You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Ronin]

When...

Your therapist is more excited about fourth of July than you.

When you explain to said T actually having people to watch is the least of your problems, as real nonsense at least syncs up with mental maps.

When you ghost on the T not because they are bad, but because good. While trying not to think the f*ck got to you, since no time for it, later.

 

[ChildofGod]

You begin to feel worthless and it feels like nothing will ever change. You start to believe that you deserve bad things to happen to you. I feel like I deserved everything bad and horrible that has happened to me.

(I don't like the 4th of July either, for various reasons)

 

[oasis2003]

when you start zoning out again after spending years of therapy working on stopping dissociating .
( we don't celebrate 4th July ) but have other forced day celebrations which I find difficult sometimes xx

 

[ChildofGod]

Thoughts of what might happen are stronger than what is actually happening. You technically are safe but never feel safe.

You feel blues music, because you've lived through it, and maybe you know pain more than you care to.

 

[Lucycat]

The audiobooks you are listening to for entertainment, while cooking or relaxing in the garden - are all about mental health issues.

 

[ChildofGod]

You have been abused ritually.

 

[Friday]

When you realize some people (Waves! Hi Mom! :D) think things are honestly okay when people are talking and being civil to each other.

...and it’s just like...

- I was in an abusive marriage
- I was held prisoner
- I not only worked with one of my rapists, there were several occasions where you just have to straighten your uniform and go back to work after being raped. Sometimes with the same person who raped you, more often not but with people looking for any sign of weakness, and you’ll be damned if you’ll not only be raped, but lose your job -or the respect of the blokes you work with- because of it.

I can do talking civilly standing on my head. Doesn’t mean I’m happy and all’s well.


Perspective.

 

[ChildofGod]

When I was younger, was raped at knifepoint by two guys that I worked with. I slept with a dishwasher, and they gave him and I a hard time.

I still continued to work there, in disbelief. I had to act like nothing was wrong, like nothing happened.

 

[DekuDeku]

When you feel like what's on your mind is more real than reality.

I also have this worse case scenario planned in my head. It becomes so real sometimes that I start to believe it.

 

[ChildofGod]

I feel completely defeated.

 

[Keming]

When you don't need VR to be transported to a vivid sensory experience.

 

[siniang]

When you set your boyfriend's car against a wall in a parking garage because the barrier bar bangs shut after you passed it and you turn around startled, neither following the turning way nor putting your foot on the brake.