How Do I Go About This?

[deleted]

i've been dating D for a little over a month which is not that long at all I know but we've quickly fallen in love and been through a lot together already. He told me on our second date that he wants to marry me one day and I feel the same way. He's helped me through my PTSD and near suicide last week and been a saint about all of it.

But then enters in the military. Basic training is coming up for him anywhere between 3 weeks and a month from now. He's afraid this isn't going to work so he broke it off with me. My heart was very broken and my abandonment issues flared up majorly so I said things to him that were absolutely terrible to try and make him hurt as bad as I was. Which is so wrong. He called me later that night and said he forgave me but that we have to start our relationship over as just friends and work back up to where we were.

That's fine and all and i'm happy I have a shot at all but he put all of the effort onto me and said if I wanted it I have to make it work. I don't know how to do that without completely smothering him. I've been sending him pages of text messages telling him I'm going to fight for him and I love him because I don't know what else to do and he told me today that while I have a chance to get him back in starting to smother him. I'm afraid of loosing him because I love him and really want to be there for him through the military and all that brings (I am prepared I come from a military family). I just don't know how to go about winning him back after the things I said without smothering him or being too distant. I need him in my life and I'm terrified that I'm going to loose him.

 

[deleted]

I'm just so emotionally strung out right now that I can barley handle not knowing if I'm loosing him or not. A lot of my past has come back up lately (hence the suicide attempt), July is extremely hard for me as it's the month when what happened happened and I can barley handle that alone. I feel like I'm ripping my heart apart but I love and care about him so much that I want to fight for him

 

[Deleted member 34535]

Emotional decisions are generally stupid decisions. And what results from these emotional decisions is generally not a whole lot of fun. When you are talking about something as sacred as marriage, it takes a whole lot longer than weeks or months to figure out if you truly love someone. There are so many issues that need to be talked about to see if two people are compatible with one another. It is so easy for those of us with PTSD to want to do something that will take away our pain, if even for a short while. When we are battling our issues, we need to focus on ourselves first. Anything and everyone will have to take a backseat to our own well-being.