Deciding on new therapist

[UnicornSightings]

Ok, so this morning I met with a new therapist, it’s been 6 weeks and 3 days (who’s counting lol) since my last session with the therapist that’s taking a long sabbatical. I liked her. I came in with goals and she seemed chill and not like someone I would get super attached to like my last t but that was easy to talk to and the price is right, she matched the price of my last t which is awesome. She can only see me every other week which kinda sucks but I’m working really well on my stuff and don’t feel I NEED weekly sessions to keep moving forward. The thing is, I also have an appt with someone else tomorrow that I’m considering canceling because I HATE decision-making. If he doesn’t royally suck then I’ll feel stuck because I’ll HAVE to make the right choice. Logically I know a lot of therapists can help me and decision-making is one of my goals to work on so for that reason I’m considering meeting with him. He’s also into meditation and Buddhism which I’m really into as well. So my question is, what do you guys do to make this sort of decision and do you have any tips on what to ask tomorrow to rule him out? I see how I phrased that, that I want to rule him out right away. Ok, so instead, do you have any advice on how to give him a fair chance? It’s not a life or death decision but how can I make this easier for myself? Do you go by gut feeling? A pro/con list?

 

[Freemartin]

My 2 cents: go meet the guy, come back here and brainstorm with us.

 

[UnicornSightings]

My 2 cents: go meet the guy, come back here and brainstorm with us.

I like that plan!

 

[Rumors]

Definitely meet with him. That is like getting married without dating. Lol

 

[Deleted member 38906]

the general rule I use is: if i feel better after I meet with a T most of the time, then we're a good fit. also if I can share my concerns with him/ her (even concerns that are about the T) and he/she doesnt freak out and can handle it, that is also a good sign. Bottom line you gotta go see them for a few weeks and then see how you feel after each time. you'll know with time but i dont think theres a quick way of knowing...unless they are terrible right off the bat, in that case you can eliminate them from your search right away.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Definitely meet with him. That is like getting married without dating. Lol

My last therapist and the one before I just google searched and stayed with. Of course the first one was awful and the second I hate crazy attachment issues with...

the general rule I use is: if i feel better after I meet with a T most of the time, then we're a good fit....

Yeah! See, she seemed really nice and easy to talk to... I don’t know if I want to waste any money trying out a guy. I don’t know if I could even talk to a guy. Hmm.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I was thinking, the bad thing about the therapist today is she knows my last t (since she was one of her referrals) meaning talking about the attachment is off limits if I wanted to.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

My last therapist and the one before I just google searched and stayed with. Of course the fir...

My current T is a guy. I thought it would be awkward but it's fine. I don't know about the men in your life but mine weren't too great. Having a guy T who I can talk to about my feelings has been a nice surprise for my psyche who assumes all men are dangerous and emotionally unavailable.

 

[UnicornSightings]

My current T is a guy. I thought it would be awkward but it's fine. I don't know about the men in your life...

Yes!!!! I think guys have no feelings at all and as soon as they con you into trusting them they’re gonna hit you! (No offense to any of the guys here).
But I feel like how can I trust a guy? I’ll always be keeping my eye on the door and if he blocks my way out I’m gonna freak out. But I DO want to challenge old beliefs, too.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

E

Yes!!!! I think guys have no feelings at all and as soon as they con you into trusting them t...

That's exactly how I feel with my T. Trapped. I tell him, we talk about it and he keeps reassuring me that he will not block me, I'm ina safe place and he just wants to help me. I think I'm starting to trust him more. Hopefully you can find someone you trust too male female heck even non binary

 

[Suzetig]

meaning talking about the attachment is off limits if I wanted to.

I wouldn't work with a T where I thought anything would be off limits. This T should be professional enough to be able to cope with anything you want to bring and shouldn't ever be discussing you with your former T without your explicit permission. If you don't feel you can trust that, this isn't the T for you no matter how much you liked her.

 

[UnicornSightings]

This is such a bad idea. I’m scared out of my mind. My appt is in 5 min, I’m sitting in my car. Well, off to likely be murdered now.