L
LilyMuse
Would appreciate advice for my boyfriend, USMC vet of Iraq and Afghanistan with PTSD.
He’s been out for about 5 years, and we met 1.5 years ago. After he got out he went through the classic rigmarole – drinking, drugs, isolation, divorce, bad relationships, bad decisions. A few months before we met he decided to clean up his act and did. He’s now started college (and getting all As), is working, started therapy, talks about us getting married in the future (our relationship is amazing and we love each other deeply). He’s doing really well and working so hard to build a normal life and a future for us. But the stress in his life is relentless and regularly causes his PTSD cup to spill over.
When he decided to go to college, his family insisted that he move back home (an expensive small town outside San Francisco) and go to the local school, on promise that they will provide him with support and a place to stay. Since then, all sort of family drama unrelated to him has happened, which resulted in the aunt who was hosting him and his family kicking him out because her house was too crowded. He’s rented rooms with a couple of people in town, in subpar conditions which after a couple of months stopped working. Every three months he’s at risk of being homeless. His family doesn’t care and won't help despite what they said upfront. They’ve all branded him an “adult” who should manage his life on his own, refusing to acknowledge how vulnerable he is, and that he’s doing everything in HIS power but needs a bit of outside help. Rental places are few and far between, or prohibitively expensive, or limited by the fact that he has bad credit (see “bad decisions after getting out” above). Between school and working he has no time to deal with this, and goes to really dark PTSD places – he had to call the VA suicide line a couple of months ago. Every time it feels like a huge hurdle he starts talking about giving up, including on his life. I am terrified for him. I want nothing more than his life to get stable, for him to be happy, and for us to build a future together. He’s an amazing person – smart, tough, kind, talented.
I guess I'm asking for any pointers on how he can get help with housing – is there anything through the VA, or charities or such? Because, to make matters more complex, I live in Canada and don’t even know how some of this local stuff works… I am the only point of stability in his life, the only one who’s truly in his corner. Which is a big responsibility, but I want to do everything I can to help him.
He’s been out for about 5 years, and we met 1.5 years ago. After he got out he went through the classic rigmarole – drinking, drugs, isolation, divorce, bad relationships, bad decisions. A few months before we met he decided to clean up his act and did. He’s now started college (and getting all As), is working, started therapy, talks about us getting married in the future (our relationship is amazing and we love each other deeply). He’s doing really well and working so hard to build a normal life and a future for us. But the stress in his life is relentless and regularly causes his PTSD cup to spill over.
When he decided to go to college, his family insisted that he move back home (an expensive small town outside San Francisco) and go to the local school, on promise that they will provide him with support and a place to stay. Since then, all sort of family drama unrelated to him has happened, which resulted in the aunt who was hosting him and his family kicking him out because her house was too crowded. He’s rented rooms with a couple of people in town, in subpar conditions which after a couple of months stopped working. Every three months he’s at risk of being homeless. His family doesn’t care and won't help despite what they said upfront. They’ve all branded him an “adult” who should manage his life on his own, refusing to acknowledge how vulnerable he is, and that he’s doing everything in HIS power but needs a bit of outside help. Rental places are few and far between, or prohibitively expensive, or limited by the fact that he has bad credit (see “bad decisions after getting out” above). Between school and working he has no time to deal with this, and goes to really dark PTSD places – he had to call the VA suicide line a couple of months ago. Every time it feels like a huge hurdle he starts talking about giving up, including on his life. I am terrified for him. I want nothing more than his life to get stable, for him to be happy, and for us to build a future together. He’s an amazing person – smart, tough, kind, talented.
I guess I'm asking for any pointers on how he can get help with housing – is there anything through the VA, or charities or such? Because, to make matters more complex, I live in Canada and don’t even know how some of this local stuff works… I am the only point of stability in his life, the only one who’s truly in his corner. Which is a big responsibility, but I want to do everything I can to help him.
