional Attack: I feel attacked by your statements and opinions. (not actioned)

 

[Learning123]

Okey dokey just make sure the sun falls on my side of the fence coz I am sick of the rain in England! :-)

 

[Learning123]

Anthony, you opened this post to ask a question, and I replied honestly, I was always brought up with this theory "don't ask a question if you don't like the answer"

I can't say any more than that, it is my opinion, it is different to yours, as I said that is life. We could go round and round in circles, but perhaps the best thing to do is agree to disagree, because I am sure we both have better things to do.

L123

 

[anthony]

The question though was: Why are forum politics the same every month?

This relates directly to member failure to read forum rules, legal policy, self perceptions on how much say a member believes they have vs. wants to have, etc.

I don't go onto other forums and try and tell them how to run it, what is or isn't appropriate for their forum, etc. So why do people come on here expecting such things? Why do people think they have a say on something they contribute nothing directly to in the way of running it, whether financial or time based?

 

[Learning123]

Well I think that people do contribute both financially (donations and purchases of books via affiliate links - I found some great books btw thank you) and with time by contributing their thoughts and opinions, I think that members make a significant contribution, but I think I will leave this to someone else to debate coz like I said, we could go on forever. I have taken your points on board, and as I clearly stated above, you and your team do a great job, so let's not focus on one small negative when there are so many positives about this forum.

x

 

[Nicolette]

This relates directly to member failure to read forum rules, legal policy, self perceptions on how much say a member believes they have vs. wants to have, etc.

And more often than not it is the newer members who have supposedly just read the rules & legal policy and agreed to them

 

[Learning123]

Sorry I can't speak for the newer members, so as I said I will leave it there, with a beautiful quote...
"Also, differences of opinion can be creatively stimulating as well as frustrating."
Jim Coleman

 

[anthony]

Sorry I can't speak for the newer members, so as I said I will leave it there, with a beautiful quote...
"Also, differences of opinion can be creatively stimulating as well as frustrating."
Jim Coleman

Have you ascertained that every response is not a reply to you? So this quote i am making from you is you being argumentative to the point of not taking your own advice and stop responding. Nicolette quotes me and again you continue!

 

[becvan]

Same crap, different day. I will answer ya Anthony. I believe new members come here and try to control everything because they are so out of control themselves! When your world falls apart around you what do you do? You try to control everything around you to stop it (which of course never works because it's inside of you that's messed up.) Anyways, thats what I think it is.

bec