Sexual Assault Trump And The Dad

[Muttly]

I'm not in a good head space. I know there's some other trump threads floating around, so maybe I should just be posting there. Maybe posting here is just me being selfish. Maybe what my family said was truth. Maybe what my T has been telling me is lies. Maybe my dad talking about my mom and I like we were objects that existed to temp men and that we should expect to be groped and objectified was true. Maybe it wasn't any big deal when my dad copped a feel and I should have understood it was just a joke, or him being a guy or whatever. Maybe anything else I think or remember about that family is lies I've made up to get pity.

I know, there are people who are speaking out about trump but the polls say a majority of men would vote for him. And it's hardly like my dad was the only persosn to treat me like that. And my best friend's mom is posting about how she supports trump and accepts his apology. she calls herself "my other mom". she is acting like my mom to. he apologizes so it's ok. I mean... my mom was worse in some ways because she seemed kind of relieved when he was messing with me instead of her but she was also trapped. my friend's mom... I don't know. she just thinks trump is ok.

I feel like my T lied. like I was starting to believe this world wasn't as ugly as I thought. or maybe this is all just an excuse. maybe the problem isn't that my T lied or trump or anything beside the fact I thought I could change. But this isn't about something that happened to me. it's who I've always been. I got away from him, but deep down I'm still his.

PS- sorry if this is in the wrong place

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I am SO SORRY that this Trump garbage, is making you doubt yourself! You have a right to be treated WELL, and not to be treated as someone's "object of desire".

I don't think that's how I want to say that, but it's hard to put into words....the way can SO easily make us feel like objects.

PLEASE stay in therapy, and learn to fight the negative thoughts that feel like they will never stop! It IS WORTH the work! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!

Take care of YOU, and work towards finding the YOU that is waiting to be loved, discovered, and HAPPY!

ALL men are not like Trump! I hope you will make any man you date "EARN" your love and trust!

Blessings to you!
AKJ

 

[EveHarrington]

The Trump crap is making me less trusting. This says a lot considering I previously thought I had no ability to trust.

You deserve to have your own space to work through the issues that this trump stuff is stirring up. I started my own thread too. I think it's ok. The mods only want to limit the Trump threads if we're debating politics (I think).

I don't think it's a majority of all men that are voting for trump. I think it's a majority of white men. Among African Americans he has like a 3% approval rating do he definitely does not have the support of a majority of African American men. But yeah, it's scary that so many men are supporting him. I don't ever want to associate with anyone who supports him ever again. It would be like selling my soul to the devil himself. I have morals and cannot dismiss such a major character flaw in someone------supporting Trump is AT BEST passively supporting sexual assault, the exact kind that has happened to me. No, just no.

 

[hodge]

There are plenty of good men who outraged at his behavior and words. And it's basically only old white men who are voting for him. So take heart, he is losing in national polls and in most swing state polls.

I'm so sorry your dad did this kind of thing to you. It was not a joke. No man should ever, ever touch his daughter that way.

You deserve to be understood and valued for who you are. At least we here can try to do that for you. And it sounds like your T gets what was going on. I think you should listen to him or her.

:hug: if that's okay

 

[NightSky]

If you haven't watched Michelle obama's speech, I recommend it.
I have also been horribly triggered by this Trump craziness. But one good thing I have seen happen as a result is women coming forward to share their stories. It is SO understandable that when a man in a position of power says these things, and we watch people we love support him, it turns our world upside down. It's hard and it hurts because we want to believe people who love us would never downplay Trump's predatory assertions. But there are so many good men out there who know how to treat women. And so many strong women out there who are coming forward and bravely speaking out against it. Focus on your healing, and your right to live free from those who hurt you before. The real truth is you have always deserved to be treated with love and respect and nothing less.

 

[Muttly]

I keep meaning to come back and give meaningful replies to your responses but I can't get it together. I had a good conversation with my therapist and it made me realize some things about my dad. But now there's stuff happening at work that's also triggering. I ... whenever I actually try to talk I dissociate or go numb.

 

[Muttly]

I just really want to be dead. (not going to take action)

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[hodge]

Michelle offers some true talk and healing: Michelle Obama's EPIC Speech On Trump's Sexual Behavior (FULL | HD)

 

[Gs172003]

I am SO SORRY that this Trump garbage, is making you doubt yourself! You have a right to be tre...

They are right. Not all men are like Trump.

Example. My male boss made a Trump joke just yesterday. We have these grabber things at work we use to get garbage from out of reach and a pair disappeared for over a week. They were brought back yesterday and I told the boss. He smiled and said no Missy...we now call those "The Trump" ha!

I love that man.

The point is most everybody knows how big of an idiot he is around here. Even the men.

 

[Gs172003]

I keep meaning to come back and give meaningful replies to your responses but I can't get it together. I...

Baby I'm sorry. I wish I could help.

 

[Muttly]

Talking to our therapist about Trump and the dad made me understand something about the dad. Part of the thrill for him was doing things out in the open. There's bigger stuff that he did, but what haunts us on a day to day basis was the "smaller" stuff.

When the body was really smart he'd "pretend" to grope me under the nightgown. He didn't actually touch up there, but he'd start running his hand up in that direct going "oooo" and it was a "joke" so no one in the family did anything of they saw. Later he'd touch. Maybe not full on groping but his hand would go there for just a moment to show he could and again he'd sort of make sound and make sure it didn't look too bad so it could be done in front of the family.

As the body got older he'd grab our ass on a regular basis. It got so we learned how to bend, so our face was towards him, so our butt wasn't exposed, or be super fast. But we could never really get away from his hands. Sometimes he'd just be walking by and grab. We were the littlest so we'd be sent under the christmas tree to water it and he'd run his foot up between our legs while we were down there. He'd do stuff in public. Like one time we were skiing and we bent over to release our ski, and he ran his ski pole between our legs until it was touching us and laughed. We were so embarrassed to have everyone around see. We were also... we wished someone had said something. It was always worse if he had something in his had, it always become an object to touch with or to represent sex with.It was so constant that we'd often flinch when he'd move his hands. If we had to walk past him, we'd rush past him. He'd laugh and say we were as nervous as a long tail cat in a room for a rockers. Or other times he'd act sad and talk about how wasn't doing anything. Our mom's main comment was "we come from a butt pinching family". She managed to not see a lot. The brother mostly ignored it but every once in a while he'd put hands on us or the mother. he talked about our body nonstop too. when we were very little and learned to do the splits he said some day we were going to make a man happy we could spread our legs so far. Stuff like that.

We still don't talk about it much. it was always dismissed in the family. it was never seen, when it happened in public. And it's not the big stuff. it's just a joke... locker room talk.