Love Of My Life Turned To Ice

[Tinyflame]

You're welcome @StormySea .

I wonder sometimes if sufferers/ supporters lose understanding between them due to not realizing it's a question of frequency, and gravity- normal responses or emotions present abnormally (without sufficient cause).

it's wise to have certain conversations/revelations about each other

The onion analogy is one where 'healing'/ recovery is like peeling an endless onion. Many of us wouldn't even know what conversations to have until another layer comes off.

Every relationship is a risk

Yes, but with sufferers we frequently don't have the heart, energy or reserves left to face that risk, or rather the fallout if we risk and end up with more trauma. It all goes in to the same basket, and that basket is a daily stuggle as it is.

It's not about trying harder. Living 24/7 in your own skin that feels unsafe and a world that feels unsafe, with a sense of a fore-shortened future, and 'demons' constantly in your head or over your shouder, (and that only begins to touch on it) doesn't make for a pleasant or sometimes even tolerable existence. JMHO.

 

[GrayOwl]

You're welcome @StormySea .

I wonder sometimes if sufferers/ supporters lose underst...

Thank you for articulating those concepts so well.
Your last two paragraphs are so descriptive and accurate.
It gives me answers to questions I didn't even know I had, which is kind of the point of what you were saying.

It also gives me pause to reflect on my communications with those close to me.
Recognizing and admitting I have this ailment, and tracing some of the symptoms and triggers, maybe I can forewarn some of those close to me a little more about cause and effect. If I'm in a safe space it might be something I could do that might help my supporters and friends and family.
......better self awareness.
thank you. food for thought. for me, anyway.

There is a lot to think about in this thread.

If I Only Had a Brain

 

[Marie76]

You posted this as a big f*ck you guilt trip on the sufferers side of the forum, so I'm going to be real...

Agreed. Finding the words, then communicating them, even in a way that would be comprehensible is often impossible. There's a great deal of time spent in ones head, which is often a frightening place and so guarded it makes Fort Knox look sick.

 

[pamela page]

I also am in a relationship with someone who has PTSD. I wish I had a magic bullet solution for you. S...

thankyou for posting this message it is very upbuilding. my husband left six months ago now but visits everyday . he also told me to go find someone else then a few days later told me he said it because he is not good enouph for me and thinks it would be easier for me if I hated him as much as he hates himself. I do tell him I love him every day. and support him as much as I can. I have been told by friends I shouldn't bother telling him I love him as he says he feels nothing for me anymore. but I believe everyone needs love and by telling him and showing him I love him it can only help him feel wanted. especially as he feels that he dosent belong anywhere.thankyou again ,

 

[GrayOwl]

thankyou for posting this message it is very upbuilding. my husband left six months ago now but vis...

Thank you as well. Your posting shows that every situation and every relationship is unique. If you have great strength and make sure you take good care of yourself, it shows great character to do what you are doing. If he is not abusive and does not present a danger, he is simply very very wounded and hurt, your compassion for another is a wonderful gift. It has the potential to enrich many lives. Thank you for posting and I wish you well.
Always remember though to care for your own safety and welfare.

 

[Katievf]

I am sorry you are going through the very abrupt shocking treatment of abandonment, especially when such a "full" life seemed to come together so quickly. I want to caution you though... your perception of the entire relationship may have been falsely created.... Your story reads like a classic textbook play-by-play of a narcissist Love-Bombing a victim, creating Codependent relationship, and then Discarding. If you are not familiar with this well established abuse tactic/progression, please search Amazon and buy any book about Narcissist in relationships, there are a TON. What hurts is that you realize Everything about them was a lie, therefore your relationship was a lie too. You will know for sure once you do the research what kind of mess you actually just escaped! BE grateful he didnt waste Even More Years of your life. Again, I am very sorry for your pain. A lot of know this kind of thing can leave a hole that hurts for a very long time.

 

[HURTINGINTN2]

Thanks. I'm trying. I just deleted 4,000 texts from him. We used to talk that much. Bless you.

...[/QUOTE]
I can relate to your 4000 text and Marco Polo. Ive listened to every message on Marco and cried my heart out. Why is always the good ones? I'm still struggling with hI'm just shutting down less than a week ago. I was caught so off guard.....we talked everyday and texted all day. Then it got to 1 call a day. My heart is broken and I don't think I've ever had to endure such hurt. He won't talk to me when I call/text. That's what hurts. I know ni didn't do any wrong. He's everything I've prayed for and now he's gone. I can only hope he gets the help he needs.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

I met my ex online. We wrote to each other every day for six weeks. When we met, it was magic. After t...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I am going through the exact same thing. I believe he may just need some space for a while.

 

[Deleted member 39414]

You posted this as a big f*ck you guilt trip on the sufferers side of the forum, so I'm going to be real...

It's been nine months since my ex walked out on me without a word and I wanted to say, f*ck you for this response to me when I was at my lowest. Because of childhood issues, I have big issues with abandonment. This only made it worst. I could barely get out of bed. He, by the way, has been accepted to art school and got a scholarship. I almost got fired from my job. You, like him, are probably just a jerk with PTSD.

 

[Friday]

Oh yeah. 9 months after being told not to kick people when they're down just because you're hurting, you come back for another f*ck you, and I'm the asshole. At least you were more direct this time. Cheers.

 

[EveHarrington]

OP I think it would be a good idea to not use the words "nuts" and "crazy making". This kind of attitude just adds to the stigma surrounding mental health. Guys who use these terms with me are GONE. We are not nuts. We are not crazy. We don't need partners who put us down like the rest of the world does.

 

[Brodie]

He, by the way, has been accepted to art school and got a scholarship.

what a reach................getting accepted into art school doesnt and getting a scholarship doesnt reduce the effects of ptsd...

this is so pitiful, you've turned your life into a competition with all your "i have issues, i almost got fired, he got into art school". sounds like it could be the story of a taylor swift song....
like i'm sorry his actions hurt you but that doesn't make it right for you to come to a ptsd support forum, and then downplay ptsd. honestly i would understand this as an immediate reaction but you're still on it 9 months later? make an appointment with a psychologist.