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Connecting The Dots

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Sleeping Dragon

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Based on a recommendation from Jimmy and Spock I'm reading a book titled Once A Warrior-Always A Warrior by Charles Hoge. It's an excellent read for anyone who's seen what we've seen.

There's nothing in the book that I haven't thought of or felt before. But, Dr. Hoge does an excellent job of explaining how and why reactions to combat effect us throughout our lives (he connects the dots).

I'd like to quote something from his book that points out what I've believed for a long time. "PTSD is an adaptive and beneficial response when there is a threat to your personal welfare or that of others, and the persistence of these reactions is the body's effort to ensure that you're immediately ready if the danger occurs again".

Dr. Hoge goes into detail about the limbic part of the brain and how it takes over when survival is threatened. He says. "The job of the limbic system is to ensure that you survive by not forgetting anything that happened during dangerous or threatening situations. These memories are not bound in time". He also says. "The limbic part of the brain does not give a damn how miserable you are as a result of being overwhelmed (flooded) with these memories".

Here's why this is such a comfort to me. It lets me know that what I feel is PERFECTLY NORMAL. I was built this way so that I could have a chance to survive. These animal instincts are a gift, not a curse. And, holding onto them is what my mind and body were designed to do.

Now, as well as these gifts served me in the mountains of Quang Nam Province, they create huge problems back home. That Dragon who lives in the limbic doesn't give a fat rat's ass about laws, rules, compassion or forgiveness. He's programmed to survive.

Learning how to control this part of me must be my number one priority. If I can't stay in control nothing in my life will work, NOTHING. So, I'll keep reading and practicing, every damned day.

SD
 
Hey Dragon

Sounds like a good book, I'm going to have to check it out. Some of what you've said about our brains responses seem just so true. We go off to war as one person and return as another. It's hard enough for us to try to figure out let alone anyone else. I've always thought; One cannot look upon the face of war and not be changed by it.

Jar
 
Good for you SD! Coincidentally, I was in a PM discussion with Sarg yesterday as I headed out to my session with my Pysch, the same Dr. Hoge. I was sharing with Sarg what I wanted to address with the good doc and Sarg suggested an alternative view of what I was calling a "betrayal" of those closest to me. Well, as I told Sarg upon my return, Doc told me the same thing basically Sarg did. Then he told me that I needed to "get out of my brain and get into my physical, get back to exercise, stretching, yoga,." etc... I was also told to buy my wife some flowers and apologize to her for being an ass. Well, I disagree with the last part from my perspective but he also told me that he can understand how shitty it must be to be trained (as military intel) to analyze and plan for threats everywhere which is why he wants me to get outta my head. Give it a rest. he also told me to read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" to help me understand why her & I are missing the big picture. Anyway, it is a good time to apologize for being an ass to everyone. So from this pain in the ass to the rest of you warped asses. Peace!

http://www.wikisummaries.org/Men_Are_From_Mars,_Women_Are_From_Venus
 
After all these years I find I still have so much to learn. Then, I must put the new found knowledge into practice. I'm moving toward a bit of what I set aside so many years ago, one baby step at a time.

I honestly don't think I'll get there in this life time. But, I'm finding some great spots along the way. This site has done much to help me down that road. Soooo, thanks Guys and Ladies.

SD
 
Hey SD, wasn't it amazing that Dr Hoge's was it Gunny or First Sgt, anyway, a Nam vet and he did not even show symptoms till the year 2000.
 
I think we all lost site of what it was like to live without the demons and dragons kicking our ass. Hell, I thought everyone checked the roof of Sears before going into the mall.
 
Hey SD, wasn't it amazing that Dr Hoge's was it Gunny or First Sgt, anyway, a Nam vet and he did not even show symptoms till the year 2000.

Interesting. I think I had symptoms but my limbic system was telling me in order to survive THIS (after I got back) you have to shut down. Be invisible. Be passive and let things really build up to a blow. And in 1997 I blew. Divorce. Years of therapy. Drugs for pain, mental and physical.

And then my little sister reminded me of something my father said about me years ago. You've got battle fatigue.

And I started to read and study it. Went back to the VA to no real result. And later a therapist, around 2000 told me she thought I had PTSD.

I'll find that book. Comes at a time when I am really feeling shut down. Taking the hydrocodone now for pain but I have a handle on it.

Always something new to learn.
 
Interesting. I think I had symptoms but my limbic system was telling me in order to survive THIS (after I got back) you have to shut down. Be invisible. Be passive and let things really build up to a blow. And in 1997 I blew. Divorce. Years of therapy. Drugs for pain, mental and physical.

And then my little sister reminded me of something my father said about me years ago. You've got battle fatigue.

And I started to read and study it. Went back to the VA to no real result. And later a therapist, around 2000 told me she thought I had PTSD.

I'll find that book. Comes at a time when I am really feeling shut down. Taking the hydrocodone now for pain but I have a handle on it.

Always something new to learn.

This is a great introduction.

http://onceawarrior.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/LookInTheBook.pdf
 
Jimmy,

Thanks for providing the link. I hope many take the time to take a look, and them pick up a copy.

SD, you have to really want to get better before you would spend money on a book. Most people in this world spend more money on toilet paper than books.

Then again, if you are on this site, then you want help or want to help others.
 
My ebook is stocked with PTSD books, soe of which are really just docotoral theses that leave you wanting more substance. There is a lot out there. I can lend books to you guys if you have a Nook. If you are a reader I recommend getting one good one.
 
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