Work

[MummaKitten]

So, everyone has hard times at work, right? I work in a residential care program for mentally and physically disabled individuals. I air concerns with my supervisor about health concerns that I had working with a particular person and what do they do? They accidentally replied to my email that I sent to them with a response for her supervisor eyes. She didn't forward this email at all to her supervisor. She called me an "odd duck that came with a lot of extra drama" specifically and I took this to her supervisor, stating this was very unprofessional and that I needed to be transferred ASAP due to being undermined in my position for direct supports. This is a field that I have worked hard to get into and am not going to be held back by someone who thinks it's okay to talk bad about employees behind their back.

I ended up in ICU a few weeks back with heart related issues. Apparently she doesn't understand that I'm rather anxious because of that- which is normal.

I already have GAD and C-PTSD. I don't need my boss trying to smear my name in the workplace, as well. I don't take being an odd duck as an insult, however. I do find it unprofessional and it does have a negative connotation to most people.

Has anyone else had issues similar to this? How did they result in the long run for you and what happened to your supervisor?

 

[Suzetig]

She called me an "odd duck that came with a lot of extra drama" specifically

Honestly, I'd be more concerned about the drama comment if it were me - mainly because I'd want to see if it were true, is my behaviour at work causing drama for other people and if so maybe I'm less in control of my symptoms than I thought I was.

In my workplace I'd treat the "odd duck" comment as a bit of a pet name type thing - it wouldn't cause me offence in the slightest. I work in a relatively small team and we do use nicknames or terms of endearment.

Of all the things I've struggled with at work - and I experienced long term bullying - this wouldn't have been a big deal. Unprofessional, maybe, but I would have had a quiet word with the person, not demanded a transfer or thought I was being smeared. There may be history here that makes it more significant than it looks but your response does sound a tad over dramatic.

 

[MisterCatLady]

If that happened to me I would be upset and have a mild spiral at the very least. OP - your feelings are valid. i do like what @Suzetig said about using this as an opportunity to evaluate where your symptoms are in affecting your work performance/relationships. Working with a person who we don't like and who doesn't like us is very uncomfortable but working past that is a valuable skill and asset. I don't know anything about the offending supervisor but she's probably embarrassed at sending that email to the wrong person. Perhaps you could approach her and express that you are trying your best and want to work with her to improve operations. In my personal experience I find that constructive and kind confrontation results in mutual respect.

 

[ladee]

I understand the stance you took. I would have done the same.
I have been in recovery for a long time. I would have not taken all the small steps to end up transfering anyway.
I own that I have a professional mask I wear that under it lies a reactive child. May not be your situation at all. But you did what was right for you.
I would not have trusted the person that sent the email and I have the right (finally) to get myself into safer environments.
Kudos for doing what was right for you.

 

[Poofycat]

@Suzetig Maybe it's a cultural thing but I don't read "odd duck" as a term of endearment or pet name. I've only seen and heard it used as a nicer way to insult someone.

@MummaKitten I would have done the same thing. That's an extremely unprofessional way to behave. If anything, your supervisor was potentially biasing her supervisor by referring to you in those terms. If your supervisor thinks you have "extra drama" and hasn't previously brought it up with you to discuss then that is on them.

 

[shimmerz]

and hasn't previously brought it up with you to discuss then that is on them.

Absolutely.

 

[Powder]

Your supervisor doesn't do things in good or helpful ways.

If that person truly thinks you are creating drama and wants to complain and maybe get sympathy or get you transferred away from her supervision, then that would lead to that behavior.

But look how either she deliberately sent it to you, to upset you, or is so sloppy that she hit "reply" instead of "forward" and then smeared you.

Either way, she's smelling a little off.

So if she's been there a while and enjoys life there, you can imagine that her supervisor might be either off, too, or frustrated with her.

So how I played this was find out real quick how this has been going prior to me. Was my super in hot water for being off, or is this place just a mess all around?

If a mess all around, start applying someplace else, maybe in a nicer area, and check them out better. If you worked hard to get there, which I believe you did, you understand that work doesn't end when you start work. It just begins. Everything is political.

 

[Justmehere]

Is this a one time event?

 

[Freedomfighter]

So, everyone has hard times at work, right? I work in a residential care program for mentally and p...

Oh yeah, I have certainly had experiences such as yours. I have certainly heard and witnessed statements about me from others in the same way.
And every single one of these instances I realized that these discriminating behaviors originated with people who would:

1. Love to get my job
2. Have a lot of personal jealousy issues
3. Will sabotage just for fun or just to hurt others
4. Attempt to suck up to the boss by spreading negative rumors about others

I totally ignore such kiddie games, because if you start to react heavily to this behavior the coworkers that are privy to that conflict will begin to have a field day about that. Because some people, a lot of people, think it is fun to do such things and will participate similar to a sports activity.