Urgent! Time Sensitive Help Needed!

[atilla]

Its hard being a sheepdog when the sheep are retarded. Thanks for you efforts Brother Sludge. ;)

 

[Sludge]

Its hard being a sheepdog when the sheep are retarded. Thanks for you efforts Brother Sludge. ;)

I am a troubleshooter first and foremost. Being able to BS my way through anything is the only true skill I have. I have my personal experiences as a veteran. I have knowledge of all aspects of veteran life thanks to you folks and the folks I try to help at my job. While I am not the best qualified by any means, I'll go head to head with anyone in research, argument and any other fact based issue. I can sniff out BS and faulty logic and fallacy like a pug sniffs out bacon. In my thinking, if this dude really, truly wants help in understanding military, veterans and veteran affairs, qualifications be damned, I've lived it since 1997.

I have a goal that benefits people aside from myself and my family now, something I haven't had in years. I feel like it is about time I face my fears and hatred and frustration and actually get out of the basement and do something about it.

I attended my first DAV meeting on Saturday and swore an oath to help serve veterans. I actually said the Pledge of Allegiance and meant it, something that goes against everything I believe about the US Constitution.

I don't take oaths lightly. Only other one I ever made is when I promised the US NAvy I would give up everything and do anything that needed doing in support of this country. For years I felt like I failed that oath by giving too much and allowing myself to become a broken failure. As a guy that used to fix things for a living, it is about goddamned time I got off my ass and tried to fix something that will allow me to keep those aforementioned oaths.

 

[Sludge]

Well shockingly enough, I heard back from the Congressman's head handler today. They have accepted my offer and then started requesting background and experience questions...

I then spent the next few hours finding solutions to a few issues they thought they had, such as why a veteran paid 500 bucks for training manuals for the local IEBW or is it IBEW?

Anyway, they did not realize, as the veteran in question did not, that the GI Bill and VocRehab programs have provisions already in place to take care of such expenses.

I explained and provided valid support information to prove this was so.

I then went on to explain that while these provisions do exist, the real issue is that A: they don't provide enough money to fully cover books and supplies for most post secondary educations (exception VocRehab) and B: Many if not most veterans are not made aware that such resources exist.

I again demonstrated, provided examples, and valid real world data to support such claims. I went on to clarify how the issue is yet another example of how the VA has failed us in that they all but hide such nuggets of important information thus lowering the quality of life and inhibiting access to additional entitlements- in other words to goddamned much red tape.

They now have the information and to the best of my ability the capacity to understand it. Hopefully they will use it. Chalk up one for our side, maybe.

iI was also asked to provide my background training and education, and details of my military career. Effectively they requested an informal version of my resume and CV. That ,I hope, means they either really need my skill set, or haven't realized I am pulling out all the stops and doing my best to convince them they need said skills.

Lets just hope I can keep my shit together enough to truly due some good.

 

[Sludge]

So while I'm on the horn with this jokers non-veteran military affairs advisor- anyone have any additional concerns? Might as well take advantage of a connection direct line to the armed services committee.

 

[RTO]

You will kick ass and take names, Sludge.

How about true equity in pay, benefits, and treatment for 'single' soldiers(service members)?

 

[vikingr24]

How about just plain overcrowded hospitals and clinics. Some of the people do their best but others are just gettin' that paycheck. Here in Arizona, you have to travel far and wide for some services. Like if you live in Phoenix and have to take a stress test (not me, never touch the stuff) you have to go to Tucson. It's infrastructure issues and knowledge, as you say. I just didn't play the "veteran's game" when I got out of the hospital. I didn't know it was a game. I was in shock that I was even alive. How about some real transition with support and real counseling, rather than "appointments?"

There needs to be some cogent, focused thinking that is as flexible as our own battle plans were. (Well, at least some of them were.)

I get upset even thinking about going to the VA. You never know what's going to happen. Like the proverbial shoe drop. So I gave up.

When I talked to a guy who was running and exercising like an Olympic athlete, and I can barely walk, tell me he got 100% disability when he landed wrong on a 'chute drop once. Jeez, how many times have I landed wrong, almost broke ankles, shin bones. Easy to do.

Fairness, I guess, but you should not have to beg. And I didn't expect to be spoon fed either.

Get the infrastructure where you don't feel like you are entering a nursing home instead of a hospital. That story about Walter Reed just chapped my ass. Old paint falling from the ceiling.

Let's see the plan.....

 

[Friday]

Its hard being a sheepdog when the sheep are retarded.

