What Did I Do?

[Lotis]

Did I just ignite a fire or put one out? A person from my childhood, no not just a person, a horrible monster recently popped back into my life. I had started another thread on this a month ago because I didn't know what to do. He wasn't back physically but he was still there watching like a ghost, even if it is virtually.
My close friend advised that I take action. That it was unacceptable for him to be lurking and shouldn't get the privileged to see me....ultimately she is right.
Today I took action and removed and blocked him from social media. The problem is family members are still acquainted with him because they don't know what he has done. He is highly regarded and liked within the family; although people think he is creepy and sexual they tolerate it. Nobody talks about it.
I am freaking out because I did this....I have so many conflicting feelings. What if he finds out? Should I care? I shouldn't care!! But I am scared....what if this starts a fire and he keeps coming at me? I am not ready to fight yet.
I just started therapy again and we haven't even skimmed the surface of my trauma because it is a new relationship and ....ugh I am just not ready to deal with any of the repercussions of what I did.
I just needed to vent and write this out because I am in panic mode. I have never stood up to this person and for the first time I did something and it feels scary.
I feel so stupid talking about this.

Thanks for listening.
~L

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are not stupid and I would consider this a very stressful situation, it would impact me just the same.

Do whatever it takes to insulate yourself from any contact if that is possible.

My dad was a stalker and now he is dead which I am glad because I do not have to live looking over my shoulder anymore.

Do whatever it takes to be safe.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

What if he finds out? Should I care?

NO! And in addition Id block family members that talk to him or advise them that he did something bad and you dont want to talk about it but that you cant talk to him or about him...or how ever you want to advise...or not.

I cut contact with my mother but family members (on my dad's side 20 yrs divorced) talked to her on a regular basis so i blocked them and cut contact with them. Therefore she had no way at all to get to me. It sucks as im alone but they dont believe me and they hurt me so id rather be alone.

Family that are true family will stand by you if you advise them that you dont want to hear from him or talk about him even if you dont advise why. If they dont they arent true family.