You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Ocean5]

When you have nightmares about having a nightmare (dream within a dream.) So disorienting.

 

[jaccat]

When your alarm clock startles you awake and you have to spend the first five minutes of your day focusing on calming your breath so as not to go into a panic attack.

 

[Ronin]

When first thoughts about being labeled a traitor are continually who else will pay for it & what to do to prevent it. & when you have no words for how false accusations really feel, because they're all wrapped up in 'Why am I left here & who I'm good for'.

When it seems you collect the worst of anywhere you are on the planet... and you want to do a victory sign about that because f*ck you, Universe.

When... the more need-a-way-out you are, the more you talk about insignificant anything. Because going off that filter will support you. I love you, ADHD.

 

[Ellabella44]

@jaccat I put my phone on vibrate for my alarm because of that, much better than grounding after buzzing or music of an alarm.

 

[Ronin]

When you love PTSD themed threads that have so much helpful people in them and don't mind how far you are from the original spirit of the thread or funnies, because sharing is quite productive. ;)

When you still use your determination as a sense of alarm and nightmares interfere, as you want to sleep longer (in that dream, you can be with them some longer, when you wake up, they won't be there or who is will be the same far away or too busy.)

 

[Ocean5]

@jaccat @Ellabella44

Opposite side....when you use to wake-up normally every day without an alarm (until some major triggers, and medication.) Now you have alarm set that sounds military, prison break, or nuclear meltdown - too that extreme. Yet you sleep through it, or just turn it off, and never remember. Just glad to be sleeping.

 

[Ronin]

Your fond memory is an ex-fiancee and how fast her shooting themed alarm worked for you (nevermind not the same sounds, half sleepy after a few hours of sleep you really couldn't discern, just reacted)

You're still proud of yourself despite all the triggering she did, you never attacked her, as she still kept registering as Beloved, Younger, To Be Protected.

When you force your sleep schedule to change 180 degrees just to fit with your work schedule and get stuck on the fact your body still doesn't cooperate, because that's not your Action Mode. :banghead::banghead: Retraining & fun for another few months. Sharing how sleep issues tie to trauma ones is difficult, because decades of not being allowed to sleep however you needed.

 

[jaccat]

@Ellabella44 great idea but unfortunately if I don't have a loud alarm there's a fair chance I don't wake up. The startle thing only started happening recently, I blame my therapist!

 

[Anrish]

When you tend to take a look on your watch because you fear to forget how long you've stayed out with some people - and you fear to have a break down if you stay longer than a certain period of time.

 

[Ocean5]

break down if you stay longer than a certain period of time.

Uh, I've always noticed having to limit my time around people. Then needing to get away, and be alone.

 

[Gadgie]

When you can't control the mood swings, does anyone know of a way of controlling them?

Especially the anger ones, they are the worst, but luckily I'm alone when they happen.

I did have one, when I was in company, but I left as soon as I felt it coming on, probably for the best.

 

[illusionist]

You go away for a couple of days, come home, and have what seems like delayed reaction...turn into a complete mess.