Crying in therapy

[Copper Princess]

@stp2012 I am managing better. I am really hard on myself especially after I feel like I have done something wrong. Crying was a huge NO NO for me. My therapist told me not to push myself. So I apologized to her and we talked about my feelings and moved on (no crying though). I am trying to tell myself it is ok. Hopefully I learn to stop feeling guilty about expressing my feelings soon.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I've been crying almost nonstop for about a week now. My family doesn't even bother asking me what's wrong now. How many tears did I withhold throughout my life? Enough to fill a bathtub? A swimming pool? I have no idea, but it seems my body has kept track, and it's determined to shed every single one of them.

Something this reminded me of - when my daughter was about five years old, we were visiting my mother and stepfather. My daughter was trying to ride a bike on the gravel driveway, and wiped out, skinning herself in the process. She began to cry. My mother told her to stop being a crybaby and get herself cleaned up. My daughter yelled at her grandmother to stop calling her a crybaby, to which my mother responded, "well, you are a crybaby".

My very small, hurt little girl looked at my mother and said, "I'm hurt, I'm sad, and now I'm really mad! That's not what grandmas are supposed to say when their grandkids get hurt."

My mother's mouth literally dropped open. I couldn't have been more proud of my little girl.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Crying was a huge NO NO for me.

It's quite common for parents to downplay a child's emotions for one reason or another. Teaches us to suppress emotion. Almost as though letting down is a display of weakness. Ptsd does that enough on its own without the added mess of crying on top. Especially in front of anyone.

I think it's good that you were able to talk about it with your therapist. I wouldn't ever force it either...not sure I could even if I wanted to. When or if tears come to the surface with your therapist, it won't have been the first time and you know she's a safe person to cry in front or with.

I'm proud of you! Takes a lot of courage to even broach the subject. Good for you for letting yourself be vulnerable.

I couldn't have been more proud of my little girl.

I totally agree! YAY for that girlie of yours.

 

[Copper Princess]

I've been crying almost nonstop for about a week now. My family doesn't even bother asking me what'...

Great job of your little girl! I hope she will continue to stand up for herself when others are wrong. That speaks high volumes of you too. You have done an awesome job teaching her it is ok to do that. Way to go!

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Great job of your little girl! I hope she will continue to stand up for herself when others are...

She's 23 now. Not only does she stand up for herself when others are wrong, but even when others are right, lol. She is very strong-willed. And stubborn. Still, I'll take that over oppressed.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

On a more serious note, learning to love yourself involves honouring all of your feelings. I've learned that there's no such thing as conditional love. It's all or nothing.

 

[Rani G2]

On a more serious note, learning to love yourself involves honouring all of your feelings. I've learned that there's no such thing as conditional love. It's all or nothing.

Mal, thats true, yet very very hard. Still struggeling with this...
Everytime I let myself into that vulnerable state, Its more dissolving in the inner, cracking into pieces....

 

[Deleted member 42665]

I can relate to the feeling of not thinking crying is ok. However, I am still struggling to cry at all in therapy. I want to, I feel safe there but I only tear up a bit, wipe it away, look away and go on.... I am glad you were able to cry. I bet it felt great

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@Copper Princess I know I keep going back to the same thing, however now that you've had some time to process things a bit, how are you doing?

I care.

 

[Copper Princess]

@stp2012 thank you. I am doing ok. I am trying really hard get through therapy. I am still really embarrassed about crying but my therapist said we will continue to work together. We are working on me liking myself so I can learn to love myself. I hope you are doing well!

I can relate to the feeling of not thinking crying is ok. However, I am still struggling to cry at a...

@DogLover33 actually I was really embarrassed and cried really hard when I got to my car. It is not something I want to make a habit of but I am learning it is okay.

 

[Copper Princess]

On a more serious note, learning to love yourself involves honouring all of your feelings. I've lea...

@Mal Content I am learning to like myself first because I honestly don't like myself.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

my therapist said we will continue to work together

I think that's one of the most important things to remember. Your therapist was the one who was with you in the moment and is still there for you now. You will work it through and you're already on the road to developing a stronger relationship with your therapist.

I guess I'm at a point where crying in therapy would probably be helpful, but I don't. Like you, I don't like to cry openly, but I do trust my therapist and trust him to guard my tears.

You'll get to a point where it won't feel wrong or embarrassing - but there's no rule that says you must. Yes, it happens and often in a healing way, but isn't necessary. Don't beat yourself up about it.