Funny Deployment Stories And More...

[armyvetwolf]

It was 2005-2006, BAGHDAD, IRAQ. It was the rainy season and all the sand had now turned to a sticky, thick, cement like mud. If that wasn't bad enough, majority of us soldiers had to walk through it to get from place to place. On top of that, our engineers decided before it rained to dig huge trenches to prevent flooding...instead all they made were giant puddles(n) . So, on my way to a PAI (dog tag inspection, military ID inspection), i was tromping through the mud with my M4. I get about halfway to the CP building, try to jump across the trench and PLOP! I land right foot, right hand and my M4 barrel deep into a mud puddle! Half my body was instantly covered in mud and 90% of my barrel was filled. Man, was i pissed:mad: ! I decided to grab a nearby humvee and pull myself free. I was soaked and it was still raining. I get up to the CP building and this soldier, same rank as me, starts to yell at me for being late and lecturing me about what i am supposed to do. I just looked at him sideways and said "First STFU! We are the same rank, TWO i know where i am going and what i am doing. THREE Unless you want to get your ass kicked, i suggest you move aside"o_O I left him mouth wide open as i went inside, as the 1SGT took a glance at me and shook his head and said CARRY ON. Had to been one of the worst days ever in Iraq, but funny now that i look back on it.

 

[Anglesachse]

.................If that wasn't bad enough, majority of us soldiers had to walk through it to get from place to place....................

Guess you wish you had joined the Navy or the Airforce. Weired that, being a soldier and having to walk through shit. Training must have realy changed. Saying that, it would have been good if Zip had been there, he could of just driven there in his Leo and given you a lift. :cool:

.................I get about halfway to the CP building, try to jump across the trench and PLOP! I land right foot, right hand and my M4 barrel deep into a mud puddle! Half my body was instantly covered in mud and 90% of my barrel was filled. Man, was i pissed:mad: !.............................

We have a name for when things like that happen in the Brit Army. "You F*cking Muppet" :ROFLMAO:

.................. So, on my way to a PAI (dog tag inspection, military ID inspection), .................

You must have been realy lucky not to get a bollocking, what with it being an Important meeting and not something menial like a weapons inspection or an ops briefing. :sneaky:

.................. Had to been one of the worst days ever in Iraq,.................

Probably better not to write what I was going to. LOL

 

[armyvetwolf]

Probably better not to write what I was going to. LOL

No, please do. I don't get insulted easily. And no, i don't wish i was air force or navy at all. I walked for miles everyday, but who loves tromping through the mud to go to something that wasn't important? PAI's are mediocre, we have them all the time and if i had missed it i wouldn't have been bollocked as you so put it. I have done worse things than that to get "corrected". This story was meant to be funny, haha. I am sure other soldiers have similar tales they are dying to get out in the open. Of course it wasn't the worst time i had in Iraq, but at the moment it felt like it. It would have been fine if i hadn't fell in the mud, but that's what makes a good story.

 

[armyvetwolf]

Well, i think i am going to take a break from driving on the road for a little bit. I just had a "blonde moment" while driving. For some reason while i was circling around to go back to my house after i found out a tattoo parlor parking lot was full, i ended up in the left lane of an intersection. For some stupid reason, i got into a turn lane...for the opposite direction:confused: ! And made a left turn onto a one way street the wrong way...:eek:!!! I still had a green light but had to back up in the middle of the intersection to get back onto the road the right way...man i was so embarrassed. And yes, a cop was right there watching! :whistle: So, i will quit driving, at least for the weekend.

 

[tho9900]

Guess you wish you had joined the Navy or the Airforce.

lol I was in the Navy and spent more time in the sand than on the deep blue... and ya understand what u meant no offense.. The Marines use Navy Medics...

hmmm funniest deployment story but not so funny cuz I had to medevac his azz. was the guy who ate the MRE hamburger patty without rehydrating it. lol talk abt pain...

then there was the time on leave in Israel from my Lebanon deployment the E-7 with us threw an empty beer bottle over a wall... ends up it was a house courtyard.. and here comes some guy looking all like Goliath from David and Goliath jumping the wall and chasing us 1 mile or so... lol.. man we were dumb....

 

[Wagon]

Sitting off of Lebanon wallowing in our own trash for some months, we had this guy who just never got it. Boot camp did not change him. They failed. He was from a posh family in Reno, Nevada and just never lost his Freshman frat boy University attitude. In Navigation it is terrible attitude to have. We were a small department. 8 people. So everyone did everything.