I'm turning this into a shirt.

 

[Friday]

*** Apologies ahead of time. I've got my ramble on.***

I touched on it in my original "I got nothing, cause I've never sought help as I'm too paranoid, but good on you" post...

There are AA meetings held in the Whitehouse.
There are treatment centers that specialize in Docs, Cops, Judges, etc.
Because there is a serious stigma surrounding alcoholism & addiction. People find out? Even if you're clean? You can lose your job. Although this day in age, so many millions have gone through AA it's almost normalized.

PTSD ain't no different. Except it's like alcoholism back when, before AA. It terrifies people.

I was talking with a friend the other day who asked me "How many cops do you know without PTSD?"

Yep. Exactly. Most of us, even with severe PTSD do & can pull up out of our nose dives. We can recover from our tail spins. And, quite frankly, we do it better & faster with help and treatment. But how many of us never seek it out??? Because a diagnosis is the kiss of death for a helluva lot of people. It's not until our lives are already fucking disasters, and there's just not much of anything worth saving that we seek help. Sitting in jail, families destroyed, lives torpedoed. Then it's safe to get help, cause the only thing we're at risk of losing is our lives. Until we reach that point, most people simply have too much to lose. It's a damn shame.

I've been thinking on this more and more these past few months. Started right before I found this place, when I was circling a hospital because I was suicidal as f*ck, knew a single shot of "sit the f*ck down and shut the f*ck up" would drop kick me back from the edge... But I couldn't park my car and walk through the doors. Why? Cause it would go on my record "seeking psychiatric help". I was suicidal, but I didn't want to die. Crazy that. But if I got help, then there was no reason for me to live, cause my record would be f*cked and I'd lose custody, lose my ability to work, lose any reason I had not to die. Catch22. Same thing as when I was active duty. We were all f*cked in the head. The trick was not to lose it in public. You're only crazy if people catch you being crazy. So keep it locked down, unless you were with your crew. People who had your back.

We walk through the doors of the VA? It goes on our records.
We walk into a VetCenter? It goes on our records.
We're active duty? Fawk
We're cops, firefighters, EMS, or any of the other jobs vets flood into?
We ever want to work a job that requires a background check or public scrutiny?

((This last one, I've been homeless a time or three, and MOST of the vets I knew on the street wouldn't get help because yeah, things were f*cked now, but they had faith that someday it would be okay, and they didn't want this shit on their records. Embarrassment & shame played a part, but also forward thinking. It's a special kind of stupid. We're not dumb, but it's like dying in the desert of thirst with a full canteen. You have to be brave as f*ck to walk into a VA.))

I don't think civvies get that as piss poor & hard to get into the VetPrograms are? We have no medical privacy. And there is nothing to fill the gap. A politician can feel fairly safe going to an AA meeting. If they aren't that bad off, they can avoid having to seek medical attention, learn to sort out their own loves under the table & off book. Seeking help doesn't nuke their lives.

How many vets could be helped before things got to a crisis point if there was something Anonymous? Not 12 step, this is a different Beast. But along the same lines in effing anonymous. Don't have to pony up your SSN, address, phone number, immediate supervisor. Like here, where we help each other. Something like here, like AA, like the Vietnam rap sessions... A room to go to with bad coffee, maybe a smidge of moto, and some good damn advice. Something to help people before their only option is eat a bullet, or get some help, because their lives are already nuked, so why not?

 

[Sludge]

*** Apologies ahead of time. I've got my ramble on.***

I touched on it in my original "I got nothing, cause I've never sought help as I'm too paranoid, but good on you" post...

There are AA meetings held in the Whitehouse.
There are treatment centers that specialize in Docs, Cops, Judges, etc.
Because there is a serious stigma surrounding alcoholism & addiction. People find out? Even if you're clean? You can lose your job. Although this day in age, so many millions have gone through AA it's almost normalized.

PTSD ain't no different. Except it's like alcoholism back when, before AA. It terrifies people.

I was talking with a friend the other day who asked me "How many cops do you know without PTSD?"

Yep. Exactly. Most of us, even with severe PTSD do & can pull up out of our nose dives. We can recover from our tail spins. And, quite frankly, we do it better & faster with help and treatment. But how many of us never seek it out??? Because a diagnosis is the kiss of death for a helluva lot of people. It's not until our lives are already fucking disasters, and there's just not much of anything worth saving that we seek help. Sitting in jail, families destroyed, lives torpedoed. Then it's safe to get help, cause the only thing we're at risk of losing is our lives. Until we reach that point, most people simply have too much to lose. It's a damn shame.

