How Can A Single Person Cause Triggers/stressors

[Deleted member 33287]

I am looking for clarity on my situation.

I am a male a female friend of mine opened up to me telling me has ptsd and was raped. After that things went down hill between us. When I gave her space from texting and talking if she saw me look at her she would freak out and have this panic attack type of thing. She told me one day we can't be friends because it was to stressful.

Why is she having a panic/anxiety attack every time I look at her? Any other feedback on if this happened to you and why would be great. Since I don't talk to her can't tell her to get help.

 

[Justmehere]

You didn't cause the trigger. You are not responsible for her being triggered. The trauma is the source of the trigger.

When she sees you, she is reminded of the trigger. It's not your fault. It's good to respect her need for space, as you have described making a huge effort to do. But her being triggered and reminded of the trauma is not your fault. Only your behavior and actions are your responsibility. That's it.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

You didn't cause the trigger. You are not responsible for her being triggered. The trauma is the sou...

Thanks, was figuring out if anyone was in a similar situation to me. I want to make sure I do whats best for my healing process. And learning how others think and handle situations is helping me heal

 

[illusionist]

Many years ago, in a vulnerable moment, I told someone. The second I told them I totally regretted it....they knew my dirty secret....I was ashamed, and looking at that person brought that deep shame of my secret and also shame of myself for being so vulnerable.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

Many years ago, in a vulnerable moment, I told someone. The second I told them I totally regretted...

That is the situation I am in. Did you ever work things out/patch thing up or just push them away?

 

[illusionist]

I did what I had done for years.....I ran away from it rather than face up to it. I didn't have the understanding I do now though.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

What made you stop running away?

 

[illusionist]

I told my present partner, my hands over my face, cringing, and wanting to run.....I didn't and we are still together after eight years. It took a lot, but I worked on it and got there.

The reason I stopped running??......I realised I was running nowhere, just round and round in circles...making the same mistakes over and over again...with the same, continuous turmoil.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

How many people did you run away from before you stopped running from people?

What did you do to work on it and get there?

 

[illusionist]

Now that's a question!.....a lot!.....strangely it was the good, decent people I ran from....the ones who showed me kindness.

 

[illusionist]

I started off with councelling, that's where I learned to question myself..My thinking.....My behaviours....spent 10 years on my own. I think in that time I'd learned to accept a lot, about my past, and myself..basically...I stopped running away from myself.

My advice to anyone would be to seek therapy as it is a hard road to go on your own. I'm still working things out and know that there are certain things I can't change although I've learned coping skills which made a huge difference, alongside changing my way of thinking. Therapy can help with these things.

 

[Deleted member 33287]

And therapy is a choice that is made 100 percent on your own