Anyway, we got on his ass allot. He just never got it. Talked so much he got banned from most Sea Detail jobs involving communication lines. But we also gave the guy a good teasing. He talked about his mother and sister allot. We made crude comments about both. He hated it. Pretty much any time he pissed us off, we would start to ask polite questions about the sexual habits of his 17 year old sister.

So the great day comes when he leaves his camera in the Chart House after General Quarters. Being after we had just almost beat his ass for not putting things away properly for the 10th time. It's the mid watch and me and my watch mate are bored. We find the camera with half a roll of film. "Hmmm Anthony's camera"

Well..... First we just took some dumb pictures of nothing. Then I thought "Hey, Anthony sends this directly back home for his Mom or sister to develop. The pictures are for them"

At some point in time a very posh upper class middle aged woman, or a very bratty posh 17 year old girl was greeted to the exciting photos of "Cocks of the USS Iowa bridge watch team". Probably abt 11 penis pictures. Officers, everyone was taking the camera to the head. Anthony left before he found out, but I don't think he beat the photos back home. We laughed about that for the rest of the cruise and longer. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the photo shop. Oh man. "Nice photos you got there. What does your son/brother do in the Navy?"


Yeah I know Angle, the Navy is kind of gay, ain't it. Wouldn't be so bad if we could keep from damning ourselves.

Wagon.

 

[armyvetwolf]

LMAO Wagon! You just brought a very similar story back to mind when i was stationed in Germany.

While i was on a field problem in Hohenfels, Germany...i was hanging out by our barracks. The National Guard guys who were training with us were staying in the barracks directly behind us. In our downtime, we sit and chat, the usual BS.

Well, i just happened to have a one of those one use throw away cameras that i bought for shit and giggles. I was taking pics of me and some of my fellow soldiers. I laid it down and walked back into the female barracks for a few minutes. Came back to find it was missing. I started to notice some of the NG guys were snickering, so i put out my hand and said come on guys, give it back. They said damn, didn't think you would notice it was gone.

After the field problem i went on post and turned it in to be developed. I get back to my room and go over the pics. And about halfway through the pics, i started busting out laughing, shaking my head. It was cock and balls of the PA National Guard....everything from ass shots to brains...LMAO. Since they decided to keep in touch with me when they got to Kosovo, i sent them a nice lil letter with a few of their "special pics" back to them as a reminder that i can take a joke and the good times we had at Hohenfels, Germany.

And let's just say i played a few tricks myself on others guys cameras, but they were mainly digital so they could also erase it if they wanted to.

 

[Sarg]

Hey! I got my boots muddy once! Took the houseboy all morning to clean them up!

Sarg

 

[shogun]

We had a guy who brought a video camera everywhere. Now whenever we did a patrol this guy without fail always had to shit. Little did he know when he left his camera to go pop a squat we turned it back on and filmed him in the act. Lol. What we didn't know was that he had been sending the tapes home to his parents! The whole deployment he had been sending tapes home to mom and dad with shots of him Shitting all over Iraq. Lol

 

[Wagon]

Sarg you bastard.

 

[SGT.Sunshine.]

Hey where in baghdad 2005-2006, I was there then aswell, what unit? hmmm
I was in 4ID then.

 

[reddevil1111]

My best story is one that painted me into quite a corner.
I had graduated boot camp. I had also spent 7 days at home on leave and had reported early to my "c"school. (place where you get initial training after bootcamp)
Monday morning and I had no clue there was going to be an inspection. Inspections on Mondays are something ALL Marines face but at the time I had no clue. I had no uniforms that were ready, I was in bad need of a haircut as I had not had one in 9 days and looked like a girl. (my high and tight was not so tight anymore, it was real fuzzy)
Along come several of my oh so helpful fellow Marines. Wear this, stand still, Ill help cut your hair and so fourth. End result was timed almost to perfection so I had no choice but go to the inspection as-is. With half of my head shaved, wearing to tight pants and a baggy uniform blouse. Snuffy smith had nothing on me. I was a real sad sack!
Needless to say I was stared at by the company sgt with saucer plate eyes and his head was steaming like a tea kettle. I did not get off easy. And yeah, I never failed an inspection ever again. But what a way to start things off.