How To Get Help When Therapy Is A Ptsd Trigger

[Human]

I don't want to explain why, but any form of therapy or otherwise trying to discuss things forces me to have a full on PTSD episode, complete with pretty much all the symptoms you could imagine. Hell, even thinking about therapy or trying to find a different type is enough to set me off. Of course, this is far from being the only thing to trigger an episode, but it's the one causing the most interferemce with my journey to healing, because you can't exactly be having useful therapy when you're in the throes of a full body shut down.

So the real question is, how can I get help if getting help just sets me off? (Trying to do "remote therapy" i.e. over the internet or written notes has the same triggering effect)

 

[Pupif]

Can you convert it to something else?

Persuading yourself for the time's sake what you're doing is not that triggering T-process?

 

[Human]

Can you convert it to something else?

Persuading yourself for the time's sake what you're doing is not that triggering...

Unfortunately it doesn't exactly work like that. Even if I'm just having a normal conversation with a dear friend and it happens to meander along and so much as innocently/innocently brush up against an issue (of which i have a VERY long list), it's game over for me. Instantly. No matter what I try, whether I want it that way or not.

 

[Zoceta]

I had that problem, just being in therapy would cause me to panic and shut down - the relationship aspect of therapy was absolutely torturous for most of my first year. The only way through was for me to keep turning up, keep working on grounding myself before, during and after sessions and keep telling my T what was happening.

Over time it did get easier, I can still become very very anxious before sessions but much less than before. I'd suggest that just turning up just now is work enough - don't even think about trying to process trauma, talk about how it feels to be there, what's happening in the here and now or sit in your Ts company. You could also try shorter sessions and work up to being there for an hour. One thing that worked for me was longer sessions where I could freak out for half an hour and still have time for "therapy".

It's hard, but not insurmountable with the right T.

 

[Ohabof]

I was in your situation 25 years ago. Took 20 years before the triggers lessened enough for me to be present in session and another 3 to start making real progress. Totally worth it.

 

[Human]

For that matter, any time that I have to mention things that aren't externally quantifyable and verifyable facts (i.e. "subordinate didnt submit paperwork on time), such as things like my own opinions, likes/dislikes, reactions, feelings, and/or memories (traumatic or not), it's game over pretty much for the rest of the day, possibly longer, depending. There is no "and then do other things" phase for me. Other triggers i can function after, but speaking about the effects triggers have on me, i cannot. Ive had incidents that happened midday on a friday, and i was only just barely able to be functional in time for work.

 

[Otowo]

I'd suggest that just turning up just now is work enough

^^^this^^^

Look for someone who is prepared to work with you long term and on building the relationship slowly. For a long time it was all about 'just' showing up for me.

 

[Fehowi]

Have you thought about going to a therapist but not focusing at all on the event? Maybe you can have a friend explain to the therapist your struggles so that you don't have to and go there for as long as you can manage, then just talk about your favorite song or tv show. Maybe talk about your house or pets. Anything that is easy for you to talk about. When I first went to therapy, although I didn't go into a full blown panic attack, if the issue was pressed I would deny it and fall into a dissociative episode, unable to go about my day. So my friend went with me because she's been with me during so many episodes and knew what to do to help. Would it make you more comfortable if you went to a coffee shop with the therapist rather than in a room? Because I know sitting in a room, despite how comfy it may look, it feels intimidating for me. My therapist let me bring my dog along(as long as they're well behaved and friendly) and we walked to a nearby city. (I chose a therapist that lived a bit of ways from me so to lessen the risk of other people I know seeing me.)

Also, if it's so severe.. have you considered taking anti-anxiety meds to help with this? Or doing something before meeting that is very relaxing and boosts your confidence. I know it's very hard and it took me a good amount of years as well. A friend was actually the one that convinced me to go, otherwise I probably never would have gone. I'm not going to lie, it's probably going to get worse in the beginning but just keep going. Keep communicating, doesn't have to be about the topic. Some therapists will be okay with you texting or calling them. Sometimes if I'm having a bad day I'll call my therapist and say, "I went for a walk today and I saw two dogs. I also read a really nice book called "-----" My favorite part was ----." If it's really bad, I'll keep it short. "I went for a walk today but I decided to head home early." Most of the time she's unable to pick up so it's nice that I don't have to talk to someone on the phone since it makes me nervous.

It will get better but it's definitely not on easy task. After your first session, or maybe even just mentioning the idea of therapy on this thread, you deserve to treat yourself. Start little. You thought about the "T" word? Good job, go watch a funny video. You can say the word out loud? Nice! Treat yourself to something delicious. You've looked up a therapist(not contacted)? Awesome! Maybe go watch a funny movie with a friend or go on a walk. Anything you will for sure enjoy. Good luck and I hope things get better for you soon!

 

[Human]

I was in your situation 25 years ago. Took 20 years before the triggers lessened enough for me to be present in session...

I can't wait that long. My list of triggers has gotten so out of control that life is pretty much impossible. If I dont get this under control immediately, Im looking at losing my house and my family, and ruining my career

 

[Acon]

I can't wait that long. My list of triggers has gotten so out of control that life is pretty much impossible. If I dont...

Another suggestion... Have you considered a service dog? It will get you out of your house, can be trained to calm you down. I am actually a dog trainer(and have trained service dogs in the past) so if that is of interest to you.. let me know and we can talk into detail about how that may help. :) Doesn't have to be right now, just whenever you feel comfortable to.

 

[Ebe]

I agree with @Zoceta .

I think I don't quite get as severe reaction as what you describe, but it is tough. It was tougher at first. There are rarely times when I don't cry most of the session, and that's okay. As far as shutting down, that has happened after few sessions. Generally I've gotten used to the fact that I'm digging into the worst of my issues, so it can't be easy.

That meant that sometimes I progress a lot, even though it's hard.
That meant sometimes we touch on something I can deal with, and for weeks my life is havoc. But I keep going to therapy, and talking about it.
Eventually something gets better again. It's a process, and it's hard.

I also always have in mind that it might be tough time right after therapy, so I usually make sure not to have things to do that can't be rescheduled. Or if I am already having a tough week, I even make sure that there are few hours after therapy with no plans, just the plan of taking care of myself.

In the weeks when therapy is really triggering to me, I am still trying to adjust. There are good days and horrible days, so I just try to adjust and do what I can on the good ones and give myself a break on the bad ones. Not that it's easy in any way.

The thing I've seen is...there will always be triggers, there is no way to completely avoid them. The only way to improve is to face them. But at your own pace. There have been weeks in therapy when all I have energy for is to talk about my regular mundane problems and nothing even close to my past. Also, there was quite a lot time when I was dreading therapy and just couldn't go. So I didn't.
I keep saying now that I wish I'd gone a lot time ago, but truth is I am not sure that was a possibility for a long time. So you have to really think and go with your gut on that one. If you decide to start therapy, it might be the hardest process, or it might have to be your priority over other things for quite a while. I actually didn't go until I had gotten things better myself, then got badly triggered and things started going downhill, I tried to get them better again for perhaps a full year. And only when it was so bad I couldn't get myself to see people, or go in buses, or call on phone, or go to dance, or even do my job, when all I was doing was trying to get by and survive, only then it hit me that at that point, I have no choice. I need therapy, or soon I really won't be able to get myself out of bed at all.

 

[Donet]

And triggering yourself on purpose until you manage that response isn't an option?

Instead of taking it slow and gradually, going full blown into the thing and learning to manage it from THAT point.