Grounding Vs Dissociation

[pixel]

First time seeing this T.
Have to repeat The Story even though they have all the notes they need.

So it's a struggle, right?

The fogging haze of dissociation sets in; I don't wanna answer every damn question and I'm told to use grounding techniques :O_o:

Now:
WHY should I ground myself back into my T's room where I am most uncomfortable? :inpain:

I'm quite happy to drift away into Fogland and forget about reality. :mask:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

WHY should I ground myself back into my T's room where I am most uncomfortable?

Because you cant actively participate in therapy if you are "gone".

I dont remember where I heard this but brought it into therapy and it has worked for me. Slowly toss a nerve or stress ball back and forth. It helps me stay present ans not drift away.

Just an idea.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

WHY should I ground myself back into my T's room where I am most uncomfortable?

Because that's where you're trying to work through difficult things. However, if things are going too fast or you aren't ready, perhaps you could try telling or signaling this to your therapist and he/she can help you use grounding skills (or teach new ones) during those opportunities. That way you are learning more strategies than just dissociation because in reality even though you feel quite happy to drift into dissociation, it's not really the best coping strategy. It is perceived safety when in reality when you are not fully present, you can't tell what's really going on around your or you can't react to in as best you could. These are things people have told me. I dissociate a lot during therapy and we work on grounding and calming strategies.

 

[sedna]

First time seeing this T.
Have to repeat The Story even though they have all the notes they need.

So it...

I had to do that recently for the group therapy coordinator in sessions before it started.

I decided to just tell him to ask me any questions he had after reading his notes, he kept trying to put the ball back in my court, but I kept tossing it back.

It worked! By the time he had asked me enough questions to make me comfortable, I was able to keep elaborating on things.

I dont know if that will work for you, but you can try it at and see if it helps.

 

[digger]

WHY should I ground myself back into my T's room where I am most uncomfortable?

It's going to take time to adjust to being with a new T and feeling safer, but ultimately, grounding is going to be more helpful to your therapy than dissociation is, so start as you mean to go on?

Therapy's not really the place to avoid reality, it's the place to learn to face it. Maybe have the conversation with yourself about what you want from therapy and why you're choosing to go there and then look at how well dissociation is going to serve you in those goals in the longer term?

That said, our older coping strategies don't get replaced just like that with new healthier ones, it's more like a gradual changeover process in my experience, but with the focus very much on working towards that.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm quite happy to drift away into Fogland and forget about reality.

Being numb can feel good.

The problem is the numb-flood cycle. The more a person numbs out, the more likely they are to be flooded later on. The more they are flooded, the more likely they are to numb out. And around and around the cycle goes.

It is hellishly hard to be present when coming out of the fog. It hurts... for awhile... then it gets much better.

 

[Friday]

Kind of like getting out of bed in the morning.

 

[Missycat]

@pixel
I would have to concur with everyone above. I understand that being in fogland may be slightly more comfortable for you at times but you wont move forward if you stay there. I dissociate during T sessions and regularly end up throwing a cushion between myself and my T - is works for me and also helps with my anger too.

 

[pixel]

You are all dead right.

Thanks everyone for caring to respond.

you cant actively participate in therapy if you are "gone".

i should have known this :shy:

if things are going too fast or you aren't ready, perhaps you could try telling or signaling this to your therapist

Cheers JEK, I'm definitely gonna do this! :tup:

@digger I'm good at talking to myself LoL, so I will do just that! :roflmao:

I've never heard of the flood/numb cycle, I'm suppose I'm deep into it:cool:
omg that must be what the whole problem is... dayam.

so how does one jump out of the hurricane of emotions and land safely?
(and don't tell me 'grounding techniques', its toooo hard! :cry:)
i mean, how do you come out of Fogland without feeling anything?! ahaha, what a joke!:joyful:

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

so how does one jump out of the hurricane of emotions and land safely?
(and don't tell me 'grounding techniques', its toooo hard! :cry:)

Yeah, my first thought is grounding techniques because that's what everyone first told me. I hated it. I hated grounding. I hated being told to do it. I thought I could never do it. And even though I wouldn't have wanted to hear this when I was in your position, I am going to talk about grounding, but hopefully you will know I mean it in the most helpful way.

Now I know a ton of grounding techniques and I can use them most of the time, but I have tried many and I have determined sets of them that work best at different levels of dissociation with my most dissociated levels needing outside help right now most of the time (I have DID, so my most level is a different part of me and I am not totally co-conscious with all parts so usually my therapist and sometimes my husband help me out some.) It's key though to try a lot out and really find out what is meant by grounding (even if you think you do, read more about it- great threads on here) and then try them when you're present and see what seems like it might help. Then, try them when you start to dissociate- not once you have. So learning the warning signs of dissociation are key, too. It's a lot of work.

 

[Justmehere]

What is the hardest part about grounding techniques for you?

 

[pixel]

What I understand about grounding is it's a way to position yourself in the present. The goal seems to be to distract you from what's happening in your mind and to focus on reality. Yay or nay?

The technique T harps on about, is using the 5 physical senses to reaffirm where I am.
I asked her "what if you hate your body?" she said it isn't body work, so I'll be fine.
but I'm not. :sour:

(@Justmehere to answer your thoughtful question:) Grounding is hard because of the end result. I don't want to feel my toes on the ground, smell my perfume and listen to my breathing, blah blah blah.:wtf:
being in the body is hell, I don't want to sit in it.
and if someone is asking you about your yucky past, should they rightly expect you to feel comfortable about being in your body?
(i hope that didn't come across angry or attacking, — my body language is slumped and defeated so I'm probably whinging.
Just tell me to quit it whenever you wish :troll:)

So yeah @JEKBreatheandBelieve, i should let the T know it's a struggle to ground. Thanks for that, and i like your suggestion of trying to ground when starting to dissociate as opposed to when you've already faded out.:tup: i reckon i can do that, as I've fought off switching parts many times.