Ok Here Is My Baby Step.... Gonna Go Out On A Limb...

[Sludge]

I say, pull the SOB out of it's lair, into the light of day. Then spit in it's eye. Bully's are only good if they can control you. You can only ever hope to gain control this beast is with your own mind. That's truly where it resides.

Jar

We each adapt differently. See, i want to get mine back in the pit so i can fill it with concrete, then dig it up and have a really cool looking statue for my back patio...

 

[tho9900]

Imma kick mine in the teeth with steel toed boots, spit on it, set it on fire then cut it up in little pieces.. oh... then hang it... (ok sorry a Monty Python moment)

I am letting mine out little by little to be honest... back in the 90's I ended up with 3 DWI convictions, 17 surgeries minor and major from one of the DWI's, and a UCW from letting the lid off too fast.. Felony jail time doesn't sound appealing right now.. nor does more surgery...

I have noticed I am becoming more and more aggressive as I am going through the psych system/sharing on here... almost ripped the guy at the pools tonsils out the other day which I posted about... and I am still angry about my eyeglasses I know he stole.. the leg on the back up pair from 6 years ago fell off this morning.... makes me wanna kick his ass even more...

Honest???? I am feeling kinda dangerous... but it is the best I have felt in a lotta years... I am not scared of anything or anyone.. this slightly overweight, middle aged vet... who loves people like they have never been loved is not afraid.... I divorced my ex because of the beast.. best damn thing that happened.. she made it pissed and made it stir around angry inside me while I sat at home alone and she travelled the globe...

Nichol brings it out of me but she pets it and makes it purr if you want metaphors... she might not rly understand but she has been thru enough she has an idea... let's just say she grew up like me (re Bills post) and on the wrong side of the tracks...

I know I am dangerous right now... I am a bomb waiting to go off but I am watching myself... not gonna let it get too far.. and at the end of the day I have Nala, Harley (Nichol's boxer) and Nichol to pull me back in to reality...

I am not gonna dissapoint a few people here I consider to be mentors either..

 

[JarHed]

I think that everything we learn about the beast, the therapy, meds and experiences is what allows us to delve even deeper into the quagmire of this thing. Of course along with that is it also juices up all the other parts of it; anger, anxiety, depression, ect. So you have to try to do it in a way where you can mantain some control over things.

Ah, control, that can be just such a fantasy sometimes. I can think I've got a situation well in hand and then BOOM, I'm a hairs breath away from ripping someones throat out. That's the part that I still find more than a bit scary. Ya'll know how much damage you can do in a couple of seconds. Don't really want to go to jail, just not my idea of a vacation from society.

When I do feel overwellmed by it I go down stairs where I have my heavy bag and just spend some time workin' off that energy. Poor thing, it's startin' to look a lot like me, twisted, lumpy and bent. :ROFLMAO: But better that than someones face. Although..................... It's still one day at a time.

Jar

 

[jamz]

A moment of humiliation is better than a life time of regret.

 

[JarHed]

A moment of humiliation is better than a life time of regret.

Nicely said Jamz. I'm always amazed at how many 'moments' in life are the major deciding factors in our lives. What you do or don't do can make all the difference in the world.

Jar

 

[Sarg]

This may be slightly off-topic but you brought back a childhood memory, Jar. When I was in grade school, we had the infamous "milk line". Where you stood in line, pushing and shoving, paid your nickle and got your little carton of milk, with straw. Well, we had a class bully. Class bully decides he wants my place in line. Pushes me off my feet into the dirt.

He's standing there in line, my place in line and being smug. Well old Sarg doesn't get mad, he gets up and brings his trusty, official Roy Rodgers steel lunch box, loaded with two peanut butter sandwitches, an apple, assorted veggies and some cookies, from the ground up as hard as I could and hit him just under the nose. Bully comes all the way off his feet to flat out on the ground, bleeding profusely from the nose. Thought I'd killed him!

Moral of this epic novel? When the beast pushes you out of line, hit him with your official Roy Rodgers lunch box!

And, ah, yes, I did get suspended for two weeks. But the bully never f*cked with me again!

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Hey Sarg

Loved that story. I'm sure we all have a 'bully' story. Seems like some things never change. I was a pretty quite and meek kid and got bullied alot. Till I just couldn't take it anymore and retaliated. Never had a problem after that. It's amazing how that works. Only difference was then a punch in the nose did the job, today they bring guns. Sure ain't the world we grew up in. Oh, well as they say; The times they are a changin'.

