Sexual Assault My rapist sent me a friend request

[13ReasonsWhyNot]

Yeah-a friend request! I had just recently told my whole story in a monologue and I had a video of it. So I sent it to him. Long story short, we ended up texting for a few hours. He at least watched the video and took full responsibility and admitted everything and said he always considered it the worst thing he's ever done. Then told me he was in love with me back then, but then found out he was angry at his girlfriend for cheating on him. He said HE decided he would "move on with the cutest girl he knew" (I did not have the luxury of deciding for myself). This is so effed up and twisted. He said some details that I didn't know about, mostly about unprotected sex with her. Of course he was gleeful in making sure I knew he wasn't going to use anything, so now I feel really disgusting. I feel humiliated that I was treated this way. No regard whatsoever for my well-being. I wish I was a hermit crab and could just crawl out of my shell and get a new one.

I was doing well for awhile. Now PTSD is back. Ugh.

Can anyone relate to this?

 

[Mee]

I have a practical question. Was this reported? If not would you want to and are you within the statute of limitations for your area... Because if he has confessed....

 

[shimmerz]

He said HE decided he would "move on with the cutest girl he knew"

That's a backwards f*cking compliment if I ever heard one. Pure manipulation. Wrap a piece of shit in the best Swiss chocolate? It's still a raging piece of shit.

 

[Justmehere]

I wouldn’t recommend anyone do anything on FB other than block their rapist... but you engaged him AND you managed to walk him into confessing the truth of what he did. Kudos to you for that. Take screenshots of that. If you decide to report, that could be solid evidence.

You are not the first and not the last to engage in dialogue with their rapist. It makes sense your PTSD symptoms are higher. Your brain is in fight or flight to keep you safe.

PTSD got better before and there is a solid chance it will get better again.
I’d strongly suggest blocking him before he reaches out to you again. He’s a real a-hole.

 

[EveHarrington]

Really, I’m not surprised that you were sent a friend request from your rapist given that you spent hours talking to him. I now feel like a victim of click bait. I mean it’s not like his request was out of the blue....you initiated contact with him.

 

[13ReasonsWhyNot]

This year is our high school reunion, so I thought there was a chance something like this might happen.

I’m going to hold on to the messages, of course, in case I need them, like if he were to start stalking me or something. I don’t think he will. He is in ill health. I don’t want to do anything legally because I just want it to be over.

Really, I’m not surprised that you were sent a friend request from your rapist given that you spent hours talking to him. I now feel like a victim of click bait. I mean it’s not like his request was out of the blue....you initiated contact with him.

No I definitely did not initiate contact. The friend request he made was the first contact! I responded to it by sending the video of my monologue about what he did. The texting came after he watched the video and started apologizing.

 

[Freida]

First off.....his behavior is about him....not you. You have no reason to feel disgusting or humiliated. You did nothing wrong.

Stop all contact. Nothing good can come from communication with him. Save the messages and make yourself some notes on what he said in case you need them later. Then contact your T to reinforce your coping techniques to get your symptoms down.

 

[13ReasonsWhyNot]

Then contact your T to reinforce your coping techniques to get your symptoms down.

I called today and they had a cancellation, thankfully. I went today. And I’m definitely not contacting him. Deleted his friend request too.