I randomly found this website, and I think y'all could help me. So today, I found my boyfriend of only a couple weeks lying to my face about having his ex's nudes saved. He promised me he didn't, and even said I was the only one he's ever saved. Now, I know it's early to be sending, don't judge...but this has really broken my trust. It's the fact that he had promised me and continued to say what he did, then after confronting him about it, proceeds to never apologize but instead says he'd "take care of it" when he got the chance. Please tell me if I am overreacting or what else y'all think I should do. Thank you..
Help Needed with Lying Situation.
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parrotthepolly
Silver Member
Dump him. He will definitely lie about more important things in the future.
It's very easy to just delete some pictures and I can guarantee he is not going to "take care of it".
I never send nudes and don't recommend it, especially if you don't even know them well. Just beware in the future.
It's very easy to just delete some pictures and I can guarantee he is not going to "take care of it".
I never send nudes and don't recommend it, especially if you don't even know them well. Just beware in the future.
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anthony
Founder
You aren't overreacting... trust is broken, he is actively lying to you, and chances are, he will lie to you in the future. Choose to stay or go now.
Movingforward10
Sponsor
It's only been a couple of weeks. This is when partners would be showing the best of themselves. So, if this lying to you is the best of him - walk away before you commit anymore time.
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- #5
Friday
VIP Member
The first few weeks are the very beginning of getting to knooooooooow you.
If you want to be with someone who keeps their promises, or doesn’t make promises lightly, and doesn’t lie, full stop? That’s not going to be him.
PTSD tends to come along with trust issues, in spades, so it’s easy enough to stop trusting yourself… having overreacted to completely innocuous things, countless times in the past… so reality checking with others? Is a good skill to deploy as needed.
Lying is one of those things that most people have both soft-limits & hard-limits on (which means they’re intensely individual; lying in ABC approved/expected/would be upset if they didn’t lie, DEF fine, HIJKLMNO doesn’t matter one way or the other, PQR disapprove of, STUVW angry infuriated fight about it or walk away, XYZ finis no second thoughts, nor discussion, immediately done, full stop).
So? Where are YOUR limits?
- When is it okay to lie?
- What is okay to lie about, and to whom, when?
- What do you expect when someone promises, gives their word, makes a vow, or swears an oath?
- Etc.
^^^^^ Find your own limits. What you need, what you want, what you can live with/without, what you refuse.
If you want to be with someone who keeps their promises, or doesn’t make promises lightly, and doesn’t lie, full stop? That’s not going to be him.
PTSD tends to come along with trust issues, in spades, so it’s easy enough to stop trusting yourself… having overreacted to completely innocuous things, countless times in the past… so reality checking with others? Is a good skill to deploy as needed.
Lying is one of those things that most people have both soft-limits & hard-limits on (which means they’re intensely individual; lying in ABC approved/expected/would be upset if they didn’t lie, DEF fine, HIJKLMNO doesn’t matter one way or the other, PQR disapprove of, STUVW angry infuriated fight about it or walk away, XYZ finis no second thoughts, nor discussion, immediately done, full stop).
So? Where are YOUR limits?
- When is it okay to lie?
- What is okay to lie about, and to whom, when?
- What do you expect when someone promises, gives their word, makes a vow, or swears an oath?
- Etc.
^^^^^ Find your own limits. What you need, what you want, what you can live with/without, what you refuse.
