Relationship She/he Suddenly Left After Month/couple Years/ Lot Of Years Scenario...input Wanted

[hangingon]

One thing I struggle with, in regards to moving on & letting go, is that I feel like the sufferer deserves to have someone who is on their side no matter what. I have tried to back off and give him space. Even though I haven't seen my vet in a while, if I don't make contact he asks me if everything is alright. I think he feels alone. I know he can't handle a full blown relationship right now, but he also can't handle feeling abandoned and unloved. I can't imagine what he's going through, but I know it can't be better to have no one to turn to

 

[Olivia2016]

One thing I struggle with, in regards to moving on & letting go, is that I feel like the sufferer des...

I think this is not a question, it is definitely good to have someone to turn to when they need it, and it may be comforting to know that someone is waiting for them if they feel better and are able to be in a relationship. The question is how much you are sacrificing your own life to provide this comforting thought to another person and what would be the right balance between serving another person and taking care of yourself and living your own life. I think if you are not in a hurry to move on and can live a normal life without a partner for a while (or a long while) and not have a deadline for his/her return (because nobody ever knows whether they would return and when), then it is honorable to provide this kind of comfort to another person. If your biological clock is ticking, or you are emotionally unable to focus on your own life in such undetermined situation, then it may be better to move on: your life is as precious and important as his/hers.
I am 56, had my family and children, experienced it all, and very busy with my own life (job, hobbies, friends, family, interests), so I have decided to wait longer and see where it all is going. Someone who needs to make their own decisions based on the relationship status may decide to move on faster, and their decision will be justified too.