I've been reading all these posts and have finally decided to join and share my story. My boyfriend (I don't even know if I can call him that now) keeps pushing me away. He is retired AF but is still a contractor in Afghanistan, but he told me upfront he suffers from PTSD. We met online and developed a fast and strong relationship. I was lucky he was able to call on the phone whenever he wanted. We said I loved you before we ever meeting in person. He finally came home this past weekend and we spent 3 wonderful days together. It was all we imagined it to be and he even said his love for me grew stronger while he was with me. He said he's never fallen for anyone so strong and it scared him. He said he wanted our relationship to progress and he considered us a couple and was thinking long term. I even spent extensive amount of time with his kids and we all fit together so great. While we were together he did suffer some anxiety attacks and told me he was dealing with the PTSD and it was him and not me. That he in no way was not saying he didn't want a relationship with me. I thought everything was great when I left, but as soon as I got home, he pushed me away. He won't talk to me or respond to my messages. I don't know how a man can express his love to me and then shut me off so easily. A part of me wonders if I was used, but then I come here and read how sufferers push away when they get too close. I love him and want to believe he loves me.
He has asked for space from me a few times. This usually causes me to go into panic mode. The first time he cam back in two days, which was right before he came home. Now he's still in the states and all I can think about is the time we are wasting that we could be together. After reading things here, I messaged him and said if he needs space, he needs to tell me, otherwise I'm going to think he doesn't want me anymore. I explained my feelings for him and told him if he wants me in his life, I will stand by him and not give up on him. I wonder now if I shouldn't have messaged at all and if I further pushed him away. I can tell he logged onto Facebook briefly but didn't read my messages. I suppose he doesn't want to read them. I don't know what to do now. Do I just let it go? There's another part of me that thinks I should send him one message a day just telling him about my day so he still feels connected and just tell him I love him without any pressure. He had said his biggest fear is that he can trust me enough that I will never give up on him, and so I feel like I need to make sure he knows I haven't. Can someone please advise me? Do I go silent, or do I keep letting him know I love and support him?
He has asked for space from me a few times. This usually causes me to go into panic mode. The first time he cam back in two days, which was right before he came home. Now he's still in the states and all I can think about is the time we are wasting that we could be together. After reading things here, I messaged him and said if he needs space, he needs to tell me, otherwise I'm going to think he doesn't want me anymore. I explained my feelings for him and told him if he wants me in his life, I will stand by him and not give up on him. I wonder now if I shouldn't have messaged at all and if I further pushed him away. I can tell he logged onto Facebook briefly but didn't read my messages. I suppose he doesn't want to read them. I don't know what to do now. Do I just let it go? There's another part of me that thinks I should send him one message a day just telling him about my day so he still feels connected and just tell him I love him without any pressure. He had said his biggest fear is that he can trust me enough that I will never give up on him, and so I feel like I need to make sure he knows I haven't. Can someone please advise me? Do I go silent, or do I keep letting him know I love and support him?
Last edited by a moderator:
