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Jealousy

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Snowflake

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Does others feel jealous of everything...okay maybe not everything. I mean if I see other clients before or after my session -I am jealous thinking she likes them more than me. Maybe they are smarter, prettier, talk more than me. I even get jealous on this other forum I am on-the moderator responds to everyone that post, she is so nice. But I feel ????? Because I want her to "see" me. I read what she says to others and then me and I think to myself she likes them more....I am just a name-nothing more. I hate feeling like this. Confusing I know.
 
No, I never felt jealous of others, and seldom experience the emotion of jealousy that I am aware.

Does it stem from feeling like you had siblings and care was being given to whomever was the favorite at that time? Or feeling unpopular in social settings, like at school?

In my case, other feelings are problematic in therapy, such as feeling used for money, not really cared about, that sort of thing. I think it's a similar problem/distraction for me.
 
I'm with you. Very low self-esteem and abandonment issues cause me to feel exactly the same way. I'm working on it, but I can't bear the thought of coming in second-best for that very reason.

Snowflake, you deserve better. Time to start telling yourself you are as valuable and deserving as everyone else! :hug:
 
I have jealousy creep up on me now an then. I know it stems from neglect and abuse as a child. Never belonging, parents treated others kids better to feed their own ego, pitted us kids against each other encouraging jealousy.
I work at avoiding it. Not everything can be avoided. When I see people at work who ooze charm and everyone flocks to do their work or overlooks that they push their work on everyone.
I will never be "charming" never wrap anyone around my pinkie. I will never be stylish or "in" but I hope to find and be me and really, REALLY not give a shit because I know who I am.
 
Not in that way really.
I don't compare myself with other clients at all. Maybe because I am lucky that I have a therapist who knows how to show me that she values a lot the kind of person I am. But I am really of the opinion she is the same with any client. But like I said I am lucky for having her.

I am sorry you feel that way. I do though compare myself to others all the time. And although I don't feel jealous I do feel like they deserve more than I do and that hurts a lot. I wish I deserved more and on the other side I keep acting like I don't. So confusing feelings.

But I can get how you feel, I think that you need more love for yourself from people around you, to feel cared and loved in order to stop seeking for it from such people like your T or moderator of the forum.

I can relate a lot to that, sometimes I really feel like a stray dog, I seek love from anybody willing to give it to me. From my T especially and I can say she is not willing to give it to me - I am looking for it at the wrong place.
 
I notice sometimes that my therapist stifles a yawn during my sessions. I hate this! I have no idea if she does this to other clients or not, but if she does, I would not be surprised. I have no way or knowing though, I guess. I rarely see anyone in her waiting room. Usually the previous patient leaves directly after her appointment and the one after me is after lunch, so I never see him or her.

Jealousy is an awful emotion to be on the other side of though, I can tell you that. I have had a jealous boyfriend and he was jealous of EVERYONE I had any contact with. This included business associates, any other male or female who I spoke to or listened to, my family, etc. He cut me off from EVERYONE. Made me give up all my friends and family. He was an awful person, but I just could not see it until he started to physically abuse me. Then I saw it, but I was financially dependent upon him, so I could not escape right away. Later on I did so, hiding from him way over on the other side of the city in which we lived and eventually moving 625 miles away from there, just to be sure he would never find me. And, thank God, he never has in over 10 years now. I am so relieved. Now I have a good relationship with my family again (those who still remain alive) and I have a whole bunch of new friends. Life is good now, and I am very grateful for that.

But jealousy hurts those you are jealous of, so please try not to be jealous. I think it hurts you too, because it may not even be true. Your therapist may well like all of you equally, or may just see all of you as their job, and not a like or like more or less scenario.
 
I know how you feel. I have a friend who is currently trying to copy my life (i.e. wanting to hang out with my friends, learn about my religion, eat what i eat, do what I do, train a SD along with mine, etc.), and she recently stated she needed some counseling. I love my therapist, and would recommend him in a heartbeat to just about anyone, but in this case I was too jealous. I didn't want to share my therapist with a woman who is trying to be me! So I referred her to another therapist I knew. So far so good, and I don't have to share my T with her! I told my T about the situation, he still teases me about it sometimes (in a good way).
 
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