Don't Want My Body Anymore

[Poofycat]

I had a terrible flashback almost two weeks ago and ever since I don't want my body anymore. It is such a visceral reaction that it's hard to describe. It's like my body is so horrible and NOT MINE that I don't want to be in it any more. I had a meltdown last Sunday and thought about getting a knife and cutting it off of me. Luckily I was stuck in the bathroom because I was too terrified to leave it. I've never been a cutter, and I have that thing where you faint when you see blood, so this is a very strange thing for me to want to do. I don't want to die, I just don't want my body. Rock and a hard place.

Any suggestions for how to deal with this?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Maybe try looking for anything about your body you do like? Or putting on favorite clothes? I am not really sure to tell you the truth, but those things came to my mind. And keep reminding yourself you can't cut your body off, that will only make things worse. I am a cutter and it does give short-term relief, but not in the long term. Hope you find some strategy that works for you.

 

[Joan]

I am not sure any answer...just wanted to say that you are not alone. I have the same feelings. I often try exercise to make my body feel different....or a hike and make me feel more empowered and that it took me to the top of a mountain...I really do not have the answer though as I still struggle...mainly just wanted to say I get it.

 

[Friday]

My body has betrayed me, and I've abused the f*ck out of it.

We're working slowly towards a mutually beneficial relationship.

It's going to take some serious time. And patience. And hard work. And luck. It's worth doing, however.