Working With Body Memories

[shimmerz]

I'm still muddled over how to tell the difference between your own memories and other people's, your own energy and others'... when you are quick to pick up on what is going on for others and your memories are fragmented and confused. Is it just a matter of intensity? The persistence of symptoms? (That's the generic "you", partly meaning me.)

This was a very large problem for me. I worked with an energy worker to figure this out (my minister). Practice, practice, practice. This also becomes a problem when we don't have a solid understanding of SELF. I found the more I teased out my intuitive thoughts and anchored them (only allowing them to come through when I called them up), the more I was able to gain my sense of SELF.

 

[shimmerz]

So maybe treating the body like a 'new relationship' might make things easier?

I absolutely agree with this. It is why I always say that it is like learning a new language.

I then realised that this is what I always feel when listening into part of my body, that is, aches and pains.

Sounds strange, but is it possible to 'ask' what it needs to feel comfort rather than pain? If this is happening with your baby finger, I can imagine how difficult it would be to attach to the whole body. Can you attach to it when things are very calm and see if the pain is less? I always found that finding a contrasting position when 'checking in' was helpful.

As for the original question, I don't feel pain but I did have very dramatic body responses to unknown things. Flashes would come up as well. I didn't know any of the story originally. My shaman was a big one for saying we don't need to know the story, just how it is affecting us in this moment. So we would do EFT. 'Even though I am feeling pain in my finger, I truly and profoundly love and accept myself and forgive myself for any part I may have played and continue to play in this feeling pain in my finger experience'. Prior to do this setup and tapping (if this calls to you at all), she would write down whatever popped into my head at the time. This practice avoids the story yet gets relief from the hear and now.

I didn't use 'pain' things, as I don't feel pain, but it worked profoundly in other ways for me. Just thought I would throw it out there.

 

[shimmerz]

They are so mixed up for me. It is one of my biggest problems I think. My boundaries are all screwed up. So when I have memories/flashbacks etc. I can't for the life of me tell what the right perspective is.

It sounds like this is because when the trauma happened you had no boundaries, could that be possible? If you were an empath at the time you would have taken on the pain of another person's trauma as if your own. If that is the case, if that does ring true, does it not, in fact, become your own and therefore it doesn't matter who it happened to? You may have to process it as if it was your own. Just a thought.

 

[Hope4Now]

I still don't have boundaries, or at least they're pretty fuzzy even when I work on visualizing myself in my bat cape :)).
I don't know "when" the trauma happened. I think it's all an accumulation of trauma from in the womb on...everything feels traumatic. Even the good things sometimes. Argh.

If you were an empath at the time you would have taken on the pain of another person's trauma as if your own. If that is the case, if that does ring true, does it not, in fact, become your own and therefore it doesn't matter who it happened to? You may have to process it as if it was your own.

I don't know if I am an empath or not. I think I am, but maybe I am fooling myself. I DO take on others' traumas, and even emotional states, as my own. Without my dissociative defenses, I'm just raw, exposed vulnerability. It is awful. I don't think I realized the severity of this until recently. I'm intrigued by the idea that it doesn't matter who it happened to. Makes me think of all this trauma from past lives stuff that some people have talked to me about. You're right, though. If it is stuck inside me, it's mine, wherever it came from. Thank you for a new way of framing it.

 

[shimmerz]

I think I quoted the wrong thing here Hope. Sorry. It may not make any sense to you. I think my head is still scrambled.

 

[Hope4Now]

I don't think so, @shimmerz. What you wrote makes sense. I probably scrambled it with past lives comment. That's pretty out-there stuff, although enough people have mentioned it to me that I take it vaguely seriously. The other piece you quoted is dead-on. And it is what my yogi-healer-lady said to me last year...that I'm processing not only my own traumas but those of others too. GREAT! Hope there's some decent payback someday. She says maybe I'll get to come back as a spoiled house cat. I don't want to wait until my next life...

 

[shimmerz]

That's pretty out-there stuff

I believe in past lives. So no, that wasn't it.

I don't want to wait until my next life...

Agreed....some days more than others. :confused:

 

[sun seeker]

So maybe treating the body like a 'new relationship' might make things easier?

Like a first date, it's about simply meeting, warming up to each other, introducing the mind, feeling each other out, developing familiarity and trust.

This is brilliant. I'm adjusting it a little because I am slow to get to know people, but now you put it that way I'm thinking about how I do get to know people, which tends to be doing things together casually without the pressure of a face-to-face interview. Maybe my relationship with my body is the same way. Maybe I am being too pushy and causing it to shut down, and need to take the pressure off and let it and my mind warm up to each other gradually. Thank you for the analogy.

If that is the case, if that does ring true, does it not, in fact, become your own and therefore it doesn't matter who it happened to? You may have to process it as if it was your own.

That's a good point. In a way this approach is like ho'oponopono; if it's there, heal it. The scope of ho'oponopono feels overwhelming to me as it says we are responsible for healing every problem we become aware of. Healing what is actually in my body seems like a more manageable place to start.

There are a few separate issues here. One is, yes, if it's there we can do something about it and get some relief, without needing to know the story. Good news. Another though, is if we don't know how it got there we are operating blind. I'd like to know whether my perceptions are accurate because that will help me decide how much contact to have with the people I sense, but don't know, were involved. And because knowing my story would help me feel more in charge of my own life.

Sorry guys, I'm tired, I'll probably have more to say later.

 

[Born to Run]

Good news. Another though, is if we don't know how it got there we are operating blind. I'd like to know whether my perceptions are accurate because that will help me decide how much contact to have with the people I sense, but don't know, were involved. And because knowing my story would help me feel more in charge of my own life.

Yes, I get what you mean here. Knowing is also a way that I consider to be very helpful to have more control over my life. The man in vd Kolk's story up here, knew himself perfectly well in what he was dealing with; here vd Kolk was just operating blind. My own experience is that even if there is no clear narrative, there are still emotions, images, impulses, that come up while doing bodily release work. With those and knowing the issues that are active at that specific moment, together with my therapist we can usually find a close explanation if it is not clear upfront. The body speaks so much for itself and you can deduct a lot from what the body shows you i.e, a clear flight/fight/freeze response or the position of your body showed self-protection. I never have felt it was a completely blind operation. Of course, we are all unique here and this will be different for everyone.

 

[redstone]

Hello, it's me again...

On another thread we got to talking about how to work with body memories, an...

Oh thank you for this thread. Not quite ready to read all of it as my symptoms - tingling in hands and feet along with "space-out" fatigue, get in the way. BUT I think understanding how the body memories work is an important next step for me. Please (a part of me wants to add) don't leave me alone with these sensations! Thank you being there, all of you.

 

[sun seeker]

Not quite ready to read all of it as my symptoms - tingling in hands and feet along with "space-out" fatigue, get in the way.

Redstone, I am wondering from this combination of symptoms whether it's possible you are not getting enough oxygen. How is your breathing when you are in this state?

Please (a part of me wants to add) don't leave me alone with these sensations!

I'm listening. Sorry it's taken me a while to find your post, but I'll keep checking back.