Forever Alone Club

[scout86]

it would be best not to get attached to anyone else, as they would probably die too.

@SheilaKathy , none of us are getting out of here alive. ;)

 

[gone]

I think my destiny is a permanent membership in the FA club. Relationships for me are too confusing, volatile, bandwidth consuming, and ultimately heartbreaking. I wish I had a partner. Meanwhile I eagerly await the robot versions.

Plus it helps that meds have more or less neutered me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, I will GLADLY hand in my membership card as well as my welcome gift toaster if I can find the right person who meets my sky-high standards! Single....(they say most guys on dating sites are not actually single....), not addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, you name it.....honest (ok, maybe this one put the nail in the coffin of me ever finding anyone), doesn't suffer from 'nice guy syndrome' (ie guys who proclaim to be nice guys but are anything BUT), don't have a 'white knight complex' and see me as the perpetually damaged person who needs to be fixed.....Yup, its official, staying single for life. Anyone have a preggo cat so I can start on my way to being that crazy cat lady?

 

[Friday]

Forever is a long time...

3 more years, though, and none of my cells will have a first hand knowledge of sex :P Gah. Frustrating. Literally. ESP., as it's completely voluntary. Sex is everywhere. The only thing stopping me is me.

I often suspect I'd have been better off if I'd just gone full out on the crazy-scale this time like last time. Screw healthy, responsible, pattern breaking nonsense & just done what felt rig at the time, instead of fighting it.

When I left the ExHusband... I did a lot of reading. Whole lotta studies out there on DV. One of the more consistent stats out there was that women who waited 5+ years before getting into another relationship? Had the best shot. Bell curve before that, with the majority just going right back into abusive relationship after abusive relationship. Okay,then. Fine. We'll wait 5 years. Because if there's one thing I've learned about my life? I do not beat the odds. I am whatever screwed up side of a statistic is out there.

It's "only" been 4 years. (Face. Plant.). And, most of the time, I've been -not pleased with myself, that not close to right- but sure I made the right decision. Especially as I could see where I started, was the year before, the year before that... Chuckling. In the middle of my divorce? All I wanted was to be held. Yep. That's right! What did my prospective partner need? Morals? Character? Convictions? Charisma? Nope. Arms. That's all. Just arms. Standards dropping! Aisle 3!

My standards have raised a whole helluva lot since then.

Downside I didn't see coming, though, is that they also raised for myself. Whoops. Drat those unintended consequences.

I don't meet my own standards. Crap. Worse... I doubt I ever will.

I generally like myself. First to admit I'm a terrible person, but my taste in people is allowed to be suspect. I can be a terrible person and still like myself. But that's a whole different ball game from what I ask of myself, my own standards.

I don't want to be alone. I'm rather crap at it, in fact. I'm a far better person in a support role than leading or solo. But we don't always get what we want. Shrug. And that's just life. Doesn't mean I won't kick over it, but I'm a big child in a lot of ways. So I don't want to be alone, but the longer I am, the less I can see that changing.

I can't see anyone I would want in my life, also wanting me in theirs.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I think I will pretty much have life long membership too. Maybe some day I will feel like giving in my membership card, but hold it for me because I will be back to claim it.

I will GLADLY hand in my membership card as well as my welcome gift toaster if I can find the right person

Hey whut? I didn't get no toaster. Can I go claim this somewhere? I am planning on getting my crazy cat lady starter kit as soon as I can, though.

One of the more consistent stats out there was that women who waited 5+ years before getting into another relationship? Had the best shot.

Oh man I have that 5+ years nailed, so my chances must be getting real good by now. I'm just waiting real long, maybe I'll go for ten years, so I catch the best of the best out there... and maybe even be functional when I attempt a love situation with them... :roflmao:

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm a lifetime member. I can see no point in putting myself through another relationship, since I can't seem to pick the right guy. I am now fat, and totally ok with it because it keeps the assholes away. I tend to try to please whoever I date, and lose myself. I will just watch movies like the Princess Bride, and know that twoo love is for other people.

 

[anonymous]

Well, who needs an official "relationship" anyway. This sounds pretty good actually.

I agree, "husband and wife" is just some label that means nothing. Love doesn't do labels, it knows no limits. People should define for themselves and their loved ones what a relationship is.

 

[Changing4Best]

In my case, it is boyfriend and girlfriend. I call him buddy sometimes. We hold hands. We have not even kissed yet, but he said he was going to kiss me sometime. We meet in church mostly, so I think we are waiting for a place away from church to kiss.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I've been single for the past 17 yrs. It was my choice. I just pick such freaking losers, that I decided it just wasn't worth it anymore. I'm ok with my decision, and now...... I wouldn't get involved again. I love being alone. I'm not picking up someone's dirty assed underwear off the floor ever again, and I'm not into channel surfing so I'm not sharing the remote either.

I love my drama free life, the peace and quiet and the fact that I answer to no one. There are perks to being alone, you just have to find them!!!!

 

[Crow]

I chose to not get into another relationship after my partner died eleven years ago. Best thing I could've done for myself. Gave me room to work on my crap without the added dynamic of another person. Me and the cats are doing just fine. Though I will admit I'm ready for that daily connection again if the opportunity opens up.

 

[ceruleanblue]

I have gleefully joined the FA club.

Whenever I think about getting into a relationship with anyone (especially a man), I feel clausterphobic and paranoid. When I'm in a relationship, I feel downright crazy. My last relationship with a man was intense. I was so, so in love with him, and he was a basically nice, but massively irresponsible, tactless, lazy guy who did not put a tenth of the work into the relationship that I did. The relationship, even though I was madly in love, left me exhausted, broke, crazy, and behind on the life I should have been living for myself because I was orbiting around this one (fairly average, not spectacular) guy for years and put everything else on hold.

I've come to the conclusion that "love" is overrated, and fodder for selling movies and diamond rings.

I married a woman after that, and she turned out to be very, very, very manipulative, a user, very critical and it was getting to the point of psychological abuse when I finally said it was over and left. Since then, I don't want to waste my life pouring myself into someone else. I want to take care of myself, I want to have time alone.

I tell people I'm "retired" from dating. I feel like after all I've been through, I have earned the right.

 

[Changing4Best]

My boyfriend complained about what they served him for dinner last night at the Assisted Living Facility, thinking I would take pity on him and marry him, as he has wanted. I simply told him that I had had some cashews for supper along with some potato chips and some prunes, a cucumber and a tomato. He had no comment, LOL... I don't know, but he had probably thought I had made some elaborate thing for myself. Not me! I am no cook. I eat cold food at home most of the time, because otherwise I forget I am cooking and burn whatever I attempt to cook. So, no, I won't be marrying him or cooking for him! In fact, I have made it clear that I do not invite men into my apartment. If he wants to see me, we have to walk to McDonalds, as neither of us has a car. He has to walk further than I do, so it is always up to him if he wants to meet.