Jar

 

[tho9900]

don't make me post that Dylan song again lol (the times they are a changing)... ya we all have our bully stories.. that's the reason I felt Bill's thread about where we came from was so good.. of the people who posted we coulda switched families and they might not have realized it..

And this is my thread feel free to go where you want.. there is something to be learned in every story I have seen here..

For me I was in 1st grade.. these two kids would meet me where the bus let me off and wrestle me to the ground and hit me..... ,my dad came home from LeJeune (he firmly felt we needed to be around family and develop roots in school as well as our town.. gotta give him that prop... no continuous moving every 2 yrs for us) anyway he saw what happened and taught me the most important lesson in my young life.. (at the time, these guys were 3rd or 4th graders and the abuse was increasing... )

He said pick up a stick, a rock whatever is near you and think about the worst way they could hurt you with whatever was in your hand..... and do it to them twice as hard...it only took once and no one was hurt but one of the guys pride.. 3 days later they were wanting to go ride bikes with me..

And Jar I work in a school district and sadly it is such a diff world.. my ex was a teacher and she had a student threaten to shoot her.. then he went into a description of the gun was in his dads top drawer, already loaded, the safety switch was to the left above and a little behind the trigger etc... he was a Pre-K student, really?

 

[Anglesachse]

.....................And Jar I work in a school district and sadly it is such a diff world.. my ex was a teacher and she had a student threaten to shoot her.. then he went into a description of the gun was in his dads top drawer, already loaded, the safety switch was to the left above and a little behind the trigger etc... he was a Pre-K student, really?

Well I think my opinon on fire arms is probably pretty well known by now, so I ain`t gonna go there in detail.

Suffice to say....

Is it realy worth the risk!

 

[Anglesachse]

Getting kinda back on track with bullies...

Being a pad brat I was only ever in Military schooling, right up till the day my old man left the military and I had to go to a Civvie school.

Being a village, I was the outsider for 4 years. Only ever got on with 2 others in the school, both from Military families. And well being the outsider you allways get picked on, Like its open season for anybody from year 1 to 5, couple of times a week, was allways in front of the headmaster for some scuffle or other.

Got to the point that 2 boys and a girlfriend of theirs started on me in the class room. I ended up loosing it, Totaly blacked out, and it ended up with 3 other lads out of the class and 2 teachers trying to restrain me. I was sat on one of the boys beating the shit out of him, had his head in my hands smacking his head of the floor, blood every where (he was allready unconscious). I had dislocated the girls jaw with one punch and kicked the other lad so hard in the nuts he fainted.

Got left alone after that, still don`t know why though. LMAO

And all I ever heard from the headmaster was, "They don`t want people like you in the Army" Realy?

 

[Anglesachse]

I also had problems with my nipper, he has Secondary PTSD and suffers with the agression aswell. He is 12 and built small but very sporty, and he gets picked on all the time.

In his old school, this lad 2 years his senior has been picking on him, right till the point where my nipper explodes, beating the shit out of this lad who is not only 2 years older but also a head taller and stockier.

I got a call from the school to come pick him up, and I got there as he is "Being told off" by the headmaster, "Told Off" because you don`t get "Bollockings" anymore. And all you can here is my son " He started it, I told him to leave me the f*ck alone"

Any way, I get out side after a chat with the Head, he tells me in his own way what happened, and I give him the obligatory speach about fighting never solved anything and he should talk things through blah blah............................ and well we High five, you just have to don`t you?!, Coolest thing he ever did, First ever fight, and he kicked ass, I was so proud of my nipper. Comes down to the "Yeah if it come to the crunch, he can look after himself".

The kids in the old school left him a lone after that. they used to walk around going "No! don`t wind him up, he is evil" LMFAO

 

[arwarfighter]

R

This may be slightly off-topic but you brought back a childhood memory, Jar. When I was in grade school, we had the infamous "milk line". Where you stood in line, pushing and shoving, paid your nickle and got your little carton of milk, with straw. Well, we had a class bully. Class bully decides he wants my place in line. Pushes me off my feet into the dirt.

He's standing there in line, my place in line and being smug. Well old Sarg doesn't get mad, he gets up and brings his trusty, official Roy Rodgers steel lunch box, loaded with two peanut butter sandwitches, an apple, assorted veggies and some cookies, from the ground up as hard as I could and hit him just under the nose. Bully comes all the way off his feet to flat out on the ground, bleeding profusely from the nose. Thought I'd killed him!

Moral of this epic novel? When the beast pushes you out of line, hit him with your official Roy Rodgers lunch box!

And, ah, yes, I did get suspended for two weeks. But the bully never f*cked with me again!

Sarg

Roy is a bad mamma jamma! lol