I just came back to try to say, but not sure if this is helpful
@StormySea , and I haven't read all the posts. I can only say, JMHO but with ptsd for example trust is a very different animal, sometimes it takes decades or sometimes it's not possible. The stress cup explanation also explains much, as per moving in. Not that''s it's so early, but it likely always has different or more challenges.
But further, what I meant before is both partners would behoove from understanding and management, I think something that often takes older age, MUCH work and much self-awareness. Learning what's wrong, what to do about it, trying to do it differently- and all with fear. It's all a risk.
Also, no one wants (nor should want) to get stuck with someone that they will regret doing so.
I think a lot of bearing ptsd can present a facade, including a facade of self-suficiency and lack of vulnerability. But when vulnerability can kill you it's often not worth trying to overcome.
But similarly everyone has wounds, ptsd or not, and they deserve to be respected. Many times though as people we don't really protect one another from harm from our behaviours, even unintentional harm. That's what I meant by maturity, understanding & self-understanding, and cherishing people and their histories- 'getting' the gravity of what you're getting in to, or a more complete picture, or why also leaving can be neither 100% personal nor viewed in a 'regular' way. And also, cherishing what you're being given, for both people.
Sometimes the impression can be (and it can be an inaccurate impression) that it's like asking how to fly a jet plane when you've never set foot closer than an airport. :(
Hope that even makes sense. :notworthy:
