How do i be more caring/nicer to my husband

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal - Yes well done you. He must be a happy man. :)

Not really

 

[blackemerald1]

Oh no..sorry. I may have misinterpreted what you meant??? Like did you show him the door/ask him to leave?

 

[Gs172003]

Oh no..sorry. I may have misinterpreted what you meant??? Like did you show him the door/ask him t...

Honestly I'm thinking about it

No I bought him a ticket to see his family that he hasn't seen in eleven years for his birthday. He didn't get me anything for mine. He acts like he doesn't care.

He said he wanted to come on this site to help me. He's barely been on it and when he has he hasn't read anything related to us. I'm trying to do the best I can but it's not good enough. I'm trying to learn. I'm about to give up. This is hard enough without him.

 

[blackemerald1]

When is due to go to his family? I hope it is soon. Eleven years is a very long time. I'm glad you did that for his birthday. Maybe when he returns he might be happier?

Coming on this site as a supporter is probably very confronting for him. I am not making excuses for him bc you know him and he is in your world. I cannot imagine anyone I know in the real world apart from my psydoc wanting to help me with PTSD.

Hey @Zoogal - I know you are doing your best. And for now that is good enough! Yes you are learning...we all are. I am sensing your despair but I really urge you to not give up even though it is terribly difficult to manage PTSD, your relationship, work and therapy.

All of these parts of your life are very valuable. I am sad he didn't acknowledge your birthday I think that would hurt me a lot. He is lucky to have you. You do know this don't you?:hug:

 

[Nessa7]

When does he leave?

You've sounded completely exhausted for a while now. The one thing that helps me when I'm feeling like that is to prioritize hibernation time and get away from all human beings and relax. If you have no energy and resources left, it is going to show when you're interacting with people.

 

[Gs172003]

When does he leave?

You've sounded completely exhausted for a while now. The one thing that helps me w...

Not til November

 

[Mee]

When does he leave?

You've sounded completely exhausted for a while now. The one thing that helps me w...

So much this. If pushed beyond I crack and snap and become someone I find difficult to reconcile as ’me’.

It's not pleasant to recognise this need for prioritising ’self’ space but I see it as also protective for others; I don’t want to hurt others by crying or irritability.

Zoogal, I hope your husband does read here. And I don’t think it matters if he reads YOUR stuff at first. It might even be more helpful to not? To develop sympathy for people he has no baggage with might help him see what you carry more easily than concentrating on your stuff which he will read with ( inevitable) bias?

I agree not to make choices or decisions at an extreme place, but I also think it's not helpful to cling on to a situation hurting you; staying or leaving could be ’real’ or reactive.... Only you can get to the heart of that I think :(

I wish you so much strength and peace.

 

[Gs172003]

Thank you all. I'm trying not to make decisions right now

 

[Gs172003]

And now a migraine. Wheeeeee!!

 

[blackemerald1]

So now you need to be much more forgiving to yourself I think?:hug:

 

[Gs172003]

So now you need to be much more forgiving to yourself I think?:hug:

Thanks

 

[ms spock]

Have you looked at Kristen Neff's website on Self Compassion? It might bring up too much now, so to put it to the side for now. Tips for practice are useful.