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You Know You Have PTSD When...

... when someone is in a bad mood and you are sure it was something you said or did that caused it. Then, the next time you see them, they are again in a bad mood and you finally mention it to another friend, who noticed it too. You maybe accept now that it had nothing to do with you, then fall back into thinking for sure it was your fault in less than 10 minutes.
 
When you sleep through your alarm that usually goes off at 5:30AM and awaken at 8:20AM and bolt out of bed as soon as your eyes can focus on the clock. And you wonder on and off throughout the day if you just simply ignored the alarm and went back to sleep, or if you really slept through it. Anyway, getting back to 8:20AM, you somehow successfully pack your usual morning activities into a half an hour, but feel out of sorts for the day.

Oh, and of course you woke up a dozen times throughout the night when you should have been sleeping, as happens often. So you deduce finally that you probably did sleep through your alarm.
 
... when you have intense side effects from a new med and one is a slowing of your urine flow to about 1 out of 100% and you fear having to go onto dialysis for life. (Fortunately said side effect subsided, when you did not take a 2nd dose!).

Back to the Dr. for a replacement, if I dare! I am now allergic to 6 meds, including one anaphalactic shock incident in which you nearly died, and had it not been for the ambulance guys, you would have!

Some days I'd love to just give up on Drs. and meds, throw them all down the toilet and never go back!
 
I know I have PTSD when...
Having even part of an hour or any day free from worry, extreme self reflection. fear of people or the doubt "any of it will ever get better" seems like a far fetched ideal.
OR when...
Taking action or even thinking about how hard it is to go outside is more paralyzing than actually going outside.
OR when...
Getting together a list of supporters who have helped me with my PTSD in a positive way is basically a list of the victim counselors, state board of probationers or the DA's secretary who still remember me 30 years after the fact.
 

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