I've been thinking on this more and more these past few months. Started right before I found this place, when I was circling a hospital because I was suicidal as f*ck, knew a single shot of "sit the f*ck down and shut the f*ck up" would drop kick me back from the edge... But I couldn't park my car and walk through the doors. Why? Cause it would go on my record "seeking psychiatric help". I was suicidal, but I didn't want to die. Crazy that. But if I got help, then there was no reason for me to live, cause my record would be f*cked and I'd lose custody, lose my ability to work, lose any reason I had not to die. Catch22. Same thing as when I was active duty. We were all f*cked in the head. The trick was not to lose it in public. You're only crazy if people catch you being crazy. So keep it locked down, unless you were with your crew. People who had your back.

We walk through the doors of the VA? It goes on our records.
We walk into a VetCenter? It goes on our records.
We're active duty? Fawk
We're cops, firefighters, EMS, or any of the other jobs vets flood into?
We ever want to work a job that requires a background check or public scrutiny?

((This last one, I've been homeless a time or three, and MOST of the vets I knew on the street wouldn't get help because yeah, things were f*cked now, but they had faith that someday it would be okay, and they didn't want this shit on their records. Embarrassment & shame played a part, but also forward thinking. It's a special kind of stupid. We're not dumb, but it's like dying in the desert of thirst with a full canteen. You have to be brave as f*ck to walk into a VA.))

I don't think civvies get that as piss poor & hard to get into the VetPrograms are? We have no medical privacy. And there is nothing to fill the gap. A politician can feel fairly safe going to an AA meeting. If they aren't that bad off, they can avoid having to seek medical attention, learn to sort out their own loves under the table & off book. Seeking help doesn't nuke their lives.

How many vets could be helped before things got to a crisis point if there was something Anonymous? Not 12 step, this is a different Beast. But along the same lines in effing anonymous. Don't have to pony up your SSN, address, phone number, immediate supervisor. Like here, where we help each other. Something like here, like AA, like the Vietnam rap sessions... A room to go to with bad coffee, maybe a smidge of moto, and some good damn advice. Something to help people before their only option is eat a bullet, or get some help, because their lives are already nuked, so why not?

I agree wholeheartedly.

But, in my experience, such help as you describe IS available...all over the place. F*ck, I work at one of those places and I make the shitty coffee!

However, vets and active duty won't use it due to pride, embarrassment and the "I ain't no pussy" factor. I'm not talkin' the VA or even the military itself.
Screw the 12 steps, those are friggen cults where they replace one addiction with another and produce zealots that are still all f*cked up. I know, they work for some. None of them worked for me. Made me feel like I was surrounded by morons.

Lutheran Family Services' Vets4vets and AtEase programs seem to be pretty good, but more often than not they are empty meetings and sessions. There is that "I ain't no pussy." factor again.

Sadly, like so many other places to go for help, our MVSC sessions are always empty. By the way, all our resources are free and completely confidential. Our group fellow comes two times a week and sits alone for two hours. No one shows up to talk. We have an in house PhD in clinical counselling available for one on one sessions. No one ever shows up to talk to him either. Oh, did I add BOTH are PTSD vets trying to help, just like we do here? No record keeping at all. Only folks that know you from the sessions would know who you are, and we are all in the same boat, so as comrades,, we keep or f*ckin' mouths shut about it. But, no one comes in for help that has nothing to do with the VA or the Government or Offutt AFB or Stratcom. Its vets helping vets, and yet we even reject that.

Let me be clear however, these programs DO do good for lots of folks. But what good are they when the PTSD vets refuse to use them? I believe that yet another resource of this type would be a waste of time and money because it too would have tumbleweeds blowing through just like the current ones.

Lets face it, a "round 'em up and force them to go" program would just end in bloodshed. Like most of you, no one forces me to do shit I don't wanna do and walks away uninjured...even if it is only mentally.

Personally, I tried a few of the various programs and therapies in the past. I hated all of them and they didn't do anything for me but create a significantly stronger sense of loathing for humanity in general. I know I am not alone in this feeling.

I come here when I need help. It is about as anonymous as you can get. I only participate if I feel like it. Sometimes I just lurk, looking for advice I don't want to ask for in person.

No offense to anyone here, but I don't and wouldn't want to meet any of ya'll in person. I hate people as much as I hate the VA and politicians and lawyers. Here, you folks aren't really people to me, but fellow "lost souls" drifting through the world wide web looking for the same as I.

I like it that way.