Sex

[Sujimu]

Oh I'll say - I'm the one who said people get hurt. I guess we are all different but when I was a young woman I did not understand the concept of sex as fun, and I did get hurt. And yes we take that risk in a relationship as well, but that's different - that's two people trying and taking a risk.
I feel protective over young women because I remember what I myself was like, but that said we really ARE all different - as noka has said.
I still don't understand the concept of sex for fun!! It's still something that exists in a relationship for me and I have to be intimately involved emotionally as well.
I do miss it, but it's no good for me without all that. In fact I'm pretty sure it would still hurt me to have casual sex in the same way it always did!!!
But I guess if everyone is honest, as Noka said, then it's two consenting adults.
But I myself was very naive about sex when I was young - I thought if someone wanted sex with you they must really like you and want more than that.
It was a hard learning

 

[Moco]

You all are lucky that you can enjoy sex.

 

[Turovid]

Well to be honest the fear outweighs the drive now with me.
Sex is a powerful force - for good and for bad. I've experienced more of the bad than the good.
Maybe that's why I feel protective over young women too.

 

[Apive]

Maybe that's why I feel protective over young women too.

They're their own people, and the age of consent (very approximately) corresponds with the age that that society usually considers a person to be mature enough to decide for themselves.

nothing in life comes risk free or uncertainty free.

I don't know whether the woman was acting out, saying thankyou, wanted some fun, would have appreciated being close to someone who was kind to her for the night, or is genuinely into older guys - because I didn't act on what I'm pretty certain was a come-on.

 

[Robiwu]

Who knows. But I'm betting she was just flirting, seeing what kind of reaction she could get. Although an earlier poster said she was into much older men when she was young, it's pretty rare - unless you've got a thick wallet!!! Which is the equivalent in a man to big sexual assets in a woman.
People do use each other for all kinds of things....

 

[Cifocu]

Although an earlier poster said she was into much older men when she was young, it's pretty rare - unless you've got a thick wallet!!!

No it isnt. Ive always been into, and came onto, much older men, not matter the size of their wallet or "assets". Its very common, per my therapist, for a girl that has been sexually abused to come onto older men.

 

[Isuni]

Yeah I'm very protective of young women simply because I know how naive they can be and how manipulative men can be when it comes to that kind of thing.

 

[Wepopo]

I'm very protective of young women simply because I know how naive they can be and how manipulative men can be when it comes to that kind of thing.

You said it much better than I did. That's how I feel too

 

[Epof]

You said it much better than I did. That's how I feel too

Thank you

 

[Nuvop]

No it isnt. Ive always been into, and came onto, much older men, not matter the size of their wallet or "assets". Its very common, per my therapist, for a girl that has been sexually abused to...

Yeah I'm very protective of young women because I know how naive they can be and how manipulative men can be...

Worries that the young woman may have been acting out earlier abuse, or looking for a "mentor" were the prime reasons I didn't escalate the interaction.
My (female) T's take was "stop trying to overthink it"

the other side to my not acting (and I am overthinking this too) is that the woman may feel rejected, abandoned and somehow not good enough because her come - on was ignored.

 

[Nenoga]

Worries that the young woman may have been acting out earlier abuse, or looking for a "mentor" were the prime reasons I didn't escalate the interaction.
My (female) T's take was "stop trying to overthink it"

Noka, here... I agree with your therapist. Let the other person worry about their side of the street. If you don't want to sleep with someone much younger, that's entirely your prerogative. As is judging a potential partner of any age as not gonna happen...But don't do my thinking for me :)

Don't get me wrong, there were times we needed to be discrete -to protect his reputation- and times where we didn't. Yes, I've been assumed to be a whore (literally, although I took that to be a compliment, it was a very formal affair), and a gold digger (snort, man was an E8, they make less than teachers, and I was financially very well off at the time), and a few other uncomplimentary things. Shrug. Other people being dead wrong in their assumptions about me generally amuses me.

For the record, no CSA or daddy-issues in my history.

 

[Reva]

I know how naive they can be and how manipulative men can be

I don't think there's a gender monopoly on either naivety or manipulativeness

when it comes to that kind of